Happy New Year everyone! I can not believe we are at this point again here! As we welcome the new calendar year saying hello to 2025 and also saying goodbye to 2024 I sit in the duality of the liminal space of transition as I reflect on the past year and look to the new year ahead. Sitting in this liminal space and allowing myself to reflect creates a portal that helps me acknowledge the things I went through, recognize the lessons learned, and gather my thoughts and/or feelings and focus for the year ahead.
My highest heights
. To give the year a proper send-off and reflect on the past 365 days without falling into a pattern of dwelling on the past to the point that you have trouble moving forward, I look at the best parts of the year through a lens of taking note of the highest heights I was able to climb. Actively realizing how far I’ve come and celebrating the wins along the way gives me the perspective and motivation I need when focusing on losses and unwanted things seems all my mind can do that day. Some of my highs from the past year are listed below.
The goals I was able to meet.
The new people who came in and blessed my life becoming a cherished part of my community I am rebuilding.
The kindness showed to be by family in some of my darkest days by taking me in when I didn’t know where I would end up.
The magic I was able to weave.
The projects I was able to begin, finish, and how my way to express and create changed.
The energy I was able to contribute to the collective and the change I was able to make in my clients lives and through my voice and actions demanding change.
The amount of love grown between the bond of a mother and a son another year of life can make.
The growth a huge mistake someone making can force to take place within a marriage if you choose to forgive and continue your journey together forever with a fresh new clean slate
My deepest depths
I don’t forget about the duality of this liminal time and day. I also look at the worst parts of the year through a lens of taking note of the deepest depths of despair and sorrow I had to face. Reflecting on the lows of the past year means taking time to intentionally think back on the most challenging, difficult, or disappointing moments of the previous year. To acknowledge and embrace the unwanted emotions associated with them. Allowing them identify areas for growth or self improvement moving forward. Some of my lows from the past year are listed below.
The confusion and doubt from learning how to enter a technological world I knew absolutely nothing about.
The fear and anxiety of being rejected by others never selling a product or booking a client with business I am using to help support my family every single day.
The overwhelming feeling of failure when losing my job, getting utilities shut off on me and losing the home I had built for my son and family the past few years.
The feeling of grief and loss in who I thought my husband and my marriage was when betrayal entered our life and home.
The loneliness and isolation felt when having to finally close the door and cut off contact with all the family I have connected to me through blood.
The resentment felt when you take care of everyone else’s world and you don’t see it reciprocated back into your world from those you love.
The lack of self worth when facing a relapse from an eating disorder, starting a new business on social media, and healing from betrayal
My Biggest Overall lesson of 2024
“Don’t let the fear of the unknown keep you from taking bold steps toward your goals. The greatest opportunities lie on the other side of fear.”
As you sit to reflect on the past year as it comes to the end and look forward to the next year ahead. I want you to think of this. Think of every single time you didn’t listen to the fear of failure. Think of every single time you didn’t listen to the anxiety and worry of not knowing if things were going to work out in the end. Think of every single time you kept going even though you had no idea where to go or how you would get there. Didn’t each one of those times get you to a brand new place, build a new thing, or help you meet your goals to achieve your dreams? I’m going to guess the answer is most likely yes.
I know for me the last year was a entire lesson in all of that. I launched this page, started a business, and stepped into a new sacred purpose I had no idea how to shape. The entire time there was fear in the unknown Fear that I wouldn’t have things people would want to hear. Fear that my gifts weren’t something people really wanted me share. Fear that I didn’t have the power, skill, and time to learn how to create this sacred container especially in a technical way. Fear that I would have to lose things very dear to me in order to make this dream come true and those I love would walk away Fear that the balance between creating content and being present in life couldn’t be had. But, even with that fear there, I kept going. And now just look at where I am at and all the opportunities I have had! This business has done more and has a farther reach than I ever thought I could have!
My First Year as a small business owner
With the turning of a new calendar year I sit here and set my goals and intentions for my personal growth, my family, my personal life, my marriage, my health, and now for my business, this page and sacred container I have created in this past year of my life. This goal I set at the beginning of last year was only supposed to be a small little blogsite for me to write and get my thoughts out in life. Now look at what it’s become and all the skills it has forced me to learn it had never crossed my mind I would need in this lifetime.
It’s allowed my magic to grow and flow in a way I never saw in life and created a new perspective for how to navigate this reality. My eyes were open to how my voice, my energy, and my authenticity could make a real difference in the collective and others lives entering the universal creative force. I was able to get some much more clarity on my identity. I am a hand guiding you on your own unique healing journey. Teaching you to dance in liminal space & alchemize human suffering into healing, power, and magic for the collective. I show you ways to reenchant your life with magic, personal alchemy,& duality.
The goals I have for this magical, mystical, and alchemizing place this next year I know will allow me to meet this epic, resurrecting, and revolutionizing energy of 2025 coming. Below are some of the goals I WILL climb to in 2025 and give you peak behind the curtain of the creative forces that have flowing through me thickly the last month.
