Posted on Leave a comment

My Open letter to you; 2024 Past Year Introspection and New Year goals for 2025

Happy New Year everyone! I can not believe we are at this point again here! As we welcome the new calendar year saying hello to 2025 and also saying goodbye to 2024 I sit in the duality of the liminal space of transition as I reflect on the past year and look to the new year ahead. Sitting in this liminal space and allowing myself to reflect creates a portal that helps me acknowledge the things I went through, recognize the lessons learned, and gather my thoughts and/or feelings and focus for the year ahead.

My highest heights

. To give the year a proper send-off and reflect on the past 365 days without falling into a pattern of dwelling on the past to the point that you have trouble moving forward, I look at the best parts of the year through a lens of taking note of the highest heights I was able to climb. Actively realizing how far I’ve come and celebrating the wins along the way gives me the perspective and motivation I need when focusing on losses and unwanted things seems all my mind can do that day. Some of my highs from the past year are listed below.

  • The goals I was able to meet.
  • The new people who came in and blessed my life becoming a cherished part of my community I am rebuilding.
  • The kindness showed to be by family in some of my darkest days by taking me in when I didn’t know where I would end up.
  • The magic I was able to weave.
  • The projects I was able to begin, finish, and how my way to express and create changed.
  • The energy I was able to contribute to the collective and the change I was able to make in my clients lives and through my voice and actions demanding change.
  • The amount of love grown between the bond of a mother and a son another year of life can make.
  • The growth a huge mistake someone making can force to take place within a marriage if you choose to forgive and continue your journey together forever with a fresh new clean slate

My deepest depths

I don’t forget about the duality of this liminal time and day. I also look at the worst parts of the year through a lens of taking note of the deepest depths of despair and sorrow I had to face. Reflecting on the lows of the past year means taking time to intentionally think back on the most challenging, difficult, or disappointing moments of the previous year. To acknowledge and embrace the unwanted emotions associated with them. Allowing them identify areas for growth or self improvement moving forward. Some of my lows from the past year are listed below.

  • The confusion and doubt from learning how to enter a technological world I knew absolutely nothing about.
  • The fear and anxiety of being rejected by others never selling a product or booking a client with business I am using to help support my family every single day.
  • The overwhelming feeling of failure when losing my job, getting utilities shut off on me and losing the home I had built for my son and family the past few years.
  • The feeling of grief and loss in who I thought my husband and my marriage was when betrayal entered our life and home.
  • The loneliness and isolation felt when having to finally close the door and cut off contact with all the family I have connected to me through blood.
  • The resentment felt when you take care of everyone else’s world and you don’t see it reciprocated back into your world from those you love.
  • The lack of self worth when facing a relapse from an eating disorder, starting a new business on social media, and healing from betrayal

My Biggest Overall lesson of 2024

“Don’t let the fear of the unknown keep you from taking bold steps toward your goals. The greatest opportunities lie on the other side of fear.”

As you sit to reflect on the past year as it comes to the end and look forward to the next year ahead.
I want you to think of this. Think of every single time you didn’t listen to the fear of failure. Think of every single time you didn’t listen to the anxiety and worry of not knowing if things were going to work out in the end. Think of every single time you kept going even though you had no idea where to go or how you would get there. Didn’t each one of those times get you to a brand new place, build a new thing, or help you meet your goals to achieve your dreams? I’m going to guess the answer is most likely yes.

I know for me the last year was a entire lesson in all of that. I launched this page, started a business, and stepped into a new sacred purpose I had no idea how to shape. The entire time there was fear in the unknown Fear that I wouldn’t have things people would want to hear. Fear that my gifts weren’t something people really wanted me share.
Fear that I didn’t have the power, skill, and time to learn how to create this sacred container especially in a technical way. Fear that I would have to lose things very dear to me in order to make this dream come true and those I love would walk away Fear that the balance between creating content and being present in life couldn’t be had. But, even with that fear there, I kept going. And now just look at where I am at and all the opportunities I have had! This business has done more and has a farther reach than I ever thought I could have!

My First Year as a small business owner

With the turning of a new calendar year I sit here and set my goals and intentions for my personal growth, my family, my personal life, my marriage, my health, and now for my business, this page and sacred container I have created in this past year of my life. This goal I set at the beginning of last year was only supposed to be a small little blogsite for me to write and get my thoughts out in life. Now look at what it’s become and all the skills it has forced me to learn it had never crossed my mind I would need in this lifetime.


It’s allowed my magic to grow and flow in a way I never saw in life and created a new perspective for how to navigate this reality. My eyes were open to how my voice, my energy, and my authenticity could make a real difference in the collective and others lives entering the universal creative force. I was able to get some much more clarity on my identity. I am a hand guiding you on your own unique healing journey. Teaching you to dance in liminal space & alchemize human suffering into healing, power, and magic for the collective. I show you ways to reenchant your life with magic, personal alchemy,& duality.


The goals I have for this magical, mystical, and alchemizing place this next year I know will allow me to meet this epic, resurrecting, and revolutionizing energy of 2025 coming. Below are some of the goals I WILL climb to in 2025 and give you peak behind the curtain of the creative forces that have flowing through me thickly the last month.

  • Hit 1000 facebook and pinterest followers
  • Have 5 people a month join the patreon community
  • Host 2 major workshops spirit has guided me to lead in 2025
  • Be consistent with how I am showing up in this sacred community and container
  • Focus my commitment on supporting all the new offerings in my patreon community
  • Fight injustice in my community by using this space to speak more about political issues and activism the collective should pay attention too and host more events to empower the collective to fight
  • Enter new portals of knowledge to bring back and share with all whose ears are open to hear
  • Listen to those within the community with an open heart to hear what they truly need from to alchemize their suffering
  • Allow my authenticity to shine through even brighter as a guiding light

My top 24 of 2024

Last year I launched this space and birthed my small business this sacred container on 01/07/2024 . After that one of the very firs articles I wrote and posted was my Top 23 of 2023. My reflection of the top lessons I had leaned during 2023. When I look back at that article now and compare it to the ones I have written even in the last week. the growth in my own voice, my writing style, and my confidence is seen all over my site. Which leads me to the first lesson of my top 24 of 2024 . ( Of course , I am going to keep this gong. do you not know me?) If you allow yourself to walk into the unknown you will be in awe at the difference one year can make. In every single area of my life, from the beginning of this year to where I am now has been completely reshaped. Simply because, I had the courage to take that very first step into not knowing the way. Let’s look at the rest of the lesson s I learned in 2024.

  1. If you allow yourself to walk into the unknown you will be in awe at the difference one year can make.
  2. Anger is one of the most powerful emotions to motivate us to change.
  3. true power comes from alchemizing our past, wounds, and suffering into healing.
  4. Progress over Perfection 2024 reminded me that imperfections build character and can be catalysts to change..
  5. I’d rather have lasting change instead of quick change.
  6. Letting go of expectation reduces suffering.
  7. I would much rather Reign in hell then serve in heaven.
  8. I can never stop going I hold someone’s childhood in my hands.
  9. The Peace you get from cutting out toxicity and drama from other people is resounding.
  10. Your choice to forgive and move on must be for you and no one else.
  11. Shame is something others can make you feel while guilt is something you make yourself feel.
  12. In life we are either learning and growing or decaying.
  13. When you choose to play in the matrix you have to know the rules to play.
  14. You must know who you are to attract the abundance and things you need from the multiverse.
  15. Embody your authenticity with integrity.
  16. Lessons will continue to present themselves until you respond in a different and new way.
  17. You can’t create a new life without being willing to shift perspective and do things in a new way.
  18. The wisdom whispered in stillness and silence is the most profound.
  19. With betrayal comes a deep sense of grief for the person and life you thought you knew.
  20. Look for your glimmer in every single day
  21. You can only enlighten the minds of those whose ears are open to hear it
  22. Change is a natural part of life, and even destructive forces can lead to new beginnings.
  23. Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
  24. Betrayal can be a wake-up call to establish clear guidelines for how you expect to be treated.

Final Thoughts

As I look at the heights and the pits of the past year I can’t help but, be reminded of the duality of life. The constant ebb and flow of energy. The endless turning of the wheel. The one thing we can guarantee in our lives forever; is change. The need for us embracing and balancing the darkness and the light. I see how not only the highs bring wanted things into my life but, pits and falls do as well.

In the form of healing generational wounds and trauma. Pushing me to grow, evolve, and becoming the next version of myself. Shedding and letting go of stories and wounds that no longer serve me and weigh me down. While welcoming in new ways of thinking, being, and perspectives of others and the world. As you sit in both the hope of the future looking at the highs, and setting new goals. Don’t forget to also look at those times you sank into the depths of despair, darkness, and sorrow and lessons they had shining bright inside.

Come join me the first Saturday of January to revolutionize how you set your goals for 2025. Let me show you hand in hand how to create my personal development plan. You will leave with your entire years worth of SMART goals planned, a way to keep yourself accountable, and have a clear path on how you meet every goal you set. https://www.paypal.com/ncp/payment/4ZKQ6FXMUGGEJ

Have you been feeling stuck, emotionally unstable, missing joy in your life, or having a hard time connecting to yourself and your magic? Do you want to start the new year from a different headspace? I have the answer for you to start out this new year from a place feeling grounded, present, and ready to manifest your dream life. Come join me for this special one time only two day event teaching you how to integrate the practice of Mindfulness to your magic and life!

What is mindfulness? Mindfulness is the practice of purposely bringing one’s attention to the present moment without judgment. It allows you to move from just existing in life to thriving, get back to wise mind, create a place to heal and grow in, and most important of all, align you with joy while creating a life where you truly thrive! This skill is a core skill in DBT, the therapy that changed my life! To register for this special two day event visit the link below! https://www.paypal.com/ncp/payment/JY5UBMB2TA27L

Posted on Leave a comment

Gain Clarity with Your 2025 New Year Goals by choosing a word of the year

It’s hard to believe another year has gone by! As we welcome in a new calendar year it’s important to choose your word of the year! If you haven’t already chosen a word of the year now is the time to do it! Choosing a word of the year allows you to look back on your hopes and dreams for the year. You have the chance to set the stage for the year to come and focus on what you need most in your life right now. Your word of the year can help you set goals that share a common theme. Ideally, your word of the year should be something that inspires you to reach your goals, chase your dreams, and drives you to live a fuller life. I truly believe that choosing a word of the year can be one of the most powerful things you can do in terms of goal setting , manifestation, and personal growth when the new year comes around each time.

Why choose a word of the year?

In life, you can’t just wish for your dreams to come true. You need to commit to them, create a plan, and implement a system to make your goals a success. There are countless ways to do this. One that I find to be incredibly useful is to include a New Year’s word to constantly remind me of them and keep them at the forefront of my mind. Choosing a Word of the Year is like picking a theme or central idea you want to focus on for the whole year. It’s a simple way to remind yourself of what’s important and what you want to achieve or change in your life—like having a personal motto or slogan.

When you choose a word, it is usually what you need more of, what you want to focus on, or what you need to improve on. A lot of the time, my word has been blaringly obvious. It helps me gain clarity on my goals, my personal development plan, and stay committed to my goals all year long. This method I have been using for years has now become a cornerstone to the foundation of all my goal setting and manifestation work for each year to come. If all that’s not enough reasons to set a word of the year, I don’t know what is!

How do you choose your word of the year?

Choosing a word of the year doesn’t have to be hard. Your word of the year just needs to provide you with inspiration for the direction you desire this next year to go!

First step is to, reflect on the past year and on the next year ahead. Make sure you look at the highs and the lows of from the past year. Look at what worked and what didn’t. Be authentic and honest with yourself about how the past year truly made you feel. Don’t hide from yourself to try and make yourself feel more accomplished then maybe the last year went as well. But, also don’t let yourself get fixated on the things that didn’t come to fruition through manifestation. Instead be willing to see through your eyes with clarity, the lessons they have taught you as this chapter comes to a close. Below are some of the questions I have used from year to year to pick out my word of the year. Use any of them that speak out to your soul or come up with your very own!

  • What do you want to do or accomplish the most in the next year?
  • What was the overall feel of last year?
  • Is there something you want more of or don’t want in teh next year?
  • How do you want to feel by the end of next year?
  • Is there something important you want more of from the past year?
  • Is there something you cherish you want more of from the past year?
  • What skills did you learn in the past year you want to use in the next one? What new ones would you like to learn?
  • What was the biggest lesson you learned in 2024?
  • What is the biggest lesson you wish to learn in 2025?
  • What core value of yours do yo wish to focus on this next year?
  • What feeling fits the goals of every area of your life?
  • What is the biggest blockage you need to remove in 2025 to manifest your dream life?
  • How do you want to describe your life by the end of 2025?
  • How would you describe the year 2024 in one word by the end of it?
  • What was the best things you manifested in 2024?
  • What is the biggest thing you need in your life to meet all your goals in 2025?
  • What major life changes happened in 2024? What ones do you wish to happen in 2025?
  • What was the greatest challenge you had to overcome in 2024?

Once we have taken the time to sit and reflect with our feelings and thoughts for the past year and then how we want to create the year unfolding ahead. It’s time to sit down and start to get a rough picture of how you want your goals to take shape in the year ahead. This step is crucial. If you don’t know what you want to accomplish, it’s going to be extremely difficult to reflect on your accomplishments and assess if you were successful. While you are doing this make sure to take a close look at each of your goals and try to find any connections between them. If you start to see a link now you may start to see your word of the year start to take form and reveal itself to you. Take a look at some of the categories below to help you start to brainstorm your goals. If you need help to learn more about what goals are you can read my guide about them here.

  • Finance
  • Parenting
  • Relationship(s)
  • Travel
  • Home Improvement
  • Self-Care/ self-love
  • Health
  • Career
  • Self-Development
  • Mental health
  • Healing journey
  • business
  • hobbies
  • political activism
  • Spiritual well being
  • Learning/knowledge/education
  • family
  • fun
  • cleaning/organization
  • pets

Now that you reflected on your past year, what you want in the next one ahead, and started to shape your goals for the new year. It is time a create a list . Create a list of one words that fit the feeling of the things you have written down. I like to do this brain dump style. How I do this is I read my answers to the question from above. Then without judgement, fear, or trying to control what comes I pick up my pen and just let the words come. I write down every single one that comes. Now, it is time for you to do the same. Don’t judge any of them that come, you never know which one may sneak up and surprise you. Below you will find a list of ALOT but, certainly not all of the words I have had come to me throughout the years. If any of them are glittering to you on this new day as an unknown year unfolds take them and add them to your list as well.

  • balance
  • compassion
  • commitment
  • acceptance
  • release
  • heal
  • Focus
  • Clarity
  • growth
  • perspective
  • integrate
  • magic
  • learn
  • dream
  • cultivate
  • prosper
  • shine
  • conquer
  • embrace
  • peace
  • simplify
  • create
  • accept
  • explore
  • adventure
  • expand
  • evolve
  • hustle
  • Cherish
  • rest
  • reflect
  • bloom
  • confidence
  • self love
  • thrive
  • elevate
  • inspire
  • persevere
  • forgive
  • encourage
  • connect
  • consistency
  • renew
  • enough
  • alignment
  • boundaries
  • pause
  • seek
  • gratitude
  • speak
  • wander
  • ground
  • allow
  • be
  • believe
  • authenticity
  • honesty
  • success
  • softness
  • family
  • me
  • build
  • devoted
  • Fight
  • Flexibility
  • fulfill
  • fun
  • habit
  • health
  • home
  • imagine
  • divinity
  • illuminate
  • indulge
  • lift
  • no
  • now
  • observe
  • progress
  • sparkle
  • trust
  • surrender
  • rebuild
  • teach
  • together
  • fight
  • unfold
  • wild
  • accepting
  • aware
  • justice
  • brave
  • curious
  • Disciplined
  • Empowered
  • Happy
  • Intuitive
  • invested
  • Wealthy
  • nourishing
  • motivated

Now that you have this long list of words in front of you it time to narrow down your favorites. However you choose to do this is up to you. Whether you meditate, use a pendulum, simply sit and reflect on them or something else. Narrow it down to a few or handful of your favorites to choose from.

Drum roll…. Now is the time we have been waiting for. It is time to choose the word that you can commit to as the next year unfolds. As you choose your word you need to make sure you have a strong pull to it so, you feel you can truly commit to it. If you can’t commit to focusing on your word, then you won’t live up to your goals for the new year. You won’t make changes or put the effort forward Make sure .that your word just feels like it fits. Some years you’ll need a more active word because you’re in a season of growing. While others will be more quiet and slow as you are in a season of reflection and introspection. So, make sure the one it is you choose sings to your soul and is one you can really commit to in the long year ahead.

My 2025 word of the year


After I sat down and did this for 2025 myself , the word that was singing to my soul for 2025 is Consistency. What is Consistency? It is the quality of always behaving or performing in a similar way, or of always happening in a similar way. Consistency also means that we’re making sure we’re doing the things we tend to avoid. There are many benefits to implementing consistency in our life to help us achieve our biggest dreams and reach our highest goals. I’ll list a few of them below.

