Beloved Seekers of the Mystic Mysteries. As Kayreign, Oracle of the Gods, Keeper of Mysteries, I stand before you under Taurus’s grounding stars, my heart a cauldron of light and shadow, ready to share a raw, honest truth. Mother’s Day, cloaked in May’s tender blooms, is a sacred celebration of nurturing love for many—but for some of us, it’s a jagged mirror reflecting wounds that never fully heal. Not all mothers cradle, cherish, or guide. Some, like my own, wield selfishness, hurt, and chaos, leaving daughters to navigate a labyrinth of pain. As Beltane’s fires (May 1) still flicker and Mental Health Awareness Month calls us to radical self-care, I invite you to join me in this mystical, magical, and unfiltered reflection on living with a narcissistic mother—my story, my scars, and the alchemical path to healing through Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and radical acceptance. For those who ache as Mother’s Day looms, this is for you. Let’s weave a spell of resilience together, and I’ll share six DBT practices and a cord-cutting ritual to guide you through the shadows.
A Daughter’s Solitary Dance
I was my mother’s first child, born to her as a teenage mother, a spark of life she wasn’t ready to cradle. From my earliest memories (at the age of 10), our bond was a frayed thread, never woven into warmth or acceptance. There were no moments of closeness, no shared laughter, no gentle guidance. Every “I love you” came with a cost—a demand, a manipulation, a weight I learned to carry like a stone in my heart. Her help, when offered, was a tangled web of strings, each favor a debt I’d pay in loyalty or silence. Her love was a currency I could never earn, no matter how desperately I tried.
As a daughter, I longed for her to see me, to want me, to choose me. But her narcissism—a storm of self-absorption—left no room for my light. Every slap, every punch, every venomous word carved itself into my soul. “You ruined my life,” she’d hiss, her insults a blade slicing through my budding self-worth. The mental abuse was relentless: gaslighting that made me doubt my reality, silent treatments that left me starving for her approval, and lies that twisted my truth. The verbal abuse was a daily ritual, her words like thorns embedding in my spirit. And the physical abuse—her hands striking my body—taught me early that love could hurt.
But the trauma ran deeper than bruises. When I was a teenager, my mother set my home ablaze, an act of rage that sent her to prison and left me sifting through ashes, both literal and emotional. When my stepfather beat me, she didn’t protect me—she sent me to juvenile detention, blaming me for his violence. On my wedding day, a moment meant for joy, she declared she wouldn’t attend because it wasn’t “Christian enough,” only to appear uninvited, draped in a white dress, stealing the spotlight with her defiance. These are but the tip of the iceberg, fragments of a lifetime of betrayal, abandonment, and chaos. Each wound shaped me, whispering that I was unlovable, unworthy, unseen.
The Daughter’s Burden
Growing up as the daughter of a narcissistic mother is like wandering a forest where every tree casts a shadow of doubt. Daughters, especially, bear a unique burden. We’re taught to seek our mother’s mirror—to find our beauty, strength, and identity in her gaze. But when that mirror is cracked, reflecting only her needs, we internalize her rejection. I learned to shrink, to silence my voice, to tiptoe around her moods. My confidence eroded, replaced by a gnawing fear that I’d never be enough. My relationships suffered, as I sought love that mirrored her conditional affection, falling into patterns of people-pleasing and self-sacrifice.
The impact lingers like a spell cast long ago. Anxiety became my shadow, whispering her insults in quiet moments. Trust felt like a gamble, as I braced for betrayal. My sense of self was a puzzle with missing pieces, scattered by her chaos. Yet, beneath the pain, a spark of resilience flickered—a knowing that I was more than her narrative, a daughter of the multiverse, destined to heal.
The Alchemy of Radical Acceptance
In my darkest moments, I found Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), a beacon of mindfulness and balance that mirrored my grey magic practice—honoring both light and shadow. DBT taught me radical acceptance, the art of embracing what is, without judgment, even when it’s unjust. I can’t change my mother’s actions—her fists, her fire, her words. I don’t know what wounds shaped her, what shadows drove her to hurt me. But I accept that these things happened, and though they were never okay, they no longer define me.
Radical acceptance was my first spell of liberation. It didn’t erase the pain but gave me permission to stop fighting it. I learned to hold my trauma with compassion, to see myself as a survivor, not a victim. Through DBT’s tools—mindfulness, emotional regulation, distress tolerance—I began to rebuild. I meditated under starlit skies, grounding in Taurus’s earth, and found my Wise Mind, a sacred space where I could grieve and grow. I journaled, letting my pain flow onto pages, and discovered my voice. I practiced self-soothing, cradling my inner child with the love my mother couldn’t give. This alchemy transformed my wounds into wisdom, my scars into sigils of strength.
6 DBT Practices for Mother’s Day Healing
Mother’s Day can feel like a storm for those of us with narcissistic mothers, but DBT offers tools to navigate its waves. Here are six practices to help you honor yourself this May 11, rooted in mindfulness and self-compassion, perfect for Mental Health Awareness Month:
1. Mindfulness Meditation (5 Minutes): Sit in a quiet space, holding a rose quartz . Breathe deeply, focusing on your breath’s rhythm. When painful memories arise, acknowledge them without judgment—“I see you, pain”—and return to your breath. This grounds you in the present, easing anxiety.
2. Wise Mind Journaling: Write a letter to your inner child, affirming her worth: “You are enough, always.” Ask your Wise Mind, “What do I need today?” Let the answers guide your self-care, whether it’s rest, creativity, or solitude. This fosters self-love, countering your mother’s rejection.