Hit 1000 facebook and pinterest followers
Have 5 people a month join the patreon community
Host 2 major workshops spirit has guided me to lead in 2025
Be consistent with how I am showing up in this sacred community and container
Focus my commitment on supporting all the new offerings in my patreon community
Fight injustice in my community by using this space to speak more about political issues and activism the collective should pay attention too and host more events to empower the collective to fight
Enter new portals of knowledge to bring back and share with all whose ears are open to hear
Listen to those within the community with an open heart to hear what they truly need from to alchemize their suffering
Allow my authenticity to shine through even brighter as a guiding light
My top 24 of 2024
Last year I launched this space and birthed my small business this sacred container on 01/07/2024 . After that one of the very firs articles I wrote and posted was my Top 23 of 2023. My reflection of the top lessons I had leaned during 2023. When I look back at that article now and compare it to the ones I have written even in the last week. the growth in my own voice, my writing style, and my confidence is seen all over my site. Which leads me to the first lesson of my top 24 of 2024 . ( Of course , I am going to keep this gong. do you not know me?) If you allow yourself to walk into the unknown you will be in awe at the difference one year can make. In every single area of my life, from the beginning of this year to where I am now has been completely reshaped. Simply because, I had the courage to take that very first step into not knowing the way. Let’s look at the rest of the lesson s I learned in 2024.
If you allow yourself to walk into the unknown you will be in awe at the difference one year can make.
Anger is one of the most powerful emotions to motivate us to change.
true power comes from alchemizing our past, wounds, and suffering into healing.
Progress over Perfection 2024 reminded me that imperfections build character and can be catalysts to change..
I’d rather have lasting change instead of quick change.
Letting go of expectation reduces suffering.
I would much rather Reign in hell then serve in heaven.
I can never stop going I hold someone’s childhood in my hands.
The Peace you get from cutting out toxicity and drama from other people is resounding.
Your choice to forgive and move on must be for you and no one else.
Shame is something others can make you feel while guilt is something you make yourself feel.
In life we are either learning and growing or decaying.
When you choose to play in the matrix you have to know the rules to play.
You must know who you are to attract the abundance and things you need from the multiverse.
Embody your authenticity with integrity.
Lessons will continue to present themselves until you respond in a different and new way.
You can’t create a new life without being willing to shift perspective and do things in a new way.
The wisdom whispered in stillness and silence is the most profound.
With betrayal comes a deep sense of grief for the person and life you thought you knew.
Look for your glimmer in every single day
You can only enlighten the minds of those whose ears are open to hear it
Change is a natural part of life, and even destructive forces can lead to new beginnings.
Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
Betrayal can be a wake-up call to establish clear guidelines for how you expect to be treated.
Final Thoughts
As I look at the heights and the pits of the past year I can’t help but, be reminded of the duality of life. The constant ebb and flow of energy. The endless turning of the wheel. The one thing we can guarantee in our lives forever; is change. The need for us embracing and balancing the darkness and the light. I see how not only the highs bring wanted things into my life but, pits and falls do as well.
In the form of healing generational wounds and trauma. Pushing me to grow, evolve, and becoming the next version of myself. Shedding and letting go of stories and wounds that no longer serve me and weigh me down. While welcoming in new ways of thinking, being, and perspectives of others and the world. As you sit in both the hope of the future looking at the highs, and setting new goals. Don’t forget to also look at those times you sank into the depths of despair, darkness, and sorrow and lessons they had shining bright inside.
Come join me the first Saturday of January to revolutionize how you set your goals for 2025. Let me show you hand in hand how to create my personal development plan. You will leave with your entire years worth of SMART goals planned, a way to keep yourself accountable, and have a clear path on how you meet every goal you set. https://www.paypal.com/ncp/payment/4ZKQ6FXMUGGEJ
Have you been feeling stuck, emotionally unstable, missing joy in your life, or having a hard time connecting to yourself and your magic? Do you want to start the new year from a different headspace? I have the answer for you to start out this new year from a place feeling grounded, present, and ready to manifest your dream life. Come join me for this special one time only two day event teaching you how to integrate the practice of Mindfulness to your magic and life!
What is mindfulness? Mindfulness is the practice of purposely bringing one’s attention to the present moment without judgment. It allows you to move from just existing in life to thriving, get back to wise mind, create a place to heal and grow in, and most important of all, align you with joy while creating a life where you truly thrive! This skill is a core skill in DBT, the therapy that changed my life! To register for this special two day event visit the link below! https://www.paypal.com/ncp/payment/JY5UBMB2TA27L
It’s hard to believe another year has gone by! As we welcome in a new calendar year it’s important to choose your word of the year! If you haven’t already chosen a word of the year now is the time to do it! Choosing a word of the year allows you to look back on your hopes and dreams for the year. You have the chance to set the stage for the year to come and focus on what you need most in your life right now. Your word of the year can help you set goals that share a common theme. Ideally, your word of the year should be something that inspires you to reach your goals, chase your dreams, and drives you to live a fuller life. I truly believe that choosing a word of the year can be one of the most powerful things you can do in terms of goal setting , manifestation, and personal growth when the new year comes around each time.
Why choose a word of the year?
In life, you can’t just wish for your dreams to come true. You need to commit to them, create a plan, and implement a system to make your goals a success. There are countless ways to do this. One that I find to be incredibly useful is to include a New Year’s word to constantly remind me of them and keep them at the forefront of my mind. Choosing a Word of the Year is like picking a theme or central idea you want to focus on for the whole year. It’s a simple way to remind yourself of what’s important and what you want to achieve or change in your life—like having a personal motto or slogan.