  • Builds trust- Being consistent in your actions and words helps others perceive you as reliable and dependable.
  • Helps achieve goals- Consistency is a critical driver for success, and it involves dedicating yourself to your goals and staying focused on what you need to do to achieve them.
  • Makes lasting change- Consistency is key to making lasting change serving as a catalyst. it can also increase your productivity and motivation.
  • Helps you overcome procrastination- Consistency can help you let go of fear and procrastination, and take action regardless of how you feel. Which in turn helps with emotional regulation.
  • Helps you build habits- The more consistently you do something, the easier it becomes, and eventually it becomes a habit.
  • Consistency enables us to develop the necessary skills and knowledge to excel in our chosen field and become a master as well.
  • Reducing stress-Consistency can provide stability and reduce uncertainty.
  • Building resilience- Consistent effort can help you persevere, overcome challenges, adapt to change, and stay motivated in the face of adversity.

Why I chose the word Consistency

Now, to be honest, I’m pretty determined and I achieve most of my goals (at least 80%) but when I reflect on those that I don’t achieve, it almost always comes down to consistency. I would probably describe myself as someone who likes to start stuff and likes the sense of achievement of finishing stuff but ,I don’t enjoy the middle. when you can struggle. When you may have days that you don’t hit all of your goals, check off the whole to do list, or be focused on your goals at all. Those days when I don’t do anything to work towards my goals, manifestation, and growth are the ones that can derail my progress and even my entire year. It starts a shame spiral I really struggle to get myself out of off and it holds on very tight. But, as I sit here now and reflect on those moments they also are some throughout the past year that I learned the most about myself.


I n those moments of being inconsistent I have learned so much about myself in the past few years but, especially the past one. From how to love myself more, trust in my gifts and magic, and learn how I can truly help the collective in this life around. My confidence grew and I learned how to use my voice in a more efficient way, and that my number one gift is my authenticity. I learned that my artistic and creative self has been hiding just waiting for the right way to express itself and be let out. 2024 taught me a lot about flexibility and slowing down. Reminding me that amongst a chaotic year and life I can eventually find peace amongst the anxiety of the unknown and be able to cherish the little moments when I go back to my roots , surround myself in silence and be still.

I also learned that I have a lot more healing to go to keep myself in wise mind which allows me to be consistent with the way I want to live my life every single day. I need to be more committed to working through dysfunction, tough times, and hiccups in life (especially with technology) to be more consistent in showing up in my life. I need to be more focused on not being perfect in my progression every single day. But, to instead be willing to just be consistent to see long lasting change. Where my life, my business, my growth, my learning, and my evolution have been blocked and stopped is with me, myself, and I not being consistent with the things I want in life .With not being consistent with the things I know I need to do in life, to reach the highest peaks and bring my dreams into reality. With allowing perfectionism and a need to control block my sight. So, for 2025 I commit to being consistent with myself in an honest and authentic way.

What does being consistent in this year look like to me?

It means showing up for myself and my goals each and every day. Taking action regardless of how I feel on any given day. It means that this year will be the year I build upon the work I have been doing over the last five years to evolve, grow, and alchemize my suffering. I build upon the last year of work I have put in to build my business(this sacred container) and acknowledging the vast amount of progress I have made so far. I will keep doing the things that work and I won’t worry about the rest. I believe that being consistent will help me both personally, spiritually, and NOW professionally. Being consistent will help me let go of the fear of the unknown, of the self-doubt as to whether I can achieve my goal as well as all that procrastination and excuses. Why? because when you choose to be consistent none of that matters, you just keep doing what you’re doing. It makes you accountable to yourself, to your plan. It will also help me be my authentic self, practice what I preach, and let go of the need to be perfect and in control at all times with myself and my world. So, for 2025 I commit to being consistent with myself in an honest and authentic way.

How to use your word of the year?

Now, that you have gone through the steps and reflection to get to your word of the year what do you do? How do you incorporate this word into your life, manifestation and goal setting for the new year waiting to unfold. How do you take this one little word and have it be the corner stone of your dreams coming true, goals being met, and lasting change taking root? That is really truly going to depend on you and what you need. Think about what works best for you. Below are some of the things I have done in the past years you can try. Just listen to that little voice in your head and heart telling you which way to go.

  • My personal favorite, . If you haven’t learned how to create one to transform you year completely check out my guide here.
  • A lot of people like to call them vision boards but, I prefer to use goal boards. Using this term creates a much more urgent sense to complete what is on them instead of making them a some day dream. So, make sure when you create yours for this year your new word of the year you just chose inspires everything on it and is in the center of the board.
  • Are you a bullet journal fanatic like I am? Do you live your life on the pages of that journal? Why not put your world all over it? I do. I add it to the front o f the page and across every single margin so I see it every year.
  • Don’t use a bullet journal then write it on your planner, your calendar, or put on the notepad on your phone or lock screen as a home screen saver.
  • Use your word of the year to be the center of your goal setting mind map. This is one I love to do year after year. I take the word I choose then in the center of a page I write how can I…fill in this years word.. this years number. So for this year it said How can I have consistency in 2025? Then around that question I make boxes for each categories of goals and answer the question for each one. This helps me guide with clarity the goals I should focus on in 2025.
  • Let your word of the year be the guide and center focus of the SMART goals you set for 2025. To learn more about SMART goals and how to set them check out my guide here.
  • , you use for the next year.
  • Another great idea is to create a list of books to read that support your word of the year. If you aren’t a book person then do a list of podcasts, YouTube videos, or documentaries instead.
  • That bullet journal we talked about earlier why not go and pick out 12 monthly quotes that align with your word of the year. use one each month and write it in your bullet journal , on your bathroom mirror, create a phone lock screen, or write it on your monthly calendar page. You can find daily motivation quotes on my Pinterest page to sift through.
  • Are you ready to do some extra introspection and reflection with the new year? Use your word of year to create journal prompts or as you focus with shadow work . If you would like to learn more about shadow work you can purchase my eBook here;  you can book me for a 1:1 session as your guide here; and you can watch my free class previously taught on it through Divination here.
  • Write your word on multiple pieces of small paper and seal them in a jar you decorate to pull out on days when you need to remember your focus for the year.
  • Take your word of the year and write it on sticky notes and place them all over your home to remind you of what is when you need it and you can’t forget it. You could even write it in the inside of your wrist. I have done that from time to time. I suggest don’t use permanent marker or sharpie. I have had it end up on my face by the morning while I sleep through transference. Not fun to try and wash off!
  • Are you more of a person who lives their life using their phone? Then why not take your word and have it on reminders, alarms, or calendar events to go off and be a consistent reminder for you.
  • Write your word down over and over and over again somewhere. Putting your goals which this word is tied to, in writing enhances their tangibility and strengthens your commitment to achieving them.
  • Share your word of the year with friends and loved ones. You can do this in anyway you like. When you Share your goals with trusted friends, family, or a mentor you gain encouragement and accountability. If you need a community to share your word with comment below, comment on facebook, or in my patreon.
  • Lastly, make sure to spend some time in a quiet, calm, and sacred container so you can meditate and visualize what living your life focused on your word of the year will look like, and feel like in the year to come.

Final thoughts

When it comes to choosing your own word of the year, there is no right or wrong way to do it. It’s about choosing one word (you may or may not want to choose a mantra/affirmation/quote instead or to go alongside) that will encompass your intentions for the year ahead. You want it to be your focus, your reminder to be your best self for the year. Your reminder to walk your own unique destined path to help heal the collective and the souls you find on your travels. Perhaps your word will come to you in a flash of inspiration or maybe you keep seeing it pop up as you go about your day. It might come to you quickly or it might be more slowly – you will know when you know. Just follow that intuition, trust yourself, and choose YOUR word. Then set your goals and reach for the stars! Just remember that 2025 can only be better if you choose to make it better. You have to put in the effort to make this year the most magical, and best one yet! What is your new word of the year? Come join me on Facebook or patreon and let me know or comment below!

Come join me the first Saturday of January to revolutionize how you set your goals for 2025. Let me show you hand in hand how to create my personal development plan. You will leave with your entire years worth of SMART goals planned, a way to keep yourself accountable, and have a clear path on how you meet every goal you set. https://www.paypal.com/ncp/payment/4ZKQ6FXMUGGEJ

Have you been feeling stuck, emotionally unstable, missing joy in your life, or having a hard time connecting to yourself and your magic? Do you want to start the new year from a different headspace? I have the answer for you to start out this new year from a place feeling grounded, present, and ready to manifest your dream life. Come join me for this special one time only two day event teaching you how to integrate the practice of Mindfulness to your magic and life!

What is mindfulness? Mindfulness is the practice of purposely bringing one’s attention to the present moment without judgment. It allows you to move from just existing in life to thriving, get back to wise mind, create a place to heal and grow in, and most important of all, align you with joy while creating a life where you truly thrive! This skill is a core skill in DBT, the therapy that changed my life! To register for this special two day event visit the link below! https://www.paypal.com/ncp/payment/JY5UBMB2TA27L

Posted on 2 Comments

Reframe your perspective with a 7 day Gratitude challenge

During fall the energy and essence of gratitude is in the air all around us as we watch the fields being harvested with the bounty from the land and making it’s way to our tables for gathered meals as we give thanks with our families in November and December. This time of gratitude has me thinking of the importance and significance of cultivating a mindset of gratitude in my life. Cultivating a mindset of gratitude is a powerful tool to realign our thoughts and energies and allow us to live life from a state of wise mind and duality. When you practice gratitude you are building a deeper connection with yourself. You are committing to self-awareness, self-reflection, and self-compassion and these are essential tools for supporting your personal growth, mental health and overall well-being. As the saying goes, “What consumes your mind, controls your life.” So why not let gratitude consume our minds and dictate the course of our lives? By shifting your focus to positivity, gratitude not only improves your mental health and self-esteem but also enhances relationships and boosts overall well-being. Learn how practicing gratitude can transform your perspective, leading to a happier, more fulfilled life .Discover the life-changing benefits of gratitude with this 7 day gratitude challenge in this blogpost today!

What is gratitude?

Thankfulness, gratitude, and appreciation are all deeply connected, simply they all mean expressing the pleasant feeling of being thankful and appreciative for something one has received. The word gratitude comes from the Latin word gratus, which means “grateful, pleasant”. Not only is it something we feel and experience but, it is a tool we can use to reframe our perspective. Using gratitude as a tool allows you to shift your focus. From what you believe your reality is towards what you want your reality to be. They are both very real, but you choose to prioritize one over the other.

The Science behind gratitude

It turns out, the benefits of gratitude aren’t just motivational fluff you see on social media everywhere. Scientists have actually shown that gratitude can physically change your brain. This research made me realize that the mind’s ability to “rewire” itself—known as neuroplasticity (A term I Learned while in DBT) —plays a big role here. When we practice gratitude regularly, it strengthens certain neural pathways, just like exercising a muscle. In fact, gratitude activates regions in our brain linked to pleasure, reward, and emotional regulation, including the prefrontal cortex and the hypothalamus. Let’s dig into a bit of it now!

Practicing gratitude effects our brains by stimulating the production of dopamine (a chemical messenger (neurostransmitter) that works in the brain. It helps nerve cells send messages to each other. When dopamine is released in the brain, we feel a sense of temporary pleasure) and serotonin (another messenger which creates a long-lasting feeling of happiness or wellbeing), often referred to as the “feel-good neurotransmitters. These chemicals play a vital role in regulating mood and emotions. By regularly expressing gratitude through different ways in our lives, we essentially train our brains to produce more of these beneficial chemicals!

Researchers have discovered that expressing gratitude can also trigger the release of oxytocin, the hormone responsible for strengthening social bonds and creating feelings of trust and connection. So practicing gratitude not only improves our relationship with ourselves, but also enhances our ability to build and maintain meaningful connections with others and ourselves.

Historical Significance of Gratitude

Historically, the concept of gratitude isn’t new. Many ancient cultures emphasized the importance of thankfulness in their traditions and rituals. For example, the ancient Romans celebrated a festival called “Lectisternium” where they expressed gratitude to their gods for their blessings. The festival of Setsubun central in Japan and Shintoism is a time when they give thanks to the kami and the land for the spring and fertility to come. Plus pagans have many, many holidays centered around gratitude and giving thanks like Mabon, Samhain, Beltane, Hekate’s night, and so on! Honestly there are too many holidays centered on giving thanks to name. Similarly, every religion has holidays, and festivals that are centered around the act of giving thanks, We even have holidays centered around cultural and country specific reasons to give thanks like Thanksgiving in the USA, highlighting its timeless significance to our human existence.

Benefits to practicing gratitude

By dedicating just a few minutes each day to this practice, you can begin to experience a shift in your perspective. You’ll start to notice and appreciate the small joys that make life special, from a sunny day to a kind gesture from a stranger. Ultimately, this simple act of focusing on gratitude for a small pocket of time can lead to profound changes in your mindset and overall well-being like some of the benefits we will explore more below.

Gratitude aligns your with the flow of abundance

When we acknowledge and appreciate the blessings, big or small, that surround us, we invite abundance into our lives. Gratitude shifts our focus from what is lacking to what is plentiful, fostering a sense of contentment and fulfillment allowing us to enter into the flow of abundance. Once in the flow, we are able to connect to the generosity of the multiverse and have all of our needs met.

Gratitude creates a life attracting positivity

Practicing gratitude not only has a positive impact on our mental and emotional well-being but also attracts more positivity into our existence. By expressing thanks for the opportunities, relationships, and experiences we have encountered along our journey, we create space for greater joy and success to manifest. Embracing a mindset of gratitude transforms challenges into valuable lessons and setbacks into steppingstones toward growth and achievement.

Focusing on gratitude builds resilience

Gratitude and having a daily practice focused on it, can help individuals build resilience by encouraging them to find silver lining in challenging situations. When you’re able to see the good even in difficult times, you become more emotionally resilient and better equipped to cope with problems or life changing events as they arise. By acknowledging and appreciating the good, you develop a more balanced perspective, making it easier to cope with challenges by allowing you to access wise mind and use the DBT skills that will be the most effective.

Gratitude reframes our perspective

By focusing more on a habit of gratitude, you learn to reframe your thinking and concentrate on the positive aspects of your life. Our brains have a natural tendency to dwell on negativity, a phenomenon known as the negativity bias. It is an evolutionary survival mechanism that once served a purpose but can now hinder our well-being. In our day and age we don’t always have to be on alert for dangers in the wild to be able to survive and provide for our families. Of course we have a new set of issues nowadays, but our bodies do not have to constantly be in fight or flight mode. By consciously redirecting our attention towards gratitude, we counteract this bias and retrain our brains to notice and appreciate the good things around us. This shift in perspective can significantly improve mental well-being.

Gratitude helps us heal from childhood trauma, abuse, and pain

Learning how to practice gratitude after childhood trauma can help in your healing journey immensely by helping you reach radical acceptance. I know how hard it may seem to practice gratitude, especially when you’ve experienced childhood abuse and trauma. It’s hard to be grateful when we’re born into an unloving home with toxic or abusive parents that makes us doubt our self worth. It seems insensitive or perhaps even offensive to suggest. However, the benefits of gratitude, and practicing gratitude can help with healing from trauma. Also, gratitude doesn’t mean ignoring the fact that bad things did and do happen. It’s possible to feel grateful yet still find that life’s hard sometimes. It isn’t easy, but it can make a difference.

Other benefits of practicing gratitude

  • Feeling grounded, especially during challenging times
  • Boosting your mental health and well-being
  • Allowing your mind to focus on the positive things
  • Making you more optimistic
  • Developing a new-found appreciation for the simple things
  • Cultivating a healthy work-life balance
  • Relieving stress and overwhelm
  • Decreasing anxiety and depression
  • Fewer physical symptoms of illness
  • Forming a deeper connection with yourself, your surroundings and others

Ways to connect to Gratitude

Gratitude has more power to make our lives happier and healthier than we have ever imagined. Spending a little time each day to practice gratitude makes you consciously and intentionally focus on becoming more grateful for everything around you. It is also a great way to practice being more mindful and helping you shape a reality where you thrive. Feeling and expressing gratitude changed my life. I have more confidence in myself and I see people and situations in my life more compassionately. I have more peace of mind than ever before and I’m more certain that I can design the life I want for myself while maintaining wise mind and duality.

Discover some simple and powerful gratitude rituals below to transform your daily routine and boost your mental well-being. These easy gratitude practices help cultivate mindfulness, positivity, and emotional resilience. Whether you’re new to gratitude practices or looking to deepen your daily routine, these rituals are perfect for anyone seeking peace, happiness, and a life where you thrive in wise mind. Start and/or end your day with a grateful heart and watch how your mindset shifts. When you practice gratitude, it becomes part of all areas of your life. Join me on this 7 day gratitude challenge below and watch your reality become what you truly want and your perspective be reframed.