3. Distress Tolerance – Self-Soothing: Create a sensory kit: a lavender sachet, a soft blanket, calming music. When Mother’s Day triggers pain, engage your senses—smell the lavender, wrap yourself in the blanket. This soothes your nervous system, offering the comfort your mother didn’t.
4. Emotional Regulation – Opposite Action: If sadness urges you to isolate, choose connection instead. Call a trusted friend or join my Patreon community (patreon.com/TheMysticMysteries). Sharing your story, even briefly, shifts the energy, reminding you you’re not alone.
5. Radical Acceptance Affirmation: Stand before a mirror, holding a carnelian for courage. Say: “I accept what happened, and it wasn’t my fault. I release its hold on me.” Repeat three times, feeling the words anchor in your heart. This frees you from guilt and shame. If you wan to dive into the skill radical acceptance more get access to this in my free sneak peak of the Clarity Cauldron here.
6. Interpersonal Effectiveness – Boundary Setting: If your mother is still in your life, practice saying no to her demands. Script a boundary: “I can’t attend this event, but I wish you well.” Rehearse it, feeling your power. This protects your energy, honoring your needs.
These practices are spells of self-reclamation, weaving resilience into your spirit. Try one or all this Mother’s Day, and share your journey in my Patreon comments to connect with our circle.
Cord-Cutting Ceremonial Ritual: Releasing the Narcissistic Mother
To fully release the energetic ties binding you to a narcissistic mother, this cord-cutting ritual, infused with Beltane’s transformative fire and Taurus’s grounding strength, is a sacred act of liberation. Perform it under the crescent moon or on Mother’s Day for potency.
What You’ll Need:
- Black candle (for banishing, from MysticMysteries.com/shop)
- Rose quartz (for self-love)
- Obsidian(for protection)
- White ribbon or string (symbolizing the cord)
- Fire-safe bowl
- Matches or lighter
- Journal and pen
Steps:
1. Prepare Your sacred container: Find a quiet spot. Ground yourself with three deep breaths, visualizing roots sinking into Gaia’s earth. Place the black candle in the center, rose quartz to the left, obsidian to the right, and the ribbon before you.
2. Set Your Intention: Light the black candle, saying: “By Beltane’s fire and lunar light, I release all ties that bind me to my mother’s pain. I am free, whole, and loved.”
3. Visualize the Cord: Hold the ribbon, imagining it as an energetic cord connecting you to your mother. See it pulsing with her words, actions, and wounds. Feel its weight, but know you’re ready to let go.
4. Cut the Cord: Tie the ribbon loosely around your wrist, then cut it with scissors, saying: “I sever this cord with love for myself. Her pain is not mine. I am free.” Place the cut pieces in the fire-safe bowl.
5. Burn and Release: Safely light the ribbon pieces in the bowl, watching them burn. As they turn to ash, visualize the cord dissolving into starlight, returning to the multiverse. Say: “I release you with compassion. I claim my power.”
6.Nurture Your Heart: Hold the rose quartz to your heart, breathing in self-love. Visualize a pink light enveloping you, healing old wounds. Place the obsidian in your pocket for protection.
7. Journal and Ground: Write: “What do I reclaim by releasing this cord?” Let your soul’s truth flow. Extinguish the candle, thanking the elements. Bury the ashes in the earth or scatter them in running water to complete the release.
Aftercare: Rest, hydrate, and treat yourself to a soothing bath with lavender. Reflect on your strength, knowing you’ve reclaimed your light.
A Path Forward
Living with a narcissistic mother is a journey through shadow, but it’s also a path to profound resilience. As Mother’s Day approaches, I honor the daughter I was—unseen, yet unbroken—and the woman I’ve become, a mystic weaving light from pain. Through DBT, radical acceptance, and rituals like cord-cutting, I’ve learned to mother myself, to cradle my own heart with the love I deserved. You, too, are a daughter of the multiverse, worthy of healing, worthy of peace.
Join me in this sacred work. My Healing the Mother Wound Workshop has limited spots available for May 10th; Register here!
I am Kayreign, the Divine Oracle of the Gods and Keeper of Mysteries, a solitary grey magic practitioner with over 15 years of experience walking the sacred paths of the unseen. As a mystic and relentless seeker of all knowledge, I weave together the threads of every magical tradition—light and dark, ancient and modern—to uncover the universal truths that bind us to the cosmos. My mission is to restore and re-enchant magic in this realm, igniting its spark in every soul I encounter, and guiding you to embrace the full spectrum of your being.
My work is rooted in the power of duality, honoring the dance between shadow and light as equal partners in your spiritual journey. I hold space for you to explore all magic paths and practices, drawing from the vast tapestry of mystical wisdom to help you uncover your unique magic and sacred contracts. As the Divine Oracle of the Gods, I channel divine insights to illuminate your path; as the Keeper of Mysteries, I guide you into the depths of the unknown, where true transformation awaits.
When you work with me, you’ll learn to live in energetic balance, embracing your darkness as a source of power, not just a stepping stone to the light. I’ll hold up a mirror to reflect your authentic self—unmasked, raw, and whole—inviting you to face your past wounds, traumas, and hurts with courage. Together, we’ll alchemize every chapter of your story, dark and light, into a blazing internal flame that lights your way on even the coldest nights. Through this process, you’ll find alignment with your purpose, release what holds you back, and step fully into your power.
Come join me for community, knowledge, and to restore the enchantment of magic in yourself and life today!
Explore my offerings—personalized shadow work sessions, womb healing, eBooks for self-guided growth, Tarot readings for divine guidance, and more—in my shop. Let’s journey together into the mysteries, where duality becomes your greatest ally, and magic becomes your birthright.