When you choose a word, it is usually what you need more of, what you want to focus on, or what you need to improve on. A lot of the time, my word has been blaringly obvious. It helps me gain clarity on my goals, my personal development plan, and stay committed to my goals all year long. This method I have been using for years has now become a cornerstone to the foundation of all my goal setting and manifestation work for each year to come. If all that’s not enough reasons to set a word of the year, I don’t know what is!
How do you choose your word of the year?
Choosing a word of the year doesn’t have to be hard. Your word of the year just needs to provide you with inspiration for the direction you desire this next year to go!
First step is to, reflect on the past year and on the next year ahead. Make sure you look at the highs and the lows of from the past year. Look at what worked and what didn’t. Be authentic and honest with yourself about how the past year truly made you feel. Don’t hide from yourself to try and make yourself feel more accomplished then maybe the last year went as well. But, also don’t let yourself get fixated on the things that didn’t come to fruition through manifestation. Instead be willing to see through your eyes with clarity, the lessons they have taught you as this chapter comes to a close. Below are some of the questions I have used from year to year to pick out my word of the year. Use any of them that speak out to your soul or come up with your very own!
What do you want to do or accomplish the most in the next year?
What was the overall feel of last year?
Is there something you want more of or don’t want in teh next year?
How do you want to feel by the end of next year?
Is there something important you want more of from the past year?
Is there something you cherish you want more of from the past year?
What skills did you learn in the past year you want to use in the next one? What new ones would you like to learn?
What was the biggest lesson you learned in 2024?
What is the biggest lesson you wish to learn in 2025?
What core value of yours do yo wish to focus on this next year?
What feeling fits the goals of every area of your life?
What is the biggest blockage you need to remove in 2025 to manifest your dream life?
How do you want to describe your life by the end of 2025?
How would you describe the year 2024 in one word by the end of it?
What was the best things you manifested in 2024?
What is the biggest thing you need in your life to meet all your goals in 2025?
What major life changes happened in 2024? What ones do you wish to happen in 2025?
What was the greatest challenge you had to overcome in 2024?
Once we have taken the time to sit and reflect with our feelings and thoughts for the past year and then how we want to create the year unfolding ahead. It’s time to sit down and start to get a rough picture of how you want your goals to take shape in the year ahead. This step is crucial. If you don’t know what you want to accomplish, it’s going to be extremely difficult to reflect on your accomplishments and assess if you were successful. While you are doing this make sure to take a close look at each of your goals and try to find any connections between them. If you start to see a link now you may start to see your word of the year start to take form and reveal itself to you. Take a look at some of the categories below to help you start to brainstorm your goals. If you need help to learn more about what goals are you can read my guide about them here.
Finance
Parenting
Relationship(s)
Travel
Home Improvement
Self-Care/ self-love
Health
Career
Self-Development
Mental health
Healing journey
business
hobbies
political activism
Spiritual well being
Learning/knowledge/education
family
fun
cleaning/organization
pets
Now that you reflected on your past year, what you want in the next one ahead, and started to shape your goals for the new year. It is time a create a list . Create a list of one words that fit the feeling of the things you have written down. I like to do this brain dump style. How I do this is I read my answers to the question from above. Then without judgement, fear, or trying to control what comes I pick up my pen and just let the words come. I write down every single one that comes. Now, it is time for you to do the same. Don’t judge any of them that come, you never know which one may sneak up and surprise you. Below you will find a list of ALOT but, certainly not all of the words I have had come to me throughout the years. If any of them are glittering to you on this new day as an unknown year unfolds take them and add them to your list as well.
balance
compassion
commitment
acceptance
release
heal
Focus
Clarity
growth
perspective
integrate
magic
learn
dream
cultivate
prosper
shine
conquer
embrace
peace
simplify
create
accept
explore
adventure
expand
evolve
hustle
Cherish
rest
reflect
bloom
confidence
self love
thrive
elevate
inspire
persevere
forgive
encourage
connect
consistency
renew
enough
alignment
boundaries
pause
seek
gratitude
speak
wander
ground
allow
be
believe
authenticity
honesty
success
softness
family
me
build
devoted
Fight
Flexibility
fulfill
fun
habit
health
home
imagine
divinity
illuminate
indulge
lift
no
now
observe
progress
sparkle
trust
surrender
rebuild
teach
together
fight
unfold
wild
accepting
aware
justice
brave
curious
Disciplined
Empowered
Happy
Intuitive
invested
Wealthy
nourishing
motivated
Now that you have this long list of words in front of you it time to narrow down your favorites. However you choose to do this is up to you. Whether you meditate, use a pendulum, simply sit and reflect on them or something else. Narrow it down to a few or handful of your favorites to choose from.
Drum roll…. Now is the time we have been waiting for. It is time to choose the word that you can commit to as the next year unfolds. As you choose your word you need to make sure you have a strong pull to it so, you feel you can truly commit to it. If you can’t commit to focusing on your word, then you won’t live up to your goals for the new year. You won’t make changes or put the effort forward Make sure .that your word just feels like it fits. Some years you’ll need a more active word because you’re in a season of growing. While others will be more quiet and slow as you are in a season of reflection and introspection. So, make sure the one it is you choose sings to your soul and is one you can really commit to in the long year ahead.