1.Keep a Daily Gratitude journal

Gratitude means, “the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.” So to practice gratitude is to show your own appreciation of things. Either in your head, out loud or on paper. The most popular form of practicing gratitude comes with journaling and keeping a daily gratitude journal. A gratitude journal is more than just a diary; it’s a dedicated space where you regularly record things you’re thankful for. This simple yet profound practice encourages you to focus on the positive aspects of your life, no matter how small or insignificant they may seem. By doing so, you train your mind to see the good in everyday situations, fostering a more optimistic outlook on life.

So, for day 1 of this gratitude challenge we are going to start are very own daily gratitude journal practice. When you do this find a quiet place you can sit down and simply answer the questions below, Writing down the things, people, surroundings, etc, you are grateful for at that exact moment as you reflect on your day. Try to do your best to make this part of your daily routine from here on out. Here is a link to this gratitude journal for you to download and use as many times as you would like too!

2. Create a gratitude list through a brain dump

For day 2 of this challenge to help us reframe our life with gratitude, we will focus on getting a bigger picture of the things in our life we have to be grateful for. Doing this allows us to reframe our perspective even wider looking past just the day we had today to further beyond. Today’s challenge task is an easy one – make a list of everything you’re grateful for. You have wonderful things in your life already. It’s up to you to notice it. Think about everything you currently have going on in your life (or don’t have going on – in a good way). Take a moment to reflect on these blessings. There is nothing too small for you to be grateful for. You can be grateful for that cup of hot tea you get to enjoy every morning, that playtime with your child, your cat purring as they lay sleeping near by… List everything you can think of in a journal for you to see in one place. Allowing it all to sink in. Each and every single thing you have to be grateful for in your life as a whole.

3.Create a gratitude Jar

For day 3 of this challenge to help us reframe our life with gratitude, we will focus on that bigger picture again. While creating a way for us to come back to it in times of doubt or hardship when we need a little reminder of what we have to be grateful for. We will do this by creating a gratitude jar. So, what is a gratitude jar? A gratitude jar is a manifestation exercise where you add notes of gratitude to a container of your choice. Now, there are a few ways to use this tool of gratitude and a few ways to make it, First way you can choose is to take the list you made in day 2 of this challenge and either cut it into smaller pieces. Or write each thing written there onto sticky notes or smaller cut pieces of paper. Then you can take those pieces place them inside a jar, and leave it in your home somewhere you can see it. That way when you have moments of doubts when you are thinking life is too dark and you can’t go on because you have nothing to hold on for, you can pull as many of those little papers out. Then read them to help you reframe your unwanted and emotional thoughts.

The other option for how you can make this tool today and start using it to reframe your perspective brings more attention to your gratitude practice each day. Take one piece of paper and sit down and think of something that happened or someone who made your day worth being grateful for today. Once you have that in mind write in on your piece of paper then place it inside your jar, coming back every single day to do the same thing. Then whenever you would like come back and open your jar to read all the things you took the time each day to write down you were grateful for. You can go back in a week, at the end of the month, or what is common is to to wait until the end of the year on New Year’s Eve. Don’t forget either you can get creative and decorate your gratitude jar in any way you want as well bringing more joy to this daily practice of gratitude.

4. Express thanks to others in your life

For day 4 of this challenge to help us reframe our life with gratitude is to focus on expressing thanks to others in our life. Think about people that have done something for you at any point in your life. It can be today, yesterday, or even decades ago. Typically, people are grateful for their parents, guardians, caregivers, other family members, spouses, children, and friends. Let me remind you though that you don’t have to be grateful for people who have hurt you, even out of obligation or blood ties. (unless you want to be). So, think about those in your life that have held you up, supported you, and allowed you to grow into the beautiful human that you are. Then find a way to express your gratitude and thanks to them and do it. Whether that be by sending them a random text, getting them a card, or by giving them a gift. Do little and big things for them as they’d do for you. Spend quality time with loved ones. Connect and bond. Savor the moments you get to spend together. Don’t take any of it for granted because you never know how much time you have left with someone. So cherish it while you can. The goal is to make sure they feel your appreciation and how much your think they are truly worth. But, remember a simple “thank you” is usually enough for those who support you with their love. Plus it could also be a small act of kindness to brighten up someone’s otherwise dark day.

5. Prioritize and practice self care

When you practice gratitude you promote self care and end up prioritizing yourself. Because when you practice gratitude you are building a deeper connection with yourself. You are committing to self-awareness, self-reflection, and self-compassion and these are essential tools for supporting your personal growth, mental health and overall well-being. It allows you to truly connect with yourself on a raw, wholehearted level and changes your perspective on things. So, for day 5 of this gratitude challenge I want you to pick an activity that you consider self care and you are grateful you have the ability to do today. Then be as mindful and present as you can while you enjoy and soak up the time of self care you have today. Take in and notice how when you focus on self care it allows you to connect to parts of yourself and things you have to be grateful for in your life. For me when I slow down and focus on me it really allows me to open my eyes, and reframe what I see. Opening me up to more that I have to be grateful and thankful for. To learn more about self care and how vital that is in your life and how it promotes self love as well as gratitude click the link to read my guide here.

6. Spread gratitude through acts of kindness

For day 6 of this gratitude challenge we are going to use a little bit of DBT and bring our focus to gratitude by spreading it to someone else. Sometimes it’s hard to see what we can be grateful for because of life circumstances or our mental sate. If you are having a hard time in life or you are feeling anxious and/or depressed seeing things you can be grateful for may be clouded or something you simply don’t want to do. So, today we are going to use opposite action if we need to and instead of focusing on what we don’t have or what we have lost get out and spread kindness to bring us something to be grateful for. That feeling in our heart that glows and brings us joy plus the smile on the other person’s face is more then enough to be grateful for today.

For day 5 of the challenge today get out and give yourself something to be grateful for by being kind to others today. Spend 30 minutes doing something kind for someone else. This can be something extremely small like leaving a note on their doorstep, sending an email to thank them for all they do, making breakfast for someone, or volunteering your time. Do whatever it is that comes from the heart and makes you feel good inside.

7. Use affirmations of gratitude

For the last and final day of this challenge we are going to use simple yet very affective tool; gratitude affirmations. Gratitude affirmations are a simple tool you can use daily to help you see the beauty that life has to offer. So what are gratitude affirmations? Gratitude affirmations are positive statements that you repeat regularly to stay in wise mind and cultivate a mindset of gratitude. There are so many ways you can use gratitude affirmations in your life. For day 7 of this challenge pick one of the ways you feel called to use them below. Then pick some of the affirmations in the graphic to begin using today. I personally love to say mine out loud when I wake up in the morning and before I close my eyes at night.

  • Write them in your journal
  • Choose a new affirmation for each day of the week, then write it on a post-it note to keep by your desk
  • Choose 3 affirmations to focus on each day and say them out loud to yourself
  • Set up automated reminders on your phone so you get notified with an affirmation or multiple affirmations throughout the day
  • Get creative and draw or write an affirmation in your bullet journal

8. Bonus- Shadow work prompts for deepening your gratitude through journaling

Shadow work through journaling focused on gratitude and what we have to be grateful for can bring about a greater sense of contentment. It encourages you to see the glass as half full, which can have a profound impact on your attitudes and overall perspective of life. It brings you to a place where you are able to let of of fear and meet yourself and your life fully. When we journal and do shadow work based on gratitude it helps you become aware of all the goodness in your life. Even the things you may not see as things to be grateful for right now because they live deep within the shadows of your heart. If you would like to learn more about shadow work you can purchase my eBook here; you can book me for a 1:1 session as your guide here; and you can watch my free class previously taught on it through Divination here.

If you want to deepen your journey with gratitude beyond this challenge you can access these bonus shadow work prompts in my FREE shadow work journal here!

Final Thoughts


Showing appreciation for things doesn’t always look like journaling or making a gratitude list. Sometimes it can be as simple as making a language shift. So instead of saying “I have to do this” and feeling resentful or unexcited, change it to “I get to do this” for an instant positive mindset shift. Remember, you don’t “have” to do anything. No one is forcing you. You are the one in control of the choices you make. You “get” to do what you want to do, so feel excited and grateful for these opportunities and life you get to live each and every day.

Don’t forget to also be grateful for yourself! During this gratitude challenge make sure when you go through each day to include things that are only about you. Being grateful for yourself or anything about you is probably one of the hardest things to be grateful for. I know as a childhood abuse and trauma survivor it is for myself. So, if that is please make sure to make this part a priority. No matter how you feel about yourself or how someone else made you feel. There IS something about yourself that you can find to be grateful for. You just have to look for it. Use this challenge to find it and bring it to light in appreciation.

It’s true what they say: gratitude really does have the power to transform your world. Give it a try, and you might just find yourself, like me, realizing that gratitude was one of the missing pieces all along.

Posted on

Take control of your self worth; 7 day challenge to redefine and boost your self worth

We spend so much of our time and lives seeking validation from outside sources. When validation is the most powerful coming from within. It allows us to step into our own power and build our feelings of self worth, self love, and confidence. Self worth and how we feel about ourselves will affect every area of our lives from how we show up for others, how we manifest, and the power of our magic. The importance of looking inward for approval and validation can’t be overstated when it comes to building an intentional life that is meaningful and fulfilling to you. So stop outsourcing your happiness and give this responsibility to the only person who is truly equipped for the job. YOU! Take control of your feelings of worthiness, love and confidence back into your own hands by using this 7 day challenge.

Before we get into the different ways to work on your self-worth, I want to share that I am not a therapist, but I am sharing the work I have personally done when going through cognitive behavioral therapy and Dialectical behavior therapy. These are the tools I’ve used that have helped me work on my own self-worth. Something I have struggled with quite a lot over the years and still sometimes do. Because, I am intimately aware, that many of us are broken people with broken parents from broken homes in a broken world. Trying to make something beautiful and move from a place of just surviving to thriving and being whole. We’re thrust into life without many of the tools for living, and it’s not that those tools don’t exist, but we just don’t have the time, energy, or means always to get access to them. Allow this 7 day challenge to help you bridge the gap and do just that.

What is self worth?

Self-worth is the belief that you are loveable and valuable regardless of how you evaluate your traits. Self-worth is often confused with self-esteem, which relies on external factors such as successes and achievements to define worth and can often be inconsistent leading to someone struggling with feeling worthy. When you think about it, your self-esteem could hit rock bottom, yet you still hold onto the notion that you have innate worth. Self-worth is at the core of our very selves—our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are intimately tied into how we view our worthiness and value as human beings. Self- worth really is a gauge of how much you value, love, and respect yourself.

People with healthy self-worth tend to have greater self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-love. People with high self-worth carry with them a sense of confidence that they will be all right and manage whatever comes their way. They have the ability to live with purpose, intention, and it is much easier to manage their logic and emotions to stay in wise mind. While they are aware of areas in which they can improve, they don’t let their shortcomings or weaknesses define their identity. They are not afraid to pursue opportunities and have reasonable faith in their ability to deliver while pursing their wildest dreams.

What is Self-Validation?

Self-validation involves acknowledging and accepting your strengths, achievements, positive attributes, and emotions. It also involves knowing that having imperfections and making mistakes does not take away from your worth or value. We cant rely on others to make us feel good. When we do, we allow others to dictate our worth. And we don’t trust our own thoughts, feelings, and judgments; we assume others know more than we do and their opinions matter more. Instead, we need to learn how to validate ourselves. Self-validation is a distinctive DBT skill that focuses on accepting the emotions you are experiencing. If you have trouble regulating your emotions, then you probably have a hard time accepting them in the first place as well. Learning to self-validate your emotions will help you cope with the overwhelming emotions we may have, while also allowing you to build up self worth.

Steps for validating yourself

  • Notice how you feel and what you need.
  • Accept your feelings and needs without judgment.
  • Don’t over-identify with your feelings. We want to accept our feelings and also remember that they don’t define us. Notice the subtle, but important, difference when you say I feel angry vs. I am angry or I feel jealous vs. I am jealous. Our feelings are temporary they come and go.
  • Remember, practice is an important part of learning self-validation!

Make sure your self validation looks like:

  • Encouraging yourself
  • Acknowledging your strengths, successes, progress, and effort
  • Noticing and accepting your feelings
  • Prioritizing your needs
  • Treating yourself with kindness
  • Saying nice things to yourself
  • Accepting your limitations, flaws, and mistakes

7 day challenge to redefine and boost your self worth

There are things you can do to boost your sense of self-worth and ensure that you value yourself like you ought to be valued; as a full, complete, and wonderful human being that is deserving of love and respect, no matter what. Take control of your feelings of worthiness, love and confidence back into your own hands by using this 7 day challenge to help assess, redefine, and boost your self worth.

1.Become aware
The very best thing you can do for yourself is to learn how to become more aware of your thoughts and how they affect your feelings. Our thoughts are incredibly powerful and how we decide to see an event or situation becomes our reality. This is the first step in learning how to validate yourself. You want to start the process of recognizing your thoughts, so you can stop the negativity and reframe how you see a situation, person, or event. Reframing or looking at something differently is what you are doing when you validate yourself. You are asking yourself to stop mentally beating yourself up and start appreciating the things you do well. You are recognizing the ways you are growing as a person and giving yourself the kindness you deserve.

How you can do this today, is by taking a sheet of paper and at the very top writing ” Times I invalidated myself today”. Now, throughout the day keep this paper always by your side and make a tally for each time you invalidate yourself whether out loud or in your mind. If you notice a certain thought pattern, emotion, or phrase coming up repeatedly take note of what it is on the page. Than at the end of the day sit with this page and look at how many times you tore yourself down when you could have built yourself up instead. Give yourself the warmest and most compassionate hug apologizing for forcing your mind to be fixated in place of judgement, pain, and despair. Let yourself know you understand why they may have lashed out or reacted in pain during the day. Than make yourself a promise that you will be more aware of what you think, believe and say to yourself each and every day. Starting by showing up for day two of this challenge tomorrow.

2. Accept that you need acceptance
The next step to building up our self worth through validation, is radically accepting that no matter how much we think we don’t care, we all need to feel accepted and loved. I don’t care who you are, where you are from, or how resilient you think you are. Being accepted and feeling like you belong is incredibly powerful and something we all long for. Essentially, it’s part of our DNA being something we are searching for from the moment of our births. We have to be accepted in order to survive. we need to be accepted and cared for by the people around us. At the same time, we must recognize we won’t always get that acceptance in the way we need it or the way we want it. Which means it’s on each of us to love and accept ourselves. To be the ones that can truly fulfill that need no matter where we end up or how alone we are. In order to start the process of validating yourself, you have to start the process of loving and accepting yourself wholly without judgement. That means all parts of yourself, including your thoughts, emotions, actions, opinions, and values.

How you can do this today, is by spending some time doing some brain dumping and journaling focusing on your strengths and weaknesses. This allows you to spend some time with really getting to look at each part of yourself. When you do this you are able to than validate each part of yourself by reframing your thinking and looking at it from another perspective. Seeing how those things you view as weaknesses have actually been hidden gems of resilience and pieces that make us who we are. So, those things that you have listed in the weaknesses column will be moved to the strength column with acceptance, validation, and love.

3. Do the inner work to assess how you currently view your worth

One of the most crucial steps to working on your self worth, is doing the hard and intentional work of assessing how you actually value yourself right now and what you view is your self worth. Depending on where you are at on your journey of healing, self discovery, and inner work this may be a really uncomfortable day for you. This is when you sit down alone, in a quiet, calm and sacred container where you can go deep within your heart. To really ask yourself how much do you value yourself, what is your worth, and why is it at the place it is at?

How you can do this today, is by doing some shadow work. Self discovery is the ultimate goal of shadow work and shadow work prompts are an ideal way to get to the root of your shadow. You can choose different parts of yourself and your shadow to work with each time you delve into the darkness of your soul with shadow work. So, take some time today to use the prompts below to really assess how you truly value yourself. Doing so will allow you to know how much reframing around your self worth may need to happen and provide you with a path to take to boost it to be as high as it can be.

If you would like guided 1:1 help with this you can book me for private shadow sessions in the shop!

4. Don’t Listen to all of your thoughts
The next step to building up our self worth through validation, is understanding that you don’t need to listen to every single one of your thoughts. A common expression I heard throughout DBT that stuck with me was, “Just because you have a thought, it doesn’t make it true.” We have 30,000 to 50,000 thoughts a day and research has shown that about 80% of our thoughts are either regrets from the past or fears about the future. Making a huge chunk of our thoughts based not in facts but simply assumptions and emotions. Which means our thoughts aren’t always completely reliable or truthful.

When you validate yourself, you’re asking yourself, “What else can be true?” The act of validation is about looking at a situation and thinking, “OK, this didn’t go as planned. I made a mistake and now I have to decide how I’m going to think about this situation to radically accept and move on.” In that moment, you can beat yourself up and break yourself down or you can challenge your thoughts and decide to ask yourself, “What else can be true?” “What else can I see or learn?” ” What am I responding to emotions, assumptions, or facts?”