My 2025 word of the year
After I sat down and did this for 2025 myself , the word that was singing to my soul for 2025 is Consistency. What is Consistency? It is the quality of always behaving or performing in a similar way, or of always happening in a similar way. Consistency also means that we’re making sure we’re doing the things we tend to avoid. There are many benefits to implementing consistency in our life to help us achieve our biggest dreams and reach our highest goals. I’ll list a few of them below.
Builds trust- Being consistent in your actions and words helps others perceive you as reliable and dependable.
Helps achieve goals- Consistency is a critical driver for success, and it involves dedicating yourself to your goals and staying focused on what you need to do to achieve them.
Makes lasting change- Consistency is key to making lasting change serving as a catalyst. it can also increase your productivity and motivation.
Helps you overcome procrastination- Consistency can help you let go of fear and procrastination, and take action regardless of how you feel. Which in turn helps with emotional regulation.
Helps you build habits- The more consistently you do something, the easier it becomes, and eventually it becomes a habit.
Consistency enables us to develop the necessary skills and knowledge to excel in our chosen field and become a master as well.
Reducing stress-Consistency can provide stability and reduce uncertainty.
Building resilience- Consistent effort can help you persevere, overcome challenges, adapt to change, and stay motivated in the face of adversity.
Why I chose the word Consistency
Now, to be honest, I’m pretty determined and I achieve most of my goals (at least 80%) but when I reflect on those that I don’t achieve, it almost always comes down to consistency. I would probably describe myself as someone who likes to start stuff and likes the sense of achievement of finishing stuff but ,I don’t enjoy the middle. when you can struggle. When you may have days that you don’t hit all of your goals, check off the whole to do list, or be focused on your goals at all. Those days when I don’t do anything to work towards my goals, manifestation, and growth are the ones that can derail my progress and even my entire year. It starts a shame spiral I really struggle to get myself out of off and it holds on very tight. But, as I sit here now and reflect on those moments they also are some throughout the past year that I learned the most about myself.
I n those moments of being inconsistent I have learned so much about myself in the past few years but, especially the past one. From how to love myself more, trust in my gifts and magic, and learn how I can truly help the collective in this life around. My confidence grew and I learned how to use my voice in a more efficient way, and that my number one gift is my authenticity. I learned that my artistic and creative self has been hiding just waiting for the right way to express itself and be let out. 2024 taught me a lot about flexibility and slowing down. Reminding me that amongst a chaotic year and life I can eventually find peace amongst the anxiety of the unknown and be able to cherish the little moments when I go back to my roots , surround myself in silence and be still.
I also learned that I have a lot more healing to go to keep myself in wise mind which allows me to be consistent with the way I want to live my life every single day. I need to be more committed to working through dysfunction, tough times, and hiccups in life (especially with technology) to be more consistent in showing up in my life. I need to be more focused on not being perfect in my progression every single day. But, to instead be willing to just be consistent to see long lasting change. Where my life, my business, my growth, my learning, and my evolution have been blocked and stopped is with me, myself, and I not being consistent with the things I want in life .With not being consistent with the things I know I need to do in life, to reach the highest peaks and bring my dreams into reality. With allowing perfectionism and a need to control block my sight. So, for 2025 I commit to being consistent with myself in an honest and authentic way.
What does being consistent in this year look like to me?
It means showing up for myself and my goals each and every day. Taking action regardless of how I feel on any given day. It means that this year will be the year I build upon the work I have been doing over the last five years to evolve, grow, and alchemize my suffering. I build upon the last year of work I have put in to build my business(this sacred container) and acknowledging the vast amount of progress I have made so far. I will keep doing the things that work and I won’t worry about the rest. I believe that being consistent will help me both personally, spiritually, and NOW professionally. Being consistent will help me let go of the fear of the unknown, of the self-doubt as to whether I can achieve my goal as well as all that procrastination and excuses. Why? because when you choose to be consistent none of that matters, you just keep doing what you’re doing. It makes you accountable to yourself, to your plan. It will also help me be my authentic self, practice what I preach, and let go of the need to be perfect and in control at all times with myself and my world. So, for 2025 I commit to being consistent with myself in an honest and authentic way.
How to use your word of the year?
Now, that you have gone through the steps and reflection to get to your word of the year what do you do? How do you incorporate this word into your life, manifestation and goal setting for the new year waiting to unfold. How do you take this one little word and have it be the corner stone of your dreams coming true, goals being met, and lasting change taking root? That is really truly going to depend on you and what you need. Think about what works best for you. Below are some of the things I have done in the past years you can try. Just listen to that little voice in your head and heart telling you which way to go.
My personal favorite, . If you haven’t learned how to create one to transform you year completely check out my guide here.
A lot of people like to call them vision boards but, I prefer to use goal boards. Using this term creates a much more urgent sense to complete what is on them instead of making them a some day dream. So, make sure when you create yours for this year your new word of the year you just chose inspires everything on it and is in the center of the board.
Are you a bullet journal fanatic like I am? Do you live your life on the pages of that journal? Why not put your world all over it? I do. I add it to the front o f the page and across every single margin so I see it every year.
Don’t use a bullet journal then write it on your planner, your calendar, or put on the notepad on your phone or lock screen as a home screen saver.
Use your word of the year to be the center of your goal setting mind map. This is one I love to do year after year. I take the word I choose then in the center of a page I write how can I…fill in this years word.. this years number. So for this year it said How can I have consistency in 2025? Then around that question I make boxes for each categories of goals and answer the question for each one. This helps me guide with clarity the goals I should focus on in 2025.
Let your word of the year be the guide and center focus of the SMART goals you set for 2025. To learn more about SMART goals and how to set them check out my guide here.
, you use for the next year.
Another great idea is to create a list of books to read that support your word of the year. If you aren’t a book person then do a list of podcasts, YouTube videos, or documentaries instead.
That bullet journal we talked about earlier why not go and pick out 12 monthly quotes that align with your word of the year. use one each month and write it in your bullet journal , on your bathroom mirror, create a phone lock screen, or write it on your monthly calendar page. You can find daily motivation quotes on my Pinterest page to sift through.
Are you ready to do some extra introspection and reflection with the new year? Use your word of year to create journal prompts or as you focus with shadow work . If you would like to learn more about shadow work you can purchase my eBook here; you can book me for a 1:1 session as your guide here; and you can watch my free class previously taught on it through Divination here.
Write your word on multiple pieces of small paper and seal them in a jar you decorate to pull out on days when you need to remember your focus for the year.
Take your word of the year and write it on sticky notes and place them all over your home to remind you of what is when you need it and you can’t forget it. You could even write it in the inside of your wrist. I have done that from time to time. I suggest don’t use permanent marker or sharpie. I have had it end up on my face by the morning while I sleep through transference. Not fun to try and wash off!
Are you more of a person who lives their life using their phone? Then why not take your word and have it on reminders, alarms, or calendar events to go off and be a consistent reminder for you.
Write your word down over and over and over again somewhere. Putting your goals which this word is tied to, in writing enhances their tangibility and strengthens your commitment to achieving them.
Share your word of the year with friends and loved ones. You can do this in anyway you like. When you Share your goals with trusted friends, family, or a mentor you gain encouragement and accountability. If you need a community to share your word with comment below, comment on facebook, or in my patreon.
Lastly, make sure to spend some time in a quiet, calm, and sacred container so you can meditate and visualize what living your life focused on your word of the year will look like, and feel like in the year to come.
Final thoughts
When it comes to choosing your own word of the year, there is no right or wrong way to do it. It’s about choosing one word (you may or may not want to choose a mantra/affirmation/quote instead or to go alongside) that will encompass your intentions for the year ahead. You want it to be your focus, your reminder to be your best self for the year. Your reminder to walk your own unique destined path to help heal the collective and the souls you find on your travels. Perhaps your word will come to you in a flash of inspiration or maybe you keep seeing it pop up as you go about your day. It might come to you quickly or it might be more slowly – you will know when you know. Just follow that intuition, trust yourself, and choose YOUR word. Then set your goals and reach for the stars! Just remember that 2025 can only be better if you choose to make it better. You have to put in the effort to make this year the most magical, and best one yet! What is your new word of the year? Come join me on Facebook or patreon and let me know or comment below!
Come join me the first Saturday of January to revolutionize how you set your goals for 2025. Let me show you hand in hand how to create my personal development plan. You will leave with your entire years worth of SMART goals planned, a way to keep yourself accountable, and have a clear path on how you meet every goal you set. https://www.paypal.com/ncp/payment/4ZKQ6FXMUGGEJ
Have you been feeling stuck, emotionally unstable, missing joy in your life, or having a hard time connecting to yourself and your magic? Do you want to start the new year from a different headspace? I have the answer for you to start out this new year from a place feeling grounded, present, and ready to manifest your dream life. Come join me for this special one time only two day event teaching you how to integrate the practice of Mindfulness to your magic and life!
What is mindfulness? Mindfulness is the practice of purposely bringing one’s attention to the present moment without judgment. It allows you to move from just existing in life to thriving, get back to wise mind, create a place to heal and grow in, and most important of all, align you with joy while creating a life where you truly thrive! This skill is a core skill in DBT, the therapy that changed my life! To register for this special two day event visit the link below! https://www.paypal.com/ncp/payment/JY5UBMB2TA27L
During fall the energy and essence of gratitude is in the air all around us as we watch the fields being harvested with the bounty from the land and making it’s way to our tables for gathered meals as we give thanks with our families in November and December. This time of gratitude has me thinking of the importance and significance of cultivating a mindset of gratitude in my life. Cultivating a mindset of gratitude is a powerful tool to realign our thoughts and energies and allow us to live life from a state of wise mind and duality. When you practice gratitude you are building a deeper connection with yourself. You are committing to self-awareness, self-reflection, and self-compassion and these are essential tools for supporting your personal growth, mental health and overall well-being. As the saying goes, “What consumes your mind, controls your life.” So why not let gratitude consume our minds and dictate the course of our lives? By shifting your focus to positivity, gratitude not only improves your mental health and self-esteem but also enhances relationships and boosts overall well-being. Learn how practicing gratitude can transform your perspective, leading to a happier, more fulfilled life .Discover the life-changing benefits of gratitude with this 7 day gratitude challenge in this blogpost today!
What is gratitude?
Thankfulness, gratitude, and appreciation are all deeply connected, simply they all mean expressing the pleasant feeling of being thankful and appreciative for something one has received. The word gratitude comes from the Latin word gratus, which means “grateful, pleasant”. Not only is it something we feel and experience but, it is a tool we can use to reframe our perspective. Using gratitude as a tool allows you to shift your focus. From what you believe your reality is towards what you want your reality to be. They are both very real, but you choose to prioritize one over the other.