How you can do this today is, by taking the time to mindfully sit with a situation you’ve recently reacted to in a way of anger, pain, or hurt. Look back on the situation and think about it from a perspective you may have missed in those moments by checking the facts. Doing this allows you to identify what was emotion and what was fact you were reacting you to. Giving you the ability to validate your reactions while also looking for the places where you can change how you reacted.

5. Speak words of validation to yourself out loud

When was the last time you validated yourself? I am referring to positively recognizing your thoughts, emotions or actions. When was the last time you took a moment to stop the negative chatter in your mind? Stop waiting to hear the positive words, praise or encouragement you’re craving. Tell it to yourself because you’re the only person you have complete control over.

How you can do this today, is by literally revamping your self talk and speaking words of validation out loud to yourself. You can do this anywhere you would like and whenever you would like. I find it the most helpful for myself to speak words of validation out loud to myself in the morning when I wake, when I go to bed, and than anytime throughout the day when I catch myself speaking to myself in an unkind way. I’ll even do it before a big conversation, event, or social outing.

6. Stop people pleasing and set boundaries

We are so conditioned to believe that our value is tied up in what we give instead of who we are. Many of us like myself are taught, self-worth is all about whether or not you are making someone else happy, by doing them a service or giving them things they want. This is what determines whether you’re good enough, you matter, and deserve to be loved. But, after living most of my life as a chronic people pleaser, turning that need into anxiety so extreme it became OCD. I have learned that finding your value in other people will always leave you feeling less than what your true worth is really meant to be.

How you can do this today, is by setting boundaries for yourself or saying no to something today. It’s okay to say no, to set boundaries, it doesn’t make you a selfish or bad person. You’re allowed to give what you receive. You’re allowed to form relationships where it’s give-give instead of give-take. You are allowed to say no. You are allowed to say “I can’t right now.” and most shocking of all; you are allowed to form the opinion that some people do not deserve your help

You do not have to give and give until there’s nothing left. Seek the people who fill you up, who reciprocate what you give, and who respect the boundaries that you make. Take all of that endless love and compassion and time and money that you are always giving other people, and turn a little bit toward yourself. See how good that feels. Don’t chase that feeling of worthiness from other people when you are so capable of filling yourself up and finding others who will appreciate you and respect your boundaries.

7.Determine your definition of self worth

Self-worth is a subjective concept that can fluctuate based on many variables, says Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University. Which means it’s important for us to determine how we ourselves define our own self worth. According to Dr. Romanoff, these are some of the factors that may influence self-worth:

Core beliefs and values
Thoughts and feelings
Emotions and mental well-being
Experiences and interactions with others
Relationships, both past and present
Health and physical fitness
Career and profession
Activities and hobbies
Community and social status
Financial position
Physical appearance
Childhood experiences

How you can do this today, is by taking the time to sit and mindfully reflect and honestly answer what factors are you using to determine your self worth? Then take the next step to release and let go of things that you are misplacing your value in like what others think of you, the amount of money you have, or your physical appearance.

Wrap Up

It’s important to have self-worth because it impacts everything you do from your relationships, to how you work, how you feel about yourself, and how others view you. Remember, self-worth, is based on your strengths, flaws, and who you truly are at your core when accomplishments, possessions, and acquisitions are stripped away. While it’s fantastic to be proud of your accomplishments and good to be aware of how others perceive you, a sense of self-worth is a vital part of a healthy and thriving existence. Your inherent value as a person does not stem from your accomplishments or what others think of you Ultimately remember You are the only one who determines your self-worth. If you believe you are worthy and valuable, you are worthy and valuable. Even if you don’t believe you are worthy and valuable, guess what—you still are worthy and valuable!

Posted on

A Letter looking up From Rock Bottom

As I felt the life shattering affect of the impact when you hit rock bottom recently; I was reminded of many things. These things I’d Like to write in this letter for myself to remember when I most likely will hit the bottom again and for you. To let you know, you are not alone, to help you shift perspective for survival, and to introduce you to what I believe is your soul.

As I write this, I am still sitting at the bottom of the mountain, after being violently shoved down it. As I tumbled down the slope hitting boulders, ledges, and shrubbery along the way adding more damage with each shocking impact. I sank deeper and deeper into the feelings of despair, hopelessness, and defeat.

When my body, heart, and spirit felt like it quite literally couldn’t take anymore I landed at the bottom of the mountain as a shattered mess, barely breathing, with what I thought was no will left to survive.

When my breathing was ragged, my body was bruised, bones were broken, and my spirit was shattered laying in the dirt with a river of tears streaming by I came face to face with the best part of myself.

The part of myself that is the foundation of who I am. The core of who I am. The tiny bit of myself that has nothing left but the will to fight and survive. The part of myself that can’t be broken down any further. No matter the amount of pressure applied. The part of myself that will drag myself back up no matter how much I am hurt. The part of myself that will adapt to any environment I’m thrown in.

And this tiny bit of myself that I get to be face to face with as I lay broken down, shattered, barely breathing at the bottom of the mountain; I believe may just really be my soul.

Sitting there face to face with my soul at the bottom of the mountain battered, bruised, and broken gave me the companion and the ability to go within and shift my perspective.

A shifting perspective when I landed and got over the shock of the impact was one of the only ways that allowed me to survive and attempt to climb that mountain again.

My soul guiding me to shift my perspective allowed me to truly see my circumstances clearly for what they were.
While I couldn’t change my circumstances. I was hurt, barely breathing, short on hope at the bottom of a mountain, nothing was going to change that anytime soon. But….

I could change my view on them.
I could change how I felt about them.
I could change how I was going to let them affect me.
I could change the lesson they would teach me.
I could change my entire perspective on the path I was going to climb once I was healed and ready to try again
I could take it in and remember that when life seems like its just completely falling apart.

When it feels like you won’t be able to take in one more painful, ragged breath. This mountain you fell down, that shove you were given, every bruise and broken bone you collected as you fell, is just life and the multiverse breaking you to rebuild you into what you were always meant to be.

It’s life showing you another path you should have taken up the mountain instead.

When I shifted my perspective it allowed me to see the potential for growth instead of only the damage I had taken on the fall down.

It gave me the ability to grab the hand of my soul, go deep within and allow the mirror of my shadow to replay the path I had previously attempted and where the fall down the mountain had begun.

Once, my perspective was able to shift the tiny ember of fight, fire, and passion that I didn’t realize had still survived the fall was lit by the warmth of my soul and used to start to rebuild the foundation of who I will be once I completely heal.

That tiny ember of fire being held and cared for by my soul would be the thing that allowed me to survive. And survival was all I could focus on as I looked up laying at the bottom of the mountain. The next breath, the next minute, the next hour, and the next day was what my body, heart, and soul could promise to live for.

I reminded myself that when you are broken, and struggling to breath through the pain it’s okay if survival is all you can focus on. It’s okay if the pain is all you can feel and see. Pain means you are still alive.

It’s okay if survival mode is where you need to be right now, to make sure you keep taking your next breath. Survival mode exists for these times and moments to push us to keep going after we take so much damage we aren’t sure how we will continue on.

Use this time laying at the bottom of the mountain bruised and broken with your soul to shift your perspective, look for a different path you can take on the next climb up, and to allow yourself to heal itself in a whole new way.

Posted on 1 Comment

Why Coming Out As A Bisexual Woman, In A Hetero Or Straight Appearing Relationship Was Hard

This month(June) kicks off LGBT PRIDE month! Pride month is a month dedicated to the celebration and commemoration of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender pride.

Those who identify as bisexual are among those to be included this pride month. But, bisexual people often exist in a grey area, simultaneously ostracized by the LGBTQ+ community as not “gay enough” and heterosexual people as not “straight enough.” Others tell them they are just confused, it was or is a phase, and the even more harsh to here from both communities; it’s not real and all for attention. That may explain why, according to one recent study, most bisexual people say their friends and family don’t know their sexuality.

Coming out as bisexual was a very difficult thing to do and I want to take the time to really talk about and shed light on the whys especially on the fact that we struggle to fit into either community, our identities are questioned often, and how if we are in a hetero or straight appearing relationship it diminishes our identities as bisexuals and/or ostracize us from communities.

I used to be one of those in the most category we talked about earlier in the survey. Until 3 years ago a combination between a new type of therapy and Pride month, allowed me to finally open up about my sexuality, my past, and how much being in the closet was really affecting me. I hadn’t expressed to anyone my sexualtiy not even to my husband who at the time I had been with for a decade. No one knew about my brief relationship with a girl in middle school and high school, my sexual hookups with girls, and the deep feelings of sexual attraction and desire for many of my deep friendships growing up.

People were surprised to say the least, and many didn’t believe me and said or asked quite a handful of hurtful things. I had always been in hetero or straight passing relationships in public and I ended up married in one even. It made it even harder for me since I met my husband so young, and have been together for 13 years now as I write this. Like I said, I hadn’t even discussed it with my husband until he was the first one I came out to right before my cousin and best friend. On top of that, I didn’t come out until I was almost 30 years old, at that point many asked me why it mattered now, including myself.

But, the longer I was in the closet and not public and vocal about my identity; the more I didn’t feel authentic. The more I didn’t feel honest. The more I didn’t feel whole. The more I had actually started to have some guilt in my marriage and resentment as well. And I had reached a point that I needed to figure out why I was so afraid to openly express my sexuality when I was usually so authentic about every other area of my life.

There were three huge reasons I had come up with while in reflection. The first was my hetero or straight appearing relationship really causes a lot of issues with my sexuality. Now, this doesn’t mean my husband isn’t kind and supportive or I was worried of judgement from him. The issue is the image my relationship makes others see and how they perceive me and feel about it me in different communities because of it. From my experience your made to feel, when you are in a hetero or straight relationship you for some reason have to almost just give up and hand over identity as a bisexual. You get questions from the LGBT community and the assumptions made that you are a straight when you are seen with your partner. You get doubted and not believed from the ally or straight community as well and even told, well your married now and to a man so how can you be bisexual anymore? Again, like the whole time it was just confusion and you waiting to make an ultimate choice on your identity and you chose straight.

However, my “gay side” and my “straight side” do not compete. They coexist, regardless of my partner’s gender. This is simply my identity and it doesn’t go away because, of the gender or sexual identity of my life partner. When I really realized this myself it helped me to understand that it shouldn’t matter to myself or anyone else that my relationship appears to others as a hetero or straight relationship. I am and always will be bisexual no matter the gender or identity of the person I am married too.

The second reason it was so hard for me to come out as bisexual was the grey area I talked about in the beginning that made me feel really ostracized in either community. Listening to the way others would talk about those who were bisexual both in the hetero or straight community and in the LGBT community didn’t make it seem like a welcoming and opening space for me to be out in. To be honest I still struggle with this today. In general because of being bisexual and the having to always feel like you are defending your identity, what it means in both communities and defending yourself to be included in the safe spaces. To be questioned about the validity of it, was it phase, were you just confused, and even at times being made to feel like it’s asking for attention. AND this is coming from all sides and both communities which makes it seem like being lonely in the closet may be better than having to defend yourself from all fronts at times.

The third reason was the guilt and resentment that I had started to build up in my marriage. Most of this was my fault. My husband had never given me any reason to believe that I couldn’t be open and honest with him. For me, I just wasn’t ready to come out to anyone at all about it and that had included him for a really long time. I would make comments about my preferences in women and how I found some attractive throughout the years but, I never told him directly about my identity. Eventually I started to feel guilty for not allowing him the chance to be a safe space and also for not being fully honest with him and all parts of who I was. When the guilt got really heavy I even at times felt like I had tricked him into marrying someone he didn’t fully know and that felt wrong and unfair. Which made me had to decide what felt worse the guilt about hiding it from him or the anxiety of coming out to him?

The fourth and final reason it was hard for me to come out as bisexual was I experience straight-passing privilege because of the image my relationship portrays to others. This means that most people assume I am a straight woman in a heterosexual relationship. Which does allow me to at times not have to deal with some challenges and obstacles of those assumptions if I don’t want to. Which led to me feeling guilty and like I almost hadn’t earned the right to be in the LGBT community and in queer spaces especially since I had been in the closet for such a long time.

I eventually realized that guilt is a feeling that you invoke on yourself not others so it was time for me to deal with that on my own while remembering that it was something I needed to be aware. Because, when you let that guilt and straight-passing privilege take over it can lead to the erasing of your bisexuality whether you do it to yourself like I did by not allowing myself out the closet for so long or by others making assumptions about your identity no longer existing. I do my best to also remember it’s normal to not always feel confident in my identity. It’s okay to sometimes feel discomfort, after all sexuality is a spectrum that changes as we evolve with it.

To this day I still experience being questioned, I still have to be vocal in public spaces and openly identify myself to feel like I am not allowing straight-passing privilege to erase my bisexuality, and at times I have to still struggle with feelings of guilt when in queer safe spaces and especially during pride month it gets a spotlight shown on it. I do my best to hold onto my bisexuality though and not allow it to be erased because of my hetero or straight passing relationship. Some of the ways I do that is by trying to be vocal and open about my identity, until recently I had a flag in the front window of my home ( it will be replaced), I talk about my identity often with others, and I bring awareness to my relationship and others on my social media when I can. I attend pride events and try to be in queer safe spaces and communities and find ways to bring my bisexuality into my life through shows I watch, conversations with my husband, and into my sex life without cheating.

What I ask of you if you took the time to read about my experience this pride month is if you are bisexual and in closest I hope this helped you feel safer, and seen. I hope it let you know you are not alone and there actually is a much bigger community of others out there for you to connect with. Especially if you are in a hetero or straight appearing relationship. Since, I came out of the closet I have had more than a handful of other women confide in me they identify the same way and I guard some of their doors still. Most importantly remember being bisexual doesn’t mean you shouldn’t find safety and belong in queer safe spaces.

If you are not bisexual I ask that you remember being bisexual isn’t a phase, or confusion for someone you love if that is how they identify. Even if they end up choosing a life partner that has them appear to be in a hetero or straight appearing relationship. It doesn’t suddenly make them no longer bisexual. Please don’t try and erase that part of their identity from who they are. This pride month if they are out of the closet and vocal about it don’t forget about them. Don’t allow them to be overlooked especially if they are in a hetero or straight appearing relationship. Their existence isn’t any less valid in the LGBT community this pride month. Remind them that their relationship doesn’t make them any less valid in the LGBT community and it shouldn’t make them feel that way either or like they have to hide in the closet if they still are.

Posted on

I am not my mental illnesses, they don’t define who I am AND because, I live with them they do shape my reality

May is mental health awareness month. For many this points a spotlight on mental health and mental illnesses when they may not always think about it and they seek to learn more. While for others it may be a month to focus on improving mental health, healing, and using skills to create a life worth living while living with mental illnesses. Even yet, this month could be the push someone needed to seek help, treatment, or to go and get a diagnosis for the first time.

For myself it becomes a month focused on reflecting on how balanced I currently am, to check in with how well I am using mental health skills and techniques to maintain a healthy mental state, and to really look at my own personal relationship with my mental health and mental illnesses. While reflecting and really looking at my mental health and my relationship currently with mental illnesses this month was a little different for me than in past years because, I wanted to write about it. I have written and rewritten this post so many times this month because during my reflection process my answer would change. I would write an open letter about the illnesses I live with ( OCD, PTSD, Bipolar, BPD, and a few more) and it just wouldn’t feel whole. I would pick my favorite DBT skills to talk about this month and it wouldn’t feel like enough for bringing awareness.

So, I kept waiting, reflecting and rewriting and after a interpersonal conflict which put me in a really unbalanced and depressed state of mind. Where some things were said that were hurtful had pushed me to think about myself, my reactions, and if my view on reality were causing imbalance and unhappiness in my life. Which lead me to really think about the topic I landed on for this blogpost. The fact that I am not my mental illnesses, they don’t define who I am AND because I live with them they do shape my reality and how I experience the world.

I often forget that my mental illnesses don’t define me. I work so hard to try to raise awareness of these illnesses and how they affect your brain chemistry and makeup. I focus so much on wanting people to understand that these illnesses are not just in your head, they are real and they affect your brain chemistry and makeup. That at times I feel I almost let them become my whole identity unintentionally.

I also forget this when I start to struggle. I start to sink into the unwanted parts of my mental illnesses and I begin to believe that’s who I am and all the negative stigmas that are attached to them. When I feel overwhelmed by my symptoms, I try to remind myself that my illnesses are not me. I have to remind myself that my mental illnesses don’t disqualify me from being a mother, and that they can’t stop me from doing anything. I than remind others of the same thing once I am back to believing it, because sadly not everyone in my life agrees with this. Some believe that just having a mental illness means I shouldn’t even be mother.

While all the above is true and I work really hard to do my best to remember that and to remind others. The other half of this is recognizing that although they do not define me and who I am, my mental illnesses do shape my reality, how I experience the world, and how I interact with others. Some of the mental illnesses I have can never be “cured” and some I can’t be medicated for either. Though I can develop a healthy lifestyle based on therapeutic skills to help live a much more happy, balanced and stable life with them. They will always be apart of my life and my reality.