The Science behind gratitude
It turns out, the benefits of gratitude aren’t just motivational fluff you see on social media everywhere. Scientists have actually shown that gratitude can physically change your brain. This research made me realize that the mind’s ability to “rewire” itself—known as neuroplasticity (A term I Learned while in DBT) —plays a big role here. When we practice gratitude regularly, it strengthens certain neural pathways, just like exercising a muscle. In fact, gratitude activates regions in our brain linked to pleasure, reward, and emotional regulation, including the prefrontal cortex and the hypothalamus. Let’s dig into a bit of it now!
Practicing gratitude effects our brains by stimulating the production of dopamine (a chemical messenger (neurostransmitter) that works in the brain. It helps nerve cells send messages to each other. When dopamine is released in the brain, we feel a sense of temporary pleasure) and serotonin (another messenger which creates a long-lasting feeling of happiness or wellbeing), often referred to as the “feel-good neurotransmitters. These chemicals play a vital role in regulating mood and emotions. By regularly expressing gratitude through different ways in our lives, we essentially train our brains to produce more of these beneficial chemicals!
Researchers have discovered that expressing gratitude can also trigger the release of oxytocin, the hormone responsible for strengthening social bonds and creating feelings of trust and connection. So practicing gratitude not only improves our relationship with ourselves, but also enhances our ability to build and maintain meaningful connections with others and ourselves.
Historical Significance of Gratitude
Historically, the concept of gratitude isn’t new. Many ancient cultures emphasized the importance of thankfulness in their traditions and rituals. For example, the ancient Romans celebrated a festival called “Lectisternium” where they expressed gratitude to their gods for their blessings. The festival of Setsubun central in Japan and Shintoism is a time when they give thanks to the kami and the land for the spring and fertility to come. Plus pagans have many, many holidays centered around gratitude and giving thanks like Mabon,Samhain, Beltane, Hekate’s night, and so on! Honestly there are too many holidays centered on giving thanks to name. Similarly, every religion has holidays, and festivals that are centered around the act of giving thanks, We even have holidays centered around cultural and country specific reasons to give thanks like Thanksgiving in the USA, highlighting its timeless significance to our human existence.
Benefits to practicing gratitude
By dedicating just a few minutes each day to this practice, you can begin to experience a shift in your perspective. You’ll start to notice and appreciate the small joys that make life special, from a sunny day to a kind gesture from a stranger. Ultimately, this simple act of focusing on gratitude for a small pocket of time can lead to profound changes in your mindset and overall well-being like some of the benefits we will explore more below.
Gratitude aligns your with the flow of abundance
When we acknowledge and appreciate the blessings, big or small, that surround us, we invite abundance into our lives. Gratitude shifts our focus from what is lacking to what is plentiful, fostering a sense of contentment and fulfillment allowing us to enter into the flow of abundance. Once in the flow, we are able to connect to the generosity of the multiverse and have all of our needs met.
Gratitude creates a life attracting positivity
Practicing gratitude not only has a positive impact on our mental and emotional well-being but also attracts more positivity into our existence. By expressing thanks for the opportunities, relationships, and experiences we have encountered along our journey, we create space for greater joy and success to manifest. Embracing a mindset of gratitude transforms challenges into valuable lessons and setbacks into steppingstones toward growth and achievement.
Focusing on gratitude builds resilience
Gratitude and having a daily practice focused on it, can help individuals build resilience by encouraging them to find silver lining in challenging situations. When you’re able to see the good even in difficult times, you become more emotionally resilient and better equipped to cope with problems or life changing events as they arise. By acknowledging and appreciating the good, you develop a more balanced perspective, making it easier to cope with challenges by allowing you to access wise mind and use the DBT skills that will be the most effective.
Gratitude reframes our perspective
By focusing more on a habit of gratitude, you learn to reframe your thinking and concentrate on the positive aspects of your life. Our brains have a natural tendency to dwell on negativity, a phenomenon known as the negativity bias. It is an evolutionary survival mechanism that once served a purpose but can now hinder our well-being. In our day and age we don’t always have to be on alert for dangers in the wild to be able to survive and provide for our families. Of course we have a new set of issues nowadays, but our bodies do not have to constantly be in fight or flight mode. By consciously redirecting our attention towards gratitude, we counteract this bias and retrain our brains to notice and appreciate the good things around us. This shift in perspective can significantly improve mental well-being.
Gratitude helps us heal from childhood trauma, abuse, and pain
Learning how to practice gratitude after childhood trauma can help in your healing journey immensely by helping you reach radical acceptance. I know how hard it may seem to practice gratitude, especially when you’ve experienced childhood abuse and trauma. It’s hard to be grateful when we’re born into an unloving home with toxic or abusive parents that makes us doubt our self worth. It seems insensitive or perhaps even offensive to suggest. However, the benefits of gratitude, and practicing gratitude can help with healing from trauma. Also, gratitude doesn’t mean ignoring the fact that bad things did and do happen. It’s possible to feel grateful yet still find that life’s hard sometimes. It isn’t easy, but it can make a difference.
Other benefits of practicing gratitude
Feeling grounded, especially during challenging times
Boosting your mental health and well-being
Allowing your mind to focus on the positive things
Making you more optimistic
Developing a new-found appreciation for the simple things
Cultivating a healthy work-life balance
Relieving stress and overwhelm
Decreasing anxiety and depression
Fewer physical symptoms of illness
Forming a deeper connection with yourself, your surroundings and others
Ways to connect to Gratitude
Gratitude has more power to make our lives happier and healthier than we have ever imagined. Spending a little time each day to practice gratitude makes you consciously and intentionally focus on becoming more grateful for everything around you. It is also a great way to practice being more mindful and helping you shape a reality where you thrive. Feeling and expressing gratitude changed my life. I have more confidence in myself and I see people and situations in my life more compassionately. I have more peace of mind than ever before and I’m more certain that I can design the life I want for myself while maintaining wise mind and duality.
Discover some simple and powerful gratitude rituals below to transform your daily routine and boost your mental well-being. These easy gratitude practices help cultivate mindfulness, positivity, and emotional resilience. Whether you’re new to gratitude practices or looking to deepen your daily routine, these rituals are perfect for anyone seeking peace, happiness, and a life where you thrive in wise mind. Start and/or end your day with a grateful heart and watch how your mindset shifts. When you practice gratitude, it becomes part of all areas of your life. Join me on this 7 day gratitude challenge below and watch your reality become what you truly want and your perspective be reframed.
1.Keep a Daily Gratitude journal
Gratitude means, “the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.” So to practice gratitude is to show your own appreciation of things. Either in your head, out loud or on paper. The most popular form of practicing gratitude comes with journaling and keeping a daily gratitude journal. A gratitude journal is more than just a diary; it’s a dedicated space where you regularly record things you’re thankful for. This simple yet profound practice encourages you to focus on the positive aspects of your life, no matter how small or insignificant they may seem. By doing so, you train your mind to see the good in everyday situations, fostering a more optimistic outlook on life.
So, for day 1 of this gratitude challenge we are going to start are very own daily gratitude journal practice. When you do this find a quiet place you can sit down and simply answer the questions below, Writing down the things, people, surroundings, etc, you are grateful for at that exact moment as you reflect on your day. Try to do your best to make this part of your daily routine from here on out. Here is a link to this gratitude journal for you to download and use as many times as you would like too!
2. Create a gratitude list through a brain dump
For day 2 of this challenge to help us reframe our life with gratitude, we will focus on getting a bigger picture of the things in our life we have to be grateful for. Doing this allows us to reframe our perspective even wider looking past just the day we had today to further beyond. Today’s challenge task is an easy one – make a list of everything you’re grateful for. You have wonderful things in your life already. It’s up to you to notice it. Think about everything you currently have going on in your life (or don’t have going on – in a good way). Take a moment to reflect on these blessings. There is nothing too small for you to be grateful for. You can be grateful for that cup of hot tea you get to enjoy every morning, that playtime with your child, your cat purring as they lay sleeping near by… List everything you can think of in a journal for you to see in one place. Allowing it all to sink in. Each and every single thing you have to be grateful for in your life as a whole.
3.Create a gratitude Jar
For day 3 of this challenge to help us reframe our life with gratitude, we will focus on that bigger picture again. While creating a way for us to come back to it in times of doubt or hardship when we need a little reminder of what we have to be grateful for. We will do this by creating a gratitude jar. So, what is a gratitude jar? A gratitude jar is a manifestation exercise where you add notes of gratitude to a container of your choice. Now, there are a few ways to use this tool of gratitude and a few ways to make it, First way you can choose is to take the list you made in day 2 of this challenge and either cut it into smaller pieces. Or write each thing written there onto sticky notes or smaller cut pieces of paper. Then you can take those pieces place them inside a jar, and leave it in your home somewhere you can see it. That way when you have moments of doubts when you are thinking life is too dark and you can’t go on because you have nothing to hold on for, you can pull as many of those little papers out. Then read them to help you reframe your unwanted and emotional thoughts.
The other option for how you can make this tool today and start using it to reframe your perspective brings more attention to your gratitude practice each day. Take one piece of paper and sit down and think of something that happened or someone who made your day worth being grateful for today. Once you have that in mind write in on your piece of paper then place it inside your jar, coming back every single day to do the same thing. Then whenever you would like come back and open your jar to read all the things you took the time each day to write down you were grateful for. You can go back in a week, at the end of the month, or what is common is to to wait until the end of the year on New Year’s Eve. Don’t forget either you can get creative and decorate your gratitude jar in any way you want as well bringing more joy to this daily practice of gratitude.
4. Express thanks to others in your life
For day 4 of this challenge to help us reframe our life with gratitude is to focus on expressing thanks to others in our life. Think about people that have done something for you at any point in your life. It can be today, yesterday, or even decades ago. Typically, people are grateful for their parents, guardians, caregivers, other family members, spouses, children, and friends. Let me remind you though that you don’t have to be grateful for people who have hurt you, even out of obligation or blood ties. (unless you want to be). So, think about those in your life that have held you up, supported you, and allowed you to grow into the beautiful human that you are. Then find a way to express your gratitude and thanks to them and do it. Whether that be by sending them a random text, getting them a card, or by giving them a gift. Do little and big things for them as they’d do for you. Spend quality time with loved ones. Connect and bond. Savor the moments you get to spend together. Don’t take any of it for granted because you never know how much time you have left with someone. So cherish it while you can. The goal is to make sure they feel your appreciation and how much your think they are truly worth. But, remember a simple “thank you” is usually enough for those who support you with their love. Plus it could also be a small act of kindness to brighten up someone’s otherwise dark day.