So, what does that mean and why does it matter? For myself I live with bipolar disorder and BPD which can cause some ping ponging on my feelings, thoughts, reactions, and even at times my beliefs. On top of that you through the extreme anxiety that comes with OCD and triggers from PTSD. This undoubtedly means my perception of reality will be affected by these things in ways others may not have to experience. On top of that it will affect how I interact with others and even with myself. This means I can’t allow myself to believe so deeply that I am not defined by my mental illnesses that I completely forget how they affect my perception and my place in this world. That I unintentionally put myself into denial of their existence and allow myself to not maintain healthy mental health and let my mental illnesses affect myself and my life in unwanted ways. This also means that when I interact with others I have to remember they may not be experiencing reality from my perception. And I ask others to do the same with me.

Whether you chose to read this because you live your life with mental illnesses or you have those in your life you love who do or simply to gain some insight and awareness. The main things I really want you to take from are the following. Living with a mental illness doesn’t define you. It doesn’t dictate who you are, who you can become or what you can accomplish. It may look a little different or you have to go a different path to get there but, they don’t dictate that at all. They don’t disqualify you from any part of a happy, thriving life you dream of. All you have to do is find the skills THAT HELP YOU achieve that. AND; still remember that you do live with them. They will affect your day to day life, how you view reality through perception and how you interact with and perceive others. Don’t allow yourself to forget that and neglect your mental health hygiene and skills and lead to unwanted effects resonating throughout the areas of your life.

Mental Health Awareness Resources
Please note that all of these resources are available at any time of day or night and are all free of charge. If you are struggling or know someone who is, please do not hesitate to reach out. These hotlines are there for the very specific purpose of helping you.

If you are having thoughts of suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be connected to a trained crisis counselor who will treat you with respect and listen to you. They can help you identify options in your area.
If texting seems more your speed, you can text NAMI to741-741. This will connect you to a trained crisis counselor. They are available 24/7.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline is also available 24/7. You can reach them at 800-799-SAFE (7233). Victims of domestic violence often suffer from depression and anxiety.
Victims of sexual assault often struggle with fear, depression, anger, and anxiety. You can reach the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673).

Favorite Sites For Mental Health Awareness
There are many great websites that focus on mental health awareness. The following are highly recommended.

National Alliance on Mental Health (NAMI)
Harvard Medical School – Has great pages focused on mental health issues
Mental Health America
National Institute of Mental Health
Active Minds – specializes in teens and young adults
Project Semicolon – dedicated to suicide prevention

If you or a loved one are struggling with any type of mental health concern, please reach out to a professional who can offer support, advice, and direction. You are not alone. Millions of other people are facing similar struggles. And millions have faced them and come through the other side wiser, stronger, and healthier. Take the time and effort this May to educated yourself and become more aware of the mental health issues in your range of influence and experience. You never know how or where you can make a difference.

The last thing I will leave you with are some mental health statistics to remind how relevant this is to each one of us!

The following statistics were found at the National Alliance on Mental Health website.

  • 1 in five American adults will experience a mental illness
  • Nearly 1 in 25 Americans live with a serious mental illness
  • 18% of American adults live with an anxiety disorder
  • Almost 7% of American adults live with major depression
  • Depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide.
  • Depression costs the U.S. $193 billion in lost earnings every year.
  • Suicide rates in the U.S. have risen 25% in the last 20 years
  • 20% of American youth (ages 13-18) have a mental health condition
  • Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death in American youth ages 10-24. It is the 10th leading cause of death for Americans overall.
  • The average delay between onset of mental health symptoms and treatment is 10 years
  • Almost 60% of American adults with a mental illness did not receive treatment in the last year.
  • Minorities are much less likely to receive treatment for mental illness
Posted on

Embrace The Transformation, Renewal, and Wealth of the 5/5 portal

Certain dates hold a special significance in the terms of celestial alignment and they create a portal through which we can access heightened energies, spiritual insights, and opportunities for growth. The 5th of May is a really important date as it is the 5th day of the 5th month of the year. This is known as the 5/5 portal. The May 5 Portal,is also known as the 5/5 Gateway or the Beltane Portal, and it occurs annually on May 5th. This date holds significance in various spiritual traditions, including astrology, numerology, and indigenous cultures as a time of heightened spiritual activity and cosmic alignment. It’s often thought that at this time, the veil between the physical and spiritual realms is thinner, putting the collective in a liminal space allowing us to access higher frequencies of energy to receive guidance, and blessings from the divine. This portal creates a powerful alignment of cosmic forces that opens a gateway to transformation, renewal, manifestation, abundance, and purpose. The energy will be ripe on 5/5, the ultimate portal of change, enlightenment, and finally seeing elements in your life “as they are” and not what you perceive. It is the portal that unlocks the door for us to begin a deep manifestation journey.

First, What is a portal?

A portal is an energetic gateway or doorway that creates a powerful opportunity to connect with higher energies. We can make the most of each portal if we work with the incoming energies and channel, anchor, and integrate them.

The importance of numbers
In numerology, every number from 0 to 9 is a symbol and is therefore highly significant. Symbols are the language of the soul and patterns of numbers work together like a code. We can use days like these to connect more fully and readily with our higher nature and choose to elevate our consciousness.

In numerology, the number 5 is considered a master of change, able to go with the flow and adapt to different environments and social situations.

The Meaning Of The 5/5 Portal

The Sun is in Taurus; the sign of prosperity and 5 is the number of money, abundance, and wealth, so this day is the perfect day to manifest everything we desire in harmony with the Universe and create the life of our absolute dreams and deepest desires. At its core, the 5/5 Portal represents a time of transformation and renewal; a chance to shed old patterns, beliefs, and energies that no longer serve us, and embrace new beginnings and possibilities. We can tap into the energies of the 5/5 Portal to initiate personal and spiritual growth, release stagnant energy, and align with our highest path and purpose.

Connecting with the Divine Feminine

In many spiritual traditions, the month of May is associated with the celebration of the divine feminine and the energies of fertility, abundance, and creativity. As we access the 5/5 Portal, we are invited to connect with the nurturing and life-giving qualities of the divine feminine, honoring the cycles of birth, growth, and renewal that are mirrored in the natural world around us.

The 5/5 Portal and Duality

Since, I am a grey witch every single energy I choose to align myself with I look for how I can connect to it in the sense of duality and balance. With this portal it may seem like, there is no way an energy swirling with abundance, wealth, manifestation, renewal, and transformation can be anything but, a wanted thing and a wanted energy? Well, every single energy we work with is dualistic and this energy is no different.

When you are making room to manifest, are setting intentions, and getting ready to receive abundance you have to release some things to allow that to even happen and to make room for that energy to be received. This can look like many things, from physically removing things in your life like habits and/or behaviors or doing inner work to release unwanted thought patterns not allowing you to receive. You also will be steeped in duality when it comes to transformation with this portal and energy. Transformation is a very dualistic energy itself. It brings you and forces you into a liminal space, where you are not who or what you once were, and you are not who or what you will be. It is taking you through the process of a death, and into a birth which is one of the most potent dualistic energies you can work with.

How To Work With Portals In General

Portal days are a prime opportunity to refocus on ourselves. Below are some ways you can do that with portals in general on portal days when they are open and active.

Listen to your gut feeling: Portal days are not the time for overthinking decisions. Instead, listen to your intuition and trust the inspirations that come to you on these days.

Movement: Energy needs to flow, so make sure you get enough exercise on portal days. For example, you could start the day with some yoga or plan a walk during your lunch break. This will ground you and sharpen your focus at the same time.

Get enough sleep: In order to be as physically and mentally prepared as possible, healthy sleep is essential. Portal days demand a lot from you, so make sure you get enough sleep or take short rest breaks in between.

Journalling and manifestation: Hold on to your thoughts and ideas by visualising them on a goal board or writing them down in your journal. This not only prevents you from forgetting them again, but also brings order to your potential chaos of thoughts.

Create rituals: Everything has a more intense effect on portal days. This includes the opportunity to create new rituals, reinforce existing ones or overhaul old ones. Rituals ensure consistency and can help us to really put our new insights into practice and integrate them permanently into our everyday lives.

How to use the 5/5 portal Specifically

The sequence of 555 denotes a time of life choices, major change, and opportunity. So, do your best to set intentions during that time. When you set an intention on 5/5 at 5:55, you can use this portal energy to your highest benefit. It’s a time of major manifestation and money magic. Below is one way you can do this on your own at the times when the portal is the most potent; 5:55 am and 5:55 pm.

Step 1: Identify what is holding you back
It is really helpful to identify any areas that are preventing abundance and prosperity to flow freely in our life. Look at what could be causing you to not fully transform, and may be causing you fear to blossom into the new version of yourself this portal is ushering you towards.

We can do this by asking questions or doing shadow work surrounding topics such as:

  • Where is my internal dialogue holding me back?
  • What limiting words and phrases am I using repeatedly in connection with money?
  • What restricting words do I use to describe my relationship with money?
  • Is my natural view of money blocking my flow?
  • Is there something or someone I am allowing to hold me back in fear?
  • Do I believe there is enough abundance for me to receive?
  • Do I believe I am worthy to receive abundance, blessings, and transformation?

If you need help with Shadow work If you would like to learn more about shadow work you can purchase my eBook here; https://www.paypal.com/instantcommerce/checkout/2S3QJZ4UPDRG6 you can book me for a 1:1 session as your guide here; https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61555318986253 and you can watch my free class previously taught on it through Divination below!


Step 2: Letting go of old beliefs
Once identified, choose to let go of this old mental patterning and beliefs. Release it and let it go. Release the past, the lower vibrations and then choose to invite in the newer, much higher vibrations to take their place.Call in your spirit guides to help you if needed or a deity if you feel called too.

Step 3: Manifest
All we need to do then….. Sit quietly out in nature or inside in your sacred container.
If you are inside, light a candle or burn incense to cleanse and purify the container.
Hold a clear Quartz crystal, a single point if you have one.
Invite and visualize the 5/5 energies flowing down from the multiverse/ cosmos and flowing down from your Crown chakra on the in-breath.
Have the intention to anchor this energy within your body.
On the out-breath visualize this energy flowing down and continuing past your Root chakra and continuing down until it is deep within Mother Earth.
Just keep breathing in and out, visualizing the incoming energies flowing down through you and then down into the Earth.
Anchoring the energies within you and then grounding them into Gaia.
You are the channel.
The energies are passing through you.
They are activating cellular light codes within you.
Focus on the light and keeping your vibration as high as possible.
Do this until you are guided to stop.

Throughout the rest of the day make sure to;

  • Drink plenty of pure water.
  • Rest if you need too!
  • Express gratitude and go for a walk
  • Draw some oracle cards or do divination
  • Journal
  • Practice self care like a ritual bath

We can ask the multiverse to help us feel safe and secure and to know that we are enough and have always been enough. By releasing all limitations that we currently have, we can bring our highest potential to this world and shine like the incredible and expansive beings of light that we truly are!

Embrace The Transformation, Renewal, and Wealth of the 5/5 portal

There are many ways to work with the 5/5 portal like, ritual,ceremony, meditation, prayer, channeling, or sacred gatherings. These practices serve to amplify our intentions, deepen our connection to the divine, and align us with the transformative energies of the portal. We can use our own unique way to honor the 5/5 Portal and embrace its gifts of renewal and transformation. Embrace this sacred time as an opportunity for growth, healing, and spiritual evolution, trusting in the guidance of the multiverse/cosmos and the wisdom of our own inner knowing/ intuition.

To connect to this portal with me during a free guided channeling and meditation session you can Join me with Divination Academy on May 5th in Facebook live! Here is the link to join me! https://www.facebook.com/events/321817077315928/

Posted on

My Son’s Birthday Isn’t Just Joy; It’s A Trauma Trigger

“The day I gave birth to my child was the happiest day of my life, I’ll never forget it.” This is a common thing I hear and read from other parents when it comes to their child’s birthday. Everytime I read or hear it, a few things happen; I get overwhelmed with guilt, my PTSD gets triggered, I get sad and many other things happen. May seem odd right? Of course, I feel happiness, joy, pride and all things that come with my child getting older but, I also get hit with a lot of unwanted things as well. Even as I write this now, I’m triggered and writing this post as a way to cope, since my son’s birthday is less than 48 hours away. So, why would I be feeling anything but, happiness, joy, excitement etc when it comes to my son’s birthday? For me, my birthing experience clouds my son’s entrance into this world with pain, trauma, and almost death, and that energy carries forward to affect what’s supposed to be a joyous day.

Let’s talk about how that can be, and ways I cope with it to allow as much joy, happiness and excitement in so I can be as mindful and present as I can be for such a special day.

Not, everyone’s birthing experience is the same

If you had a fairly easy and/or average birthing experience I am overjoyed for you and I can understand how this would make very little sense to you. But, we do not all experience pregnancy the same nor do we have the same birthing experiences. For some of us our birthing experiences become a very dark cloud full of unwanted energy, memories, and triggers.

My birthing experience was beyond painful, traumatic, involved over 42 hours of labor, metal rods placed in my cervix, my epidural being given late, and I almost died. As you can imagine, having all of that happen doesn’t make giving birth a memory my brain likes to go to often. Being reminded of my birthing story makes me relive it, causes PTSD, and a spiral of unwanted emotions that follow. I don’t think of my birthing story often but, what is going to trigger the memories of my birthing story the most? The day it happened; which also happens to be the day I am celebrating my child entering the world.

The day becomes a tug of war

I end up in this tug of war between emotions, triggers, and flashbacks. I deeply want to be mindful and present to soak up the joy, laughter and excitement of my son growing and celebrating. And yet, I get tugged and pulled to the other side. Where I am reminded of what almost dying feels like, of losing my entire family, the pain I experienced, the mental health crisis it caused my husband to go through having to watch, and the guilt I feel for the joy not outshining all of the trauma, and pain. I have moments where I simply break down and cry, where looking at my son can cause me to shake, and the shame/guilt spiral can get out of control.

So, how do I cope, center, and enjoy the day

In other PTSD-related situations, it’s advised to avoid triggers, but your own child’s birthday isn’t really avoidable and you don’t really want it to be. I dig into my tool kit of coping skills and pull out and use any and/or all of them that I need to be mindful and present.

Distraction– Sometimes your best option is to simply distract yourself and try to redirect your energy, thought, and emotions. This isn’t always my favorite option though because, it’s more of a bandaid and it does not allow you to be completely present in the joy and excitement of the day.

Use distress tolerance skills– A few distress tolerance skills are really helpful to recenter and get yourself back to wisemind especially if flashbacks are an issue. So,use the STOP skill to literally stop and take a moment. Or chose the TIPS skill to redirect your body and rewire your current thought pattern.

Acknowledge- Take the time to name it. Name what it is you are exactly feeling and/or experiencing and why. Giving a name to it give it power, and you need to know what you are feeling or dealing with in order to cope effectively.

Create a cope ahead plan– I have a cope ahead plan for this day every year. I have it written out so, I know exactly what I am going to do if I get triggered or no longer am present in the joy of the day. To learn how to create a cope ahead plan you read about it in a previous blog post here; https://modgepodgemystic.com/how-to-regain-control-of-your-life-in-one-day-after-being-overwhelmed/

Let go of judgement– Stop judging yourself and your emotions for feeling anything other than joy. All emotions are valid and serve a purpose you just have to keep them at a justifiable level. So, let go of judgement if you get triggered, need to step away for a moment, or for simply feeling what you feel.

Set aside time for mindfulness practices– Take the time to set aside your own alone time to practice mindfulness. This allows you to set yourself up for success, experience the emotions you need to fully and safely, and may lessen the amount of triggers and/or unwanted emotions you may feel.

Practice Self- care for yourself– Even though this day is suppose to be all about your child it’s okay to take some time to love yourself through self care activities as well. To help you with any triggers or unwanted emotions coming up. Giving yourself some self love allows you to have enough to give to your child on as well.

Practice Radical Acceptance– When we are triggered by trauma and events some of the most freeing work you can do is to work on radically accepting the situation and event for what it is was, and how it affects you. Doing this allows the intensity of emotions to lessen, our understanding of the situation to change, and opens up a door for healing to begin.

Wrap Up

The reality of trauma is that the body and mind can hold memories of the traumatic experience, long after the situation itself has passed. These memories can be triggered by certain sights, sounds and places, as well as dates throughout the year that are significant to the trauma in some way like our child’s birthday. So, if you notice that each year, around the time of your child’s birthday you start to feel increasingly anxious, withdrawn or emotional, or unable to sleep. Or in the lead up; you start to experience flashbacks or bad dreams. You may be experiencing a memory of trauma. Remember, don’t judge yourself, practice mindfulness, use your skills, practice self care and radical acceptance. So, you can hopefully be present and mindful for what you want to be a joyous celebration.

Posted on 5 Comments

A Guide To The Five Elements and Elemental Witchcraft

The basis of life is in the five elements. We only live and survive because of earth, air, fire, water, and spirit. The earth is beneath us, provides us shelter, stability, and nourishment. A place to call home. We breathe the air around us, it fills our lungs and our blood with life-giving oxygen. Fire gives us heat, protection, and helps us cook our food. And water? Well, we are made up of over 60% of this element and need it to survive, as well. Spirit is the magical fountain within each of us; our individual source. Within Spirit, all the basic four elements come together to work in harmony with one another. These elements are also the foundation of modern natural witchcraft.

As practitioners of magic, we understand the power and significance of the elements in our craft. Understanding the elements and their energies can help us deepen our connection with the natural world and enhance our magical abilities.

Let’s learn how to use this knowledge to enhance our magical practice and deepen our connection with the natural world. I’ll do a sequence of articles on each element. This one will serve as the introduction to the topic.

Before we begin

Before we begin, it is important to note that elemental magic is a complex form of magic that requires a deep understanding of the elements and their properties. It is essential to approach elemental magic with respect and caution. It is also important to note that this guide is intended to serve as a starting point for your elemental magic journey. It is not an exhaustive guide, and you should continue to research and learn about elemental magic as you practice it. It is also important to note that not all witches, and practitioners use the same correspondences for the elements. It can differ from person to person, practice to practice and from culture to culture.

What is Elemental Magic?

Elemental magic refers to the magic of the elements of nature: earth, air, fire, water, and spirit.. Spells and rituals will typically consist of using a single element most related to the goal of the caster. They may also contain more than one, even all of the elements like when using them to cast a magic circle, working with the watchtowers, or creating an altar. Most elemental magic requires only basic ingredients that can be found anywhere: bowls of water, stones, candles, and so on. This makes it perfect for learning the foundations of magic.

Energy

Before we dive into the elements themselves we have to touch on energy. Energy is the foundation of all elemental magic. The words and actions accompanying a spell are the least important part. The words and actions of the spell serve only to guide your focus on the energy involved. 

There are huge stores of energy in your body. You will learn to tap into this energy when doing elemental magic and to transfer it. When a spell calls for you to inscribe a rune into the dirt, the physical motion’s purpose is to help you transfer your personal energy. There is also the energy already present in each element which we will discuss later. 

 To learn more about the basics of working with energy and recognizing energy you can read all about it here; https://modgepodgemystic.com/working-with-the-basics-of-life-and-magic-energy/ 

The Five Elements

Depending on your practice and your magical journey this may not be news to you but, for others it might be. There are more than 4 elements to work with, there are at least 5! If you started your path and journey in wicca or alchemy or have studied Chinese, Japanese, Buddhist, Greek, some Indigenous north american tribes,some African tribes , and Babylonian cultures this won’t be news to you. If it is new for you we will go over the most commonly used five elements in rituals and spells; earth, air, fire, water, and spirit aka ether. 

Each of these five elements is a fundamental building block of the universe and symbolically represents the various stages or forms of matter. Each of these elements also has its own qualities and correspondences. In most if not all traditions, each element is associated with very specific correspondences and used in specific ways based on their nature.

The five elements are most often invoked during the consecration of a magic circle,  or at the very beginning of a ritual. Each element is linked to a cardinal direction. As each element is called and welcomed into the circle it is termed ‘calling the quarters’. Calling the quarters can be simple or it can be dramatic, poetic, and complex. It can work in a theme such as the human body if it is a ritual for healing or it can be written to target a specific pantheon of gods and goddesses.  The possibilities are endless! If you need to learn more about how to cast a magic circle or calling the quarters you can read all about here;  https://modgepodgemystic.com/the-magic-of-casting-a-circle/ and watch my previous class on it below.

Let’s explore the characteristics, correspondences, and how to work with  each element below.

Up First, EARTH

The earth element is powerful in so many ways. The earth is our planetary home. It is where all life abounds and is the source of our sustenance. The natural cycles of the earth are growth, harvest, decay, and regeneration. A myriad of topographical landscapes are found all over the earth complete with diverse flora and fauna. But the earth is not simply the living things that inhabit it. The earth consists of deep caves, reaching mountains, and dense forests.

 Depending on the tradition and even the individual, earth’s magical properties will vary. When the earth element means growth and grounding to one person, it may mean death and psychic abilities to another. In Wicca and other western magical traditions, it is one of the 5 major elements from which all life is sustained. The earth is inherently our mother. 

Earth embodies the embodiment of stability, grounding, and material abundance. It is the fertile soil that nurtures life, the mountains that rise with unwavering strength, and the foundation on which we build our spiritual journeys. Just as the Earth provides sustenance for all living beings, this element enables witches to manifest their desires, anchor their intentions, and connect with the physical world. It aligns us with the rhythms of nature and helps us find balance, resilience, and prosperity.

Earth is often connected with the practical aspects of life, including abundance, prosperity, physical health, and fertility. It influences our connection to the physical body and the material realm. Earth magic is especially potent for grounding and centering oneself, establishing boundaries, and bringing stability during times of chaos or emotional upheaval. By harnessing the Earth element’s energy, witches can create foundations for their intentions and manifest their desires in a tangible and grounded manner.

From a blade of grass to a mighty mountain, witches use the earth element in their magic and spiritual practice for many different purposes. In spell work, Earth is often used for grounding and centering, to make a spell stick, or to bring abundance and prosperity. So, sit with the element and follow your intuition to use the element in the way the best serves you.

Earth Folklore

When it comes to the Earth, much of the focus of our folklore focuses on how our planet was actually formed. These myths shed a great deal of light on our magical associations with the element Earth, especially in regards to rebirth, fertility, and death. The name Earth comes from the Norse goddess Jord, pronounces “yurdth,” who was a personification of Earth. While she is not an official goddess of the Norse pantheon as she was a jotnar, it is believed she coupled with Odin to bear a son known as Thor. Jord was believed to be the life force of the planet, causing trees to fruit and seeds to sprout at her touch, thus strongly associating her with fertility, birth, and new beginnings. 

Her personification was adopted by a number of cultures across Europe and eventually became known as Mother Earth or Mother Nature. Greek Mythology has a similar goddess known as Gaia. According to Greek creation myths, Gaia (the Earth) emerged from Chaos. Without assistance, she bore Uranus the Sky who then fertilized her. From this union, the Titans were born of which the Gods and Goddesses were born. As such, Gaia is the personification of Earth, the mother of all life. In Roman mythology she is referred to as Terra, meaning Earth.  In the babylonian myth earth is literally the great goddess Tiamat’s body split in  half.

 Similar myths can be found in every culture around the world, but they all have two things in common, the Earth is usually a feminine figure associated with birth and life.

Apart from creation myths, Earth also appears as the golem. According to Jewish folklore, a golem is an animated human-like creature made of mud and clay. Through ritual work, a creature could be brought to life using clay and mud to do the life-givers bidding. Some reports say to bring the golem to life, the Hebrew equivalent of the word “shem” was written on a piece of paper and placed in the golem’s mouth while other reports say “emet” which means truth was written on the forehead of the golem. To “kill” the golem the paper was removed or the last letter of the word truth was removed to turn the word into dead.

The rest of our Earth folklore focuses on ley lines, a grid of Earth energies that circle the globe that connect important sacred sites. In the British Isles, these lines were sometimes referred to as “fairy paths” and it was believed to be dangerous to walk along them for fear of being snatched by the fairies. In general, these lines not only connected sacred sites, but also certain hilltops in the countryside, and were liminal places between realms. We still view them as such today, recognizing the energy found among them is potent as well as liminal.

Earth Correspondences

First, what is a correspondence? A correspondence is an item or symbol that is meant to connect you to a specific energy thru it’s representation. It is seen also as an item to respect, honor, and venerate that energy as well whether it be a deity, an archetype energy , or to connect to an element like I will list below for you to use.

  • Gender: Feminine
  • Planet: Venus, Saturn
  • Time: Midnight
  • Season: Winter
  • Direction: North (although if the closest body of earth to you is a different direction, use that instead)
  • Tarot Cards: Pentacles, Coins
  • Zodiac: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn
  • Symbolism: Grounding, strength, healing, success, stability, sturdiness, steadfastness, foundations, empathy, fertility, death, rebirth, wisdom, nature, animals, plants, money, prosperity,
  • Symbols: Rocks, plains, soil, caves, fields, stones, trees, gardens, canyons, forests
  • Deities: Cerridwyn, Demeter, Gaia, Terra, Jord, Ceres, Rhiannon, Persephone, Epona, Ptithivi, Pan, Herne, Cernunnos, Thoth, Adonis, Tammuz, Dionysus, Athos, Mah, Nephtys, Marduk, Athos, Arawn, Cybele, Leimarel Sidabi, Opes, Proserpina, Mat Zemlya, Pachamama, Houtu, Umay, Sif, Mother Earth, Mother Nature, Geb, Asintmah, Zemes mate, Mlande, Mlande-Ava, Nerthus, Veles, Mokosh
  • Nature Spirits: Gnomes, fairies, trolls, dwarves, dryads, faun
  • Colors: Green, brown, black, gold
  • Food and Drink: Beer, vodka, whiskey, bread, salt, garlic, onions, potatoes, sweet potatoes, nuts, rice, oats, butter
  • Herbs: Oak, cedar, cypress, honeysuckle, ivy, primrose, sage, grains, patchouli, nuts, magnolia, comfrey, vetivert, moss, lilac, lichen, roots, barley, alfalfa, corn, rice
  • Crystals and Gemstones: Emerald, peridot, amethyst, jet, tourmaline, granite, quartz, salt, jasper, azurite, onyx, bedrock, tiger’s eye, rutilated quartz, fluorite, slate, lead, iron, moss agate, tree agate, coal
  • Animals: gopher, bear, wolf, ant, horse, stag, deer, dog, cow, bull, bison, snake, worms, moles, voles, grubs

The Unique Magic of the Earth Element

The earth element works in conjunction with all other elements to sustain life on this planet. In fact, it IS the planet. Think about how earth works with the others: earth feeds fire, requires water for growth, produces air (trees/plants) in conjunction with water. But can also suffocate fire and air and impede water. We live on the earth, our feet and homes planted in the soil, and grow our food in the earth. Without earth, we would not survive. Earth is nurturing, grounding, loving, growing, replenishing, moving, sowing, and reaping.

Ways to connect to Earth

If you are an earth zodiac sign, your most powerful magic will facilitate the earth element to make change. Earth magic doesn’t have to be complicated, unless you want it to be. Here are some easy ways to cast earth magic and harness the energy of the earth element:

  • growing and maintaining a magical garden
  • making herbal infusions and brews
  • burying spells i.e. witch’s bottles and jars
  • using different kinds of dirt and sand in your spells
  • kitchen witchcraft: cooking, baking, herbalism, crafting
  • mountain witchcraft: working with the energies of the mountain
  • herbal offerings to the gods and ancestors
  • making spell bags with herbs and crystals
  • growing a plant intended to manifest magical intentions
  • using salt to cleanse your sacred space
  • divination with ogham staves, rune stones and crystals
  • healing with crystals and stones and herbs
  • working with gnomes, garden fairies, etc.
  • aligning and balancing your root and heart chakras
  • working with the magick of trees
  • hiking and camping
  • Use herbs and plants in spell jars
  • carving and woodworking
  • crafting magical wreaths
  • wearing and using earth element colors in your magic
  • shadow work
  • Mindfully being in nature
  • Grounding and/or Earthing
  • Make a simmer pot

Next up, the element of Air

Air, the element of wisdom, communication, reasoning, logic, and breath. It is the perfect element to work with during the fall months because this shifting of the seasons often requires us to look inward and assess our situation; to take a deep breath and let go of what no longer serves us; to communicate our truths.

The air element is powerful in so many ways. The air is felt through the breath, the skin, and the view of the swaying trees. It is movement in the purest form as the wind travels around the globe spreading seeds for life, changing the landscape of the earth, and allowing the creatures of the sky to move amongst us. The air holds clouds, birds, and the stars above us.

Air is a force that is both seen and unseen, carrying the energies of communication, intellect, inspiration, and transformation. Just as the wind whispers secrets through the trees, Air symbolizes the realm of thoughts, ideas, and the power of the mind. It holds the potential for clarity, mental agility, and the swift currents of change. By tapping into the essence of Air, witches can amplify their intellectual capacities, enhance their intuition, and facilitate the free flow of energy within their craft.

Air magic encompasses themes of intellect, communication, inspiration, and travel. It aids in enhancing mental clarity, fostering effective communication, and seeking truth and wisdom. By working with the Air element, witches can harness its energy to stimulate creativity, promote clear thinking, and invite swift transformation in their lives. It serves as a conduit for ideas to take flight and for intentions to be carried far and wide.

Depending on the tradition and even the individual, air magical properties will vary. When the air element means communication or activation to one person, it may mean emotions and abundance to another. From a gust of wind to a gentle exhale, witches use the air element in their magic and spiritual practice for many different purposes. 

Air Folklore

Much of the folklore associated with Air encompasses weather magic and the wind itself. In Greek mythology, the Anemoi were the four winds, each of them corresponding to the four cardinal directions. They were the children of Eos, goddess of dawn, and Aeolus, Keeper of the Winds.

 The first of the sons was Boreas, the god of the north wind and bringer of cold winter air. He is often depicted with a beard in a short, pleated tunic and said to have a violent temper. When Orithyia, a princess of Athens, refused to marry Boreas, he stole her away to marry her in the clouds where they later had two sons and two daughters together. From then on, Boreas was seen as a relative by marriage and they called upon him for protection when attacked by neighboring kingdoms. In 480 B.C. Boreas supposedly sank 400 Persian ships that threatened the Athenians.

The second son, Zephyrus or Zephyr, is the god of the west wind. He is the gentlest of the winds, blowing in Spring and warmer weather. Zephyrus appears in a number of stories, each one often depicting a different lover both male and female. His amorous relationships make him a fertility god, which makes sense since he is said to bring in Spring, the ultimate icon of fertility. 

The god of the south wind, Notus, is associated with the hot, desiccating winds of Summer that blew in after the Summer Solstice. It was him that brought late summer storms, destroying crops in his wake. 

And finally, there was Eurus, god of the east winds, who was believed to be responsible for the turbulent winds during storms at sea. Seafarers would often try to appease Eurus to ensure a safe trip and would place protection charms on their ships to ward off ill will.

In other traditions, Air is deeply associated with breath, the life-giver. In ancient Greece, this breath of life was referred to as pneuma, which later became translated into soul or spirit. I’ll address pneuma in more detail in later posts, but I wanted to mention it here because, without breath, life ceases to exist, and as such a number of superstitions arose around breath. For example, when passing by a cemetery one should hold their breath to avoid breathing in the spirit of someone who recently passed. In multiple cultures around the world, we see tales of the night hag, a demon who sits on your chest and steals your breath away, a phenomenon now referred to as sleep paralysis. For centuries in England, it was believed cats should suck an infant’s breath away, causing the baby to die. In 1791, a jury in Plymouth, England convicted a cat of infanticide while in 1929 in Nebraska, a supposed doctor claimed to have witnessed a cat “lying on the baby’s breast, pay on either side of the babe’s mouth, the cat’s lips pressing those of the child and the infant’s face as pale as that of a corpse, its lips with the blueness of death.” This idea persists even in modern times, despite their not being any evidence that cats suffocate babies in this way. However, the idea that breath is linked to life is an important one, giving Air its association with life and death.

Air Correspondences

Remember, a correspondence is an item or symbol that is meant to connect you to a specific energy thru it’s representation. It is seen also as an item to respect, honor, and venerate that energy as well whether it be a deity, an archetype energy , or to connect to an element like I will list below for you to use.

  • Gender: Masculine
  • Planet: Mercury, Jupiter
  • Time: Dawn
  • Season: Spring
  • Direction: East
  • Tarot Cards: Wands (or Swords depending on the tradition)
  • Zodiac: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius
  • Symbolism: Intelligence, wisdom, knowledge, logic, thought, communication, truth, inspiration, intuition, memory, creativity
  • Symbols: Feather, wand, staff, incense, censer, pen, broom, bell, sword, sky, wind, clouds, breeze, breath, wind chimes
  • Deities: Zeus, Aradia, Nuit, Thoth, Urania, Cardea, Enlil, Kheoheva, Merawrim, Shu, Arianrhod, Hermes, Morrigan, Mercury, Aeolus, Boreas, Zephyrus, Notus, Eurus, 
  • Nature Spirits: Winged fairies, sprites, spirits, sylphs, zephyrs
  • Colors: Yellow, gold, white, light blue, pastels
  • Food and Drink: Beans, lentils, leafy greens, toast, cabbage, grains, carbonated beverages, popcorn, tofu, vinegar, rice cakes, puffed rice, dates, lingonberries, chickweed
  • Herbs: Bergamot, lavender, marjoram, peppermint, sage, dandelion, bluebell, clover, frankincense, primrose, lemongrass, pine, aspen, yarrow, violets, vervain, myrrh, dill, anise, aspen
  • Crystals and Gemstones: Amber, topaz, citrine, jasper, agate, pumice, alexandrite, amethyst, fluorite, mica, clear quartz
  • Animals: Birds, flying insects, spiders, bats

Ways to connect to Air

If you are an air zodiac sign, your most powerful magic will facilitate the air element to make change. Air spells don’t have to be complicated, unless you want them to be. Here are some easy ways to cast air spells and harness the energy of the air element:

  • make a wish while blowing bubbles OR divine a message using bubbles
  • burn incense as offering to the gods and to manifest your intentions
  • write your air spell on a piece of paper, take it to the top of a cliff, let it blow away in the wind
  • keep a magical grimoire or book of shadows
  • make a wish and blow out the birthday candles
  • smoke-cleanse your home with burning herbs to rid it of negativity
  • blow a dandelion seed-head and make a wish
  • balloon magick (although not recommended for the environment nowadays)
  • storm magick: harnessing the energy of a storm to manifest your air spell
  • cloud scrying: divination using the patterns in clouds to tell the future
  • cloud bursting: moving air with the power of your mind
  • whispering air spells into the wind
  • working with air element fairies and spirits
  • volunteering your time or resources to a local bird rescue (the energy you offer to these creatures may help manifest your intentions)
  • automatic writing
  • writing and reciting poetry
  • learning and playing an instrument (particularly woodwind, flutes or stringed)
  • singing your intentions
  • chanting your intentions
  • daily words of affirmation
  • feather magick: divination or spells

The Unique Magic of the Air Element

The air element works in conjunction with all other elements to sustain life on this planet. Think about how air works with the others: air fuels fire, moves earth, makes clouds with water. You may notice how some of the air element’s magical properties and associations cross over with the elements. That’s because they all work together flawlessly in the circle of life. As for air, we inhale and exhale air, it cools us off, but it can also be destructive and blow down houses. Without air, we would not survive. Air is whirling, twirling, twisting, freeing. Whipping, swirling, caressing, calling, kissing, misting, clouding, flying. Speak it into existence, whisper it into the wind.

Let’s Dive into the Element of Water

The water element is powerful in so many ways. Humans are predominantly comprised of water. Water flows into and through our bodies and is necessary for our continued existence. We are suspended in a life giving liquid while growing inside of the womb. Water falls gently from the sky to nourish the earth and help the flora to grow and thrive. The water embraces sea creatures, an unexplored underwater landscape, and falls from the sky above to feed the earth.

Water, the element of fluidity and intuition, mirrors the ebb and flow of life itself. It represents the vast seas, serene lakes, and soothing rivers that nourish the Earth and all living beings. In the realm of emotions, Water governs the depth of our feelings, encouraging us to embrace vulnerability, intuition, and empathy. By connecting with the Water element, witches can navigate the currents of their emotions, tap into their psychic abilities, and embark on a journey of healing and spiritual transformation.

Water magic encompasses themes of emotions, intuition, healing, purification, and spiritual transformation. It allows witches to dive deep into their emotions, heal past wounds, and connect with their inner wisdom. By working with the Water element, practitioners can harness its energy to enhance their psychic abilities, facilitate emotional healing, and invoke a sense of divine flow and receptivity within their craft.

Water, the element of emotions, healing, purification, and renewal. It is the perfect element to work with during the winter months because it is during winter that we spend time reflecting and setting goals for the future. This reflection process often includes shadow work where we confront past traumas to heal and break bad habits. Shadow work is by no means easy and takes more than a little self-reflection to work, but Water can help with the process greatly, especially in the beginning stages.

From an ocean wave to a dew drop, witches use the water element in their magick and spiritual practice for many different purposes.Depending on the tradition and even the individual, water’s magical properties will vary. When the water element means dreams and emotions to one person, it may mean destruction and purification to another.

Water Folklore

Humans have always been deeply connected with water, which makes sense considering we are mostly comprised of water and need it to survive. Just a couple days without water and we die. Our ancestors knew this as well and discovered quite quickly that water had the ability to sustain and restore life, as well as take it away. Throughout history and across all cultures, water was revered, being associated with deities, spirits, souls, and the Otherworld. One of the most famous tales is of the River Styx, the river in Hades or the Underworld that separates the living world from that of the dead. To cross said river, you had to secure passage from Charon, the ferrymen, by paying him a coin. However, water folklore goes back even further.

Before the Roman invasion, much of Europe was inhabited by a series of tribes, united by a common language and similar spiritual beliefs, called the Celts. The Celts believed water to be sacred and viewed it as a liminal place, a place between our world and the Otherworld. As such, a series of myths arose around major water sources across Europe. When the Romans, who had their own set of water beliefs and rituals, invaded, they meshed many of the Celtic ideas of water with their own. These traditions were so prevalent and such a cornerstone of society, that when the Christians invaded sometime later, they found it impossible to squash the pagan beliefs. Instead of trying to stamp it out, they wrote over the pagan names with Christian names (much like they did with our holidays), thus preserving much of the folklore related to water, even to this day. From wells and springs to rivers and lakes to the wide-open ocean, folklore abounds.

Across Europe, especially in the UK, there are several sacred wells and natural founts or springs riddled with folklore. While different in location and water type, it was generally believed that these sources of water were imbued with healing properties that could cure just about any ailment. Archeological sites, folklore, and existing wells inform us that there were a number of sacred wells designated across Europe as healing wells.

But not all folklore surrounds freshwater sources. Being as vast and dangerous as it is, the ocean has played a dominant role in human history and thus has its own magical properties and folklore. You could write an entire book on sea folklore and witchcraft, and people have, so I am just going to give a brief overview here. The ocean played a major role in the development of civilizations around the world. For a long time, the ocean was impassible and untameable, which led our ancestors to tie the sea to destruction, instability, and chaos.

And these are all just bodies of water! There is numerous folklore about dew, mists, and rain! Again, there is absolutely too much folklore on these subjects to include in this post, so I’m going to very briefly summarize. Dew has long been a prized magical ingredient, especially in protection and glamour magic. Especially lazy and dirty women and children were believed to be taken away by faeries where they were carefully cleansed by morning dew becoming more beautiful upon their arrival home. Most famously, however, dew was often collected and applied before sunrise on May Day (Beltane) to heal and as a glamour. On the Summer Solstice, it was believed that dew would increase one’s strength. Across Europe, especially in Britain, dew was believed to have curative properties. It was often applied to the eyes to help eye pain or rubbed on warts and freckles to remove them. Dew collected from stones with depression or cups called Bullaun Holes were used by wise women and men in medicines to enhance their restorative qualities. Sometimes the dew was collected with a white rag and tied around the ailing part to help it heal faster.

While dew was often seen as a healer, mists were viewed as a magical veil that was used by spirits of the Otherworld to shroud themselves. Furthermore, Celtic folklore suggests that not only did the fae and other spirits arrive with the mist, but the mist could carry you away as well, bringing you to the water if you weren’t careful. With mist and fog, it is believed all manner of devilish creatures can walk the Earth. People often report seeing black dogs, an omen of death, in the mists or hearing the luring voices of women calling them out to sea. However, in the Haudenosaunee myth The Maid of the Mist, the maiden is a savor who warns her village of impending doom. In almost all legends, the mists act as a portal or gateway between realms, thus becoming an excellent hedge riding tool for astral travel.

Rain, on the other hand, as a complete set of unique myths, but in most cases, rain is associated with life, fertility, and healing. Originally, the rain was associated with spontaneous generation and was believed that frogs and worms came directly from rain, thus associating it with life, abundance, and fertility. Oden, a Norse god of fertility among other things, was also associated with the rain. I’m sure you can figure out what the rain was meant to be in this case. In Greek mythology, rain is believed to be the tears of Calandra, daughter of Hades, mourning the death of her beloved, Orestes, son of Zeus. Zeus and Hades, upon hearing of their love, struck down Orestes and locked Calandra in the clouds to mourn for all eternity. Rainwater has been used in all manner of magical ways, including spells for rejuvenation, healing, protection, cursing, and nourishment. Rainwater alone deserves a post of its own, which I’ll likely do this year sometime in April because “April showers bring May flowers…”

I’ve only scratched the surface of water folklore. There is plenty more from Asia, Africa, and the Americas that wasn’t touched on here. There simply isn’t enough time for me to cover everything in great detail, but this folklore provides a deeper understanding of how important water has been throughout human history. It is the bringer of life and death, a healer and a curse. Without water and all its amazing, properties humans would not be where we are today. It nourishes our bodies, helps our cells and organs function and while aiding plants in creating food. It helps us and our planet maintain a relatively constant temperature and allows cell membranes to form a double layer.

Water Correspondences

Remember, a correspondence is an item or symbol that is meant to connect you to a specific energy thru it’s representation. It is seen also as an item to respect, honor, and venerate that energy as well whether it be a deity, an archetype energy , or to connect to an element like I will list below for you to use.

  • Gender: Feminine
  • Planet: Moon, Neptune, Pluto
  • Time: Twilight
  • Season: Fall
  • Direction: West (although if the closest body of water to you is a different direction, use that instead)
  • Tarot Cards: Cups
  • Zodiac: Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces
  • Symbolism: emotion, intuition, psychic abilities, love, unconscious mind, fertility, self-healing, reflection, lunar energy, deep feelings, curses, death
  • Symbols: Ocean, lake, river, fog, mist, creek, well, spring, pond, rain, shell, sea glass, driftwood, cup, chalice, bowl, trident, seaweed, hag stones, cauldron
  • Deities: Oshun, Davy Jones, Danu, Grannus, Lir, Llyr, Sinann, Selkie, Sulis, Nix, Nerthus, Nehalennia, Aegir, Achelous, Alpheus, Brizo, Ceto, Doris, Eurybia, Graeae, Nerus, Nerites, Poseidon, Tethys, Thetis, Coventina, Fontus, Juturna, Neptune, Salacia, Tiberinus, Ap, Yami, Ganga, Mokosh, Veles, Anuket, Hapi, Nephthys, Satet, Sobek, Tefnut, Enki, Marduk, Nammu, Sirsir, Tiamat, Hebo, Mazu, Gonggong, Suijin, Susanoo, Cerridwen
  • Nature Spirits: Undine, nymph, mermaid, finfolk, lake ladies, water maidens, Cailleach, water horse, kelpie, bean-nighe, banshee, white woman, washerwoman, water cows, faeries associated with wells, streams, ponds, or lakes
  • Colors: Blue, silver, white, gray, seafoam, indigo, aquamarine, bluish-silver, black
  • Food and Drink: water, tea, apple, pear, coconut, strawberry, watermelon
  • Herbs: seaweed, aloe, fern, water lily, lotus, moss, willow, gardenia, apple, catnip, chamomile, cattail, lettuce, kelp, birch, cabbage, coconut, cucumber, comfrey, eucalyptus, gourd, geranium, grape, licorice, lilac, pear, strawberry, tomato
  • Crystals and Gemstones: Moonstone, pearl, silver, aquamarine, amethyst, blue tourmaline, lapis lazuli, fluorite, coral, blue topaz, beryl, opal, coral
  • Animals: fish, snake, frog, crab, lobster, eel, shark, dragonfly, seahorse, dolphin, sea otter, seal, whale, alligator, crocodile, beaver, octopus, penguin, salamander, turtle, starfish, koi, coral, barnacle, manta ray, manatee, jellyfish, nautilus, heron, duck, geese, crane, swan, water birds, ammonite, dragons, serpents

Ways to connect to Water

If you are a water zodiac sign, your most powerful magick will facilitate the water element to make change. Water magic spells don’t have to be complicated, unless you want them to be. 

  • ritual baths and bath spells
  • making magical waters: rose water, moon water, sun water, war water, etc.
  • send off spell remnants in a flowing river/creek
  • water and mirror scrying
  • asperging (cleansing) by sprinkling blessed water on a person/place/thing
  • messages/spells in a bottle sent off into the ocean
  • storm magick: harnessing the storm’s water to use in magickal endeavors
  • working with sea gods and goddesses
  • brewing teas and other concoctions
  • making herb-infused oils and salves
  • floating candle spells
  • cleansing/purification ritual by swimming in the ocean/river/lake
  • collect rain water, ocean water, river water, creek water to use in spells
  • collect dew to use in spells
  • using various magical waters as an offering on altars
  • snow and ice spells
  • making and using moon water https://modgepodgemystic.com/moon-water-a-magical-staple/
  • making herbal sprays for purification etc.

The Unique Magic of the Water Element

The water element works in conjunction with all other elements to sustain life on this planet. Think about how water works with the others: water extinguishes fire or is evaporated by fire, water feeds the earth, water is made with and moved by air. We require water to live and our bodies are made up of at least sixty percent water. The planet is mostly made up of water. Water is our great mother, the creator, and yet in an instant becomes the great destroyer. But remember, where there’s destruction then after comes creation.

Next, The element of Fire

Fire isn’t just without. It comes from within. It’s as much a part of this world as it is a part of ourselves. Fire drives away the darkness. It warms our cold bones and stirs the passions inside of us. Fire does not have its own physical existence like the other elements. It comes into being as light and heat in a powerful and dramatic fashion and then once it has consumed an object, it disappears back into another realm. Fire is often linked to the masculine energies as it is protective. Fire is depicted in volcanoes, the phoenix, and transformations.

Fire is quite the element, associated with new beginnings, energy, courage, anger, passion, lust, war, and purification. It’s the perfect element to work with during the summer months when the Sun is at its strongest, the ultimate source of Fire. Fire is also the perfect element to work with when trying to enact change, especially social change.

Fire dances with an intense and captivating energy, embodying the qualities of passion, creativity, willpower, and transformation. It is the spark of inspiration that ignites our desires, fuels our ambitions, and drives us forward. Just as fire can both nurture and consume, the Fire element in witchcraft represents the potent force of change, the catalyst for spiritual growth, and the embodiment of personal power. By harnessing the essence of Fire, witches can kindle the flames of their intentions, manifest their desires, and embody the transformative nature of this element.

Fire magic encompasses themes of passion, willpower, courage, purification, and transformation. It empowers witches to ignite their creativity, fuel their ambitions, and embrace their personal power. By working with the Fire element, practitioners can tap into their inner strength, channel their intentions with fiery determination, and embark on a path of self-discovery and transformation.

From a candle’s flame to a bonfire, witches use the fire element in their magical craft for many different reasons. Depending on the tradition and even the individual, fire magical properties will vary. When the fire element means passion and success to one person, it may mean emotions and cleansing to another.

Fire Folklore

Fire has long been coveted by humankind as not only a life-bringer but as a source of transformation as well. How we first acquired Fire is debatable and we will likely never know, but the fact that we did allowed humans to prosper and ultimately dominate our surroundings. There are myths found in every single culture around the world explaining how humans first acquired Fire, from the Greeks to the Cherokee to the Hindus to the Aztecs. Almost all of these stories tell a story of theft, the Fire is stolen from some greedy source and given as a gift to humans. In Greek mythology, the titan Prometheus stole Fire from the gods, giving it to man along with the skill of metalwork because he loved humans more than the Olympians who had banished his family to Tartarus. This gift resulted in the progress of civilization and ultimately resulted in Fire temples across Greece.

 In various Native American tribes in the Pacific Northwest and First Nations, Fire was stolen by Coyote, Beaver, or Dog and given to humans, while in Algonquin myth it is Rabbit that steals Fire from a man and his two daughters to share with other humans. The Cherokee myth, however, is my favorite of the Native American Fire myths. After both Possum and Buzzard failed to acquire Fire, Grandmother Spider weaves a web to sneak into the land of the light, where she steals Fire from the Sun and hides it in a clay pot. She brings the clay pot back, giving it to humans so they may see in the dark. In Rig Veda, a Hindu text, it is Matarisvan who steals Fire that had been hidden away from humans. All of these myths reveal the nature of Fire; that is it deeply associated with trickery and chaos, most likely because we may think we have control over Fire, but ultimately it is in control. Furthermore, Fire is extremely destructive but transformative, thus leading to the progress of civilization in all of these stories.

Fire was so revered by our ancestors that shrines, temples, and festivals were dedicated to Fire. In Ancient Greece, every private and public hearth or prytaneium was regarded as a sanctuary for the hearth goddess Hestia. In Greek mythology, Hestia was assigned the duty by Zeus to feed and maintain the fires in the Olympian hearth with the fat from animal sacrifices to the gods. As such, she was usually given the first offering during a sacrifice so that she may share a portion with the gods to maintain their Fire.

Hestia’s Roman equivalent, Vesta, played a much more prominent role in Roman culture. She was very rarely depicted in human form, but instead as a flame. Vesta’s temple in the Forum Romanum only allowed entry to Vesta’s priestesses known as Vestals. The Vestals tended the sacred hearth fires of Vesta which were believed to be indispensable for the preservation and continuity of the Roman State.

Across the ocean, two important Celtic deities were honored for their sacred flames. The first was Brigid, who later was Christianized St. Brigid. Brigid, who is deeply associated with holy wells, was also associated with sacred flames. In Kildare, Brigid’s sacred fire was tended to by priestesses since pre-Christian times. However, it wasn’t just Brigid who was associated with Fire in Celtic lore. Belenus (Belus or Baal), whose name means “Shining One,” was one of the most widely worshipped of the Celtic deities. He was the Celtic god of the Sun and was celebrated year-around, but honored specifically at Beltane, an ancient Fire festival on May 1st.

Other Sun gods from around the world, including Ra, Aten, Nanahuatzin, Helios, and Sol, were worshipped year around with the Sun’s heavenly movement. Early humans recognized that as the Sun traveled through the sky that it drove the changing of the seasons. From this knowledge, myths arose to explain what happened to the Sun god during each transformation. In modern Wicca, the equivalent of this story traces the birth and death of the God, who represents the Sun. These myths were so prevalent around the world that early Christianity adopted them and associated them with Jesus.

Apart from Fire’s association with deities, it has long been viewed as a protective force. This likely arose from the fact our early ancestors found that keeping fires lit through the night safeguarded against beasts of the night. Fire quickly became associated with warding off evil spirits, especially in the case of childbirth. Multiple cultures around the world light candles and lamps and keep them burning to ward against demons waiting to pounce on the newborn child and mother. This custom still persists in parts of Britain, Scandinavia, and Germany, where candles and fires are lit around the new baby to keep evil spirits away.

Fire has also been used as a form of divination and as an omen. As mentioned earlier, the extinguishing of Hestia’s and Vesta’s fires were believed to be ruin and bad luck. The Banyoro in Central Africa and the people of British New Guinea will not hunt the following morning if their fire goes out overnight, an omen of bad luck and death. In modern Greece, the behavior of logs in a fire is said to foretell the future. Crackling means that good news or a friend is coming, while sparks and ash flying are believed to foretell trouble and anxiety brewing. On the other hand, in parts of Britain cinders were read to predict major future events, such as births, marriages, and deaths. 

The vast amount of folklore around Fire suggests a few things. First, Fire is an important source of life. It warms, cooks food, and inspires. Second, Fire is an important protector and purifier, yet has the ability to consume all that it touches. In modern times, witches use fire for these same reasons, often as in protection rituals, and to send messages to the spirit world.

Fire Correspondences

Remember, a correspondence is an item or symbol that is meant to connect you to a specific energy thru it’s representation. It is seen also as an item to respect, honor, and venerate that energy as well whether it be a deity, an archetype energy , or to connect to an element like I will list below for you to use.

  • Gender: Masculine
  • Planet: Sun, Mars
  • Time: Noon
  • Season: Summer
  • Direction: South (although in the Southern hemisphere, North may work better for you)
  • Tarot Cards: Wands or Swords (depends on belief system)
  • Zodiac: Aries, Leo, Sagittarius 
  • Symbolism: Energy, will, destruction, strength, courage, power, passion, lust, sexuality, anger, war, new beginnings, protection, loyalty, transformation, action, movement, achievement, creativity, desire, willpower
  • Symbols: Athame, candles, swords, wands, dagger, lamp, flame, volcano, Sun, stars, lava, heat
  • Deities: Vesta, Hestia, Morrigan, Brigid, Belenus, Freya, Ra, Horus, Prometheus, Vulcan, Hephaestus, Agni, Pele, Ogun, Oya, Sekhmet, Zhurong, Huilu, Jowangsin, Kojin, Fuji, Amaterasu, Arshi Tengri, Odqan, Yal-un Eke, Alaz, Vut-Ami, En, Eate, Alpan, Kamar, Aed, Grannus, Nantosuelta, Sethlans, Logi, Mariel, Cacus, Dazhbog, Kresnik, Peklenc, Svarog, Shapash, Gerra, Gibil, Ishum, Nuska, Chantico, Mixcoati, Xiuhtecuhtli, Iansa
  • Nature Spirits: Salamander, dragon, phoenix, chimera, djinn
  • Colors: Red, yellow, orange, gold, crimson, white
  • Food and Drink: Chili, tea, coffee, beans, curry, onion, garlic, cider, cloves, cinnamon, wassail, garlic bread, beef, ham, oranges, lime, lemon, lemonade, limeade, orange juice, marmalade, spicy foods
  • Herbs: Cinnamon, cloves, ginger, allspice, basil, cacti, marigold, chilis, garlic, mustard, nettle, onion, heliotrope, hibiscus, juniper, lime, orange, red pepper, poppies, thistle, coffee, jalapenos, lemon, cumin, saffron, coriander
  • Crystals and Gemstones: Carnelian, red jasper, bloodstone, garnet, ruby, agate, rhodochrosite, gold, pyrite, brass, fire opal, lavastone, tiger’s eye
  • Animals: Lion, snake, coyote, fox, ladybug, bee, shark, scorpion, horse, mantis, tiger

Ways to connect to Fire

The fire magical properties are fueled by air. So, essentially, air can be used to fan or increase fire. Water may be heated by fire OR in larger quantities can put out the fire. Fire cooks or burns up earth or can be extinguished by earth.

People who are fire signs tend to be very passionate, driven people. They are sometimes easy to enrage, and love working with the fire element in their magick. If you are a fire sign, fire magic spells and charms will be your most potent form of witchcraft. 

  • Candle spells
  • Sun-bathing / re-charging by sunlight
  • Burning papers with wishes/intentions in bonfires
  • Burning old belongings to release old habits and negativity
  • Hearth magick: cooking, brewing, baking, etc.
  • Fire scrying: divination in candle flames and bonfires
  • Smoke scrying: divination with smoke
  • Burning Incense and Smoke-cleansing
  • Storm magick, particularly harnessing the energy of lightning
  • Solar magick: sun teas and elixirs, sabbat celebrations, etc.
  • Alchemy with metals
  • Crafting sun catchers with magical intentions
  • Sex magick
  • Burning candles as offerings to gods, ancestors, spirit guides
  • Blacksmithing and forging
  • Working with crystals linked to the fire element
  • Following your passion in life

The Unique Magic of the Fire Element

Fire is creative and destructive. It warded off wild animals, intruders, and illness for our ancestors. It also kept them warm and provided a means of cooking. But it could also destroy entire villages and forests, destroying life as we know it. Fire dries/evaporates water, is fueled/extinguished by air, and is fueled/extinguished by earth. The interaction with fire all depends on the amount of each element used. Without heat and fire, our ancestors wouldn’t have survived and neither would we. In Greek mythology, fire was gifted to humans by a god. Let the fire element cleanse you of your past and prepare a path for the future.

Lastly, the element of spirit

This fifth element is not recognized by all paths. It has been known as Akasha or Aether.  No matter what you call it Spirit or Ether (or Soul!) is the element of self-awareness, wholeness, and transcendence. It is a bridge that connects the spiritual and physical soul. It is often represented as white or purple. It is the crown chakra in eastern religious practices and the halo in Abrahamic traditions. Spirit is the element called forth in ritual as it is the force that connects us to the magickal realm.

Spirit is the ethereal essence that exists beyond the physical realm, encompassing the divine, the collective consciousness, and the interwoven tapestry of all existence. It is the universal life force that breathes energy into every being and every element. Spirit, in witchcraft, represents the connection to the divine, intuition, spiritual growth, and the transcendent nature of our existence. By embracing the essence of Spirit, witches can tap into the boundless wisdom of the universe, commune with higher beings, and embark on a transformative journey of spiritual awakening.

Spiritual magic encompasses themes of intuition, divination, spiritual growth, and connection to higher beings. It allows witches to tap into their innate wisdom, connect with spirit guides and ancestors, and seek guidance from the divine. By working with Spirit, practitioners can deepen their understanding of the unseen, explore their spiritual gifts, and experience profound transformations within their spiritual journeys.

Spirit Folklore

Spirit has always existed within folk beliefs, with some of the earliest forms appearing in animistic religions and spiritual practices around the world. Animism, which is derived from the Latin anima which means breath, Spirit, or life, is the idea that all things, living and non-living, have a Spirit within them. It is this Spirit or energy that modern-day witches use when working with magical correspondences, and it’s the foundation of nature-based spiritualities around the world. 

Later, humankind began differentiating living Souls or Spirit from that of non-living objects through the use of blood. Prior to the reign of Psammetichus (664-610 BC), Egyptians equated wine with blood, saying it was the life force of those that had warred against the gods. For this reason, they didn’t leave wine as an offering and believed that drunkenness would drive a man mad for the drunkard supposedly had consumed the life-blood of their ancestors. We see modern manifestations of this idea in Christianity with wine being part of the sacrament as the blood of Christ. The idea that the Soul was derived from blood is also found in a number of myths around the world, including a Chaladae myth which says that humans and animals were born from the blood of a decapitated deity when it mixed with clay.

Later, the Soul became something intangible as the breath of life. In Genesis ii. 7 we see an allusion to this: “And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and man became a living soul.” In Greece, this breath of life was referred to as stoic pneuma, which originally meant “air in motion” or “breath” and later became religiously known as the Soul or Spirit. It was believed to be a mixture of Air and Fire that when combined created life. Pneuma was adopted by Judaism and Christianity, sometimes being used to describe the Spirit and other times to describe the wind. No matter the religion, however, Spirit is often a central focus, and protecting the Spirit or Soul is believed to be fundamental in ascending into the afterlife.

Other topics that can be considered tied to the folklore of the spirit or soul would involve soul eaters, demons, ghosts, mental illness and much more but that is for another time. If you want to learn more about demons though you can check out my previous class on them below.

Spirit Correspondences

Remember, a correspondence is an item or symbol that is meant to connect you to a specific energy thru it’s representation. It is seen also as an item to respect, honor, and venerate that energy as well whether it be a deity, an archetype energy , or to connect to an element like I will list below for you to use. 

  • Gender: Nonbinary
  • Planet: The Universe
  • Time: Infinite
  • Season: The Wheel in Motion
  • Direction: Central
  • Tarot Cards: Major Arcana
  • Zodiac: All
  • Symbolism: Transcendence, joy, hope, wholeness, self-awareness, unity, selflessness, transformation, ascension, harmony, mystery
  • Symbols: Infinity, spiral, the universe, light, helix
  • Deities: All
  • Nature Spirits: Sphinx, World Tree
  • Colors: White, silver, purple, black
  • Food and Drink: wine, liquor, beer, honey, sweets, chocolate, cacao, tea, pound cake, eggs
  • Herbs: Mistletoe, poplar, oak, chestnut, ash, apple, lotus, resurrection fern, cannabis, tobacco
  • Crystals and Gemstones: Quartz, pearl, opal, amethyst 
  • Animals: Dove, deer, cat

Ways to connect to Spirit

The spirit magical properties are fueled by everything. Every thread of energy, and everything in between weaving to hold the multiverse, universe, and collective together. The way we think of the spirit element today is rooted in the Greek thinking of Aether as the fifth element,  it was literally the air the gods breathed. How to connect to those propeties will all revolve around your spiritual beliefs, and practices, and how you choose to connect to the divine both within and without yourself. 

  • Chakra balancing
  • Therapy of any kind
  • Connecting to a god or goddess
  • Working with ascended masters
  • Adding an altar for a deity to your practice
  • Energy work
  • Journaling
  • Shadow work 
  • Reflection of your beliefs
  • Visualizations
  • Adding deities to spells and rituals
  • Honoring a deity at a festival or holiday

Unique Magic of Spirit

Spirit works with all the elements in the same manner: Spirit supports each of the elements and each of the elements supports Spirit. Spirit cannot be separated from the other elements as it is infused in all that we do.

We have talked a lot about the elements but, have you ever heard of the elementals? Or elemental spirits? Let’s take some time to talk about them now. 

What are Elementals?

Elementals are considered interdimensional beings, which means that they can move through different planes. Likewise, they maintain a strong bond with Nature, which is why many cultures consider them protectors or guardians of the earth. Physician and alchemist Paracelsus (1493 – 1541) mentioned elementals in his works, highlighting the hybrid quality of these entities, as they are neither humans nor spirits

Each of these beings has the function of guarding and protecting everything that is within its realm of influence. They are considered lower spirits, incapable of incarnating in the material world, so they are generally invisible to us. However it has been claimed that they are capable of assuming human form and other appearances.

These guardians watch over our planet and can aid us in our spiritual journeys if treated with respect. Let’s explore all four types of elementals and see how you can invoke them in your practice.

Gnomes, the Elementals of Earth

Gnomes and gnomids are the elementals of the Earth. They look like old men with their long white beards and ceremonial charm, and reside in the underbrush found in trees, roots, and soil. They can live in the mines of the earth or take care of the hidden treasures that lie there. Gnomes are the guardians of all treasures and precious metals hidden under mountains and deserts.

As Earth elementals, they also like gardens, hence the custom of placing figures of gnomes around the green areas of the home, to call for their protection and wisdom. Though generally a bit grumpy, gnomes are happy to help humans in their earthly quests. They stand ready to impart deep wisdom upon us. As keepers of material safety, you can ask Gnomes for protection in physical matters, and for aid in doing what’s right for the planet.

Their planet is Mars and their zodiac signs are Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn.

To invoke an Earth elemental, salt can be used as an offering on a plate. You can also bury a coin in the soil to ask them to intercede with the spirits of the earth, so that prosperity and riches come to our lives. Spend time outside and let your intuition guide you to a spot that is special.

Undines, Water Elementals

Undines derive their name from the Latin word unda, meaning “wave”. They come in different shapes such as mermaids or nymphs, but are also thought of as the collective body of water itself. Undines are present in each drop of water.

Their presence represents beauty and dreams. They like to live in and protect the waterways and are relatively benign elementals, historically aiding sailors in safe passage. They are the most closely linked to humans and their appearance can be that of beautiful angels.

To keep Undines present in your daily life, think of water as a close friend. Treat it with reverence; never waste it. With increased honor for this sacred element, the Undine is sure to support your emotional life. Their planets are Saturn and Mercury, and their zodiac signs Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces.

Invoking water  Elementals

To invoke the elementals of Water in your practice, work with the cycles of the moon. Perform rituals on full and new moons (also known as Esbats).Set up an altar with water at the center. Allow it to soak up the energy of the moon (Moon Water), and then mindfully drink or bathe in the water the next day.

Salamanders, Elementals of Fire

The Salamander does not necessarily appear as the slithery amphibian one might think, though it does often appear in a reptilian form, closely related to dragons. Fire elementals can appear as little balls of light that glide across water. They are thin and dry, very similar to the grasshopper or cricket, although much larger in size.

The Fire element is associated with two opposites: Creation and destruction. Salamanders can cause, control and extinguish fire. They can root out negative forces, hexes and curses that fall on a person. Fire elementals also have the ability to clean and purify all low passions and all vices, helping to make a change that allows improving everything that hinders one’s development. Their planets are the Sun and Jupiter, and its zodiacal signs Aries, Leo and Sagittarius.

Invoking Fire Elementals

Invoke the Salamander with a flame. Safely light a fire, burn a candle or incense, and practice gazing at the flame’s licks or at the smoke. Feel the warmth of the fire lighting your own internal flame. Call upon the Salamander to reignite lost passion, or give you the strength to carry through difficult tasks. The Salamander is ready to aid in your evolution.

Sylphs; the Elementals of Air

A Sylph, like air, is ethereal. It does not take on a physical form but is seen in wispy fancies, much like clouds. Though some folks actually see fantastical flurries of light and color, the Sylph can appear mentally, even in the thinnest of air.

These creatures of Air are said to look like very beautiful children with rosy faces. They can be the most mischievous in character and they represent thought. They are directly related to inspiration, knowledge, communication and travel.

The spirits of Air are the ones that cause the winds and shape the clouds, they have a preponderant role in the growth of plants, flowers in particular. Sylphs are carriers of the life-sustaining energy that nurtures all living things, the breath. On subtle levels, sylphs transmit the currents of Spirit from heaven to earth. Their planets are the Moon and Venus, and their zodiac signs Gemini, Libra and Aquarius.

Invoking Air Elementals

Working with Sylphs is all about intention. Because they lack form, the Sylph is greatly comforted by your faith alone. Pay respect to the Eastern sky, or pay extra attention to the breezes that caress your cheek. To invoke the Sylph in your ritual or spell, practice different forms of breathwork, or gaze at clouds and stars. Look to Sylphs for inspiration and clearing mental blocks.

Conclusion

While the five elements are linked with the beauty of the self and the natural world, each element also contains a darker component. It is through these components that change comes in drastic forms. The earth shakes with tremors, the water rises in tsunamis, the air rises as tornadoes, and fires rage out of control. Each element should be respected for its ability to exist in all forms and treated accordingly.

Take time to work with the powers of each element in your practice. As you journey down the pagan path, usually an element will feel natural to your own magickal working. Embrace it and relish in working with your element, but don’t forget that they all work in tandem with one another!

To expand your knowledge about this path and if you’d rather listen than read; you can watch my free class with Divination Academy on YouTube below!