5. Prioritize and practice self care
When you practice gratitude you promote self care and end up prioritizing yourself. Because when you practice gratitude you are building a deeper connection with yourself. You are committing to self-awareness, self-reflection, and self-compassion and these are essential tools for supporting your personal growth, mental health and overall well-being. It allows you to truly connect with yourself on a raw, wholehearted level and changes your perspective on things. So, for day 5 of this gratitude challenge I want you to pick an activity that you consider self care and you are grateful you have the ability to do today. Then be as mindful and present as you can while you enjoy and soak up the time of self care you have today. Take in and notice how when you focus on self care it allows you to connect to parts of yourself and things you have to be grateful for in your life. For me when I slow down and focus on me it really allows me to open my eyes, and reframe what I see. Opening me up to more that I have to be grateful and thankful for. To learn more about self care and how vital that is in your life and how it promotes self love as well as gratitude click the link to read my guide here.
6. Spread gratitude through acts of kindness
For day 6 of this gratitude challenge we are going to use a little bit of DBT and bring our focus to gratitude by spreading it to someone else. Sometimes it’s hard to see what we can be grateful for because of life circumstances or our mental sate. If you are having a hard time in life or you are feeling anxious and/or depressed seeing things you can be grateful for may be clouded or something you simply don’t want to do. So, today we are going to use opposite action if we need to and instead of focusing on what we don’t have or what we have lost get out and spread kindness to bring us something to be grateful for. That feeling in our heart that glows and brings us joy plus the smile on the other person’s face is more then enough to be grateful for today.
For day 5 of the challenge today get out and give yourself something to be grateful for by being kind to others today. Spend 30 minutes doing something kind for someone else. This can be something extremely small like leaving a note on their doorstep, sending an email to thank them for all they do, making breakfast for someone, or volunteering your time. Do whatever it is that comes from the heart and makes you feel good inside.
7. Use affirmations of gratitude
For the last and final day of this challenge we are going to use simple yet very affective tool; gratitude affirmations. Gratitude affirmations are a simple tool you can use daily to help you see the beauty that life has to offer. So what are gratitude affirmations? Gratitude affirmations are positive statements that you repeat regularly to stay in wise mind and cultivate a mindset of gratitude. There are so many ways you can use gratitude affirmations in your life. For day 7 of this challenge pick one of the ways you feel called to use them below. Then pick some of the affirmations in the graphic to begin using today. I personally love to say mine out loud when I wake up in the morning and before I close my eyes at night.
Write them in your journal
Choose a new affirmation for each day of the week, then write it on a post-it note to keep by your desk
Choose 3 affirmations to focus on each day and say them out loud to yourself
Set up automated reminders on your phone so you get notified with an affirmation or multiple affirmations throughout the day
Get creative and draw or write an affirmation in your bullet journal
8. Bonus- Shadow work prompts for deepening your gratitude through journaling
Shadow work through journaling focused on gratitude and what we have to be grateful for can bring about a greater sense of contentment. It encourages you to see the glass as half full, which can have a profound impact on your attitudes and overall perspective of life. It brings you to a place where you are able to let of of fear and meet yourself and your life fully. When we journal and do shadow work based on gratitude it helps you become aware of all the goodness in your life. Even the things you may not see as things to be grateful for right now because they live deep within the shadows of your heart. If you would like to learn more about shadow work you can purchase my eBook here; you can book me for a 1:1 session as your guide here; and you can watch my free class previously taught on it through Divination here.
If you want to deepen your journey with gratitude beyond this challenge you can access these bonus shadow work prompts in my FREE shadow work journal here!
Final Thoughts
Showing appreciation for things doesn’t always look like journaling or making a gratitude list. Sometimes it can be as simple as making a language shift. So instead of saying “I have to do this” and feeling resentful or unexcited, change it to “I get to do this” for an instant positive mindset shift. Remember, you don’t “have” to do anything. No one is forcing you. You are the one in control of the choices you make. You “get” to do what you want to do, so feel excited and grateful for these opportunities and life you get to live each and every day.
Don’t forget to also be grateful for yourself! During this gratitude challenge make sure when you go through each day to include things that are only about you. Being grateful for yourself or anything about you is probably one of the hardest things to be grateful for. I know as a childhood abuse and trauma survivor it is for myself. So, if that is please make sure to make this part a priority. No matter how you feel about yourself or how someone else made you feel. There IS something about yourself that you can find to be grateful for. You just have to look for it. Use this challenge to find it and bring it to light in appreciation.
It’s true what they say: gratitude really does have the power to transform your world. Give it a try, and you might just find yourself, like me, realizing that gratitude was one of the missing pieces all along.
We spend so much of our time and lives seeking validation from outside sources. When validation is the most powerful coming from within. It allows us to step into our own power and build our feelings of self worth, self love, and confidence. Self worth and how we feel about ourselves will affect every area of our lives from how we show up for others, how we manifest, and the power of our magic. The importance of looking inward for approval and validation can’t be overstated when it comes to building an intentional life that is meaningful and fulfilling to you. So stop outsourcing your happiness and give this responsibility to the only person who is truly equipped for the job. YOU! Take control of your feelings of worthiness, love and confidence back into your own hands by using this 7 day challenge.
Before we get into the different ways to work on your self-worth, I want to share that I am not a therapist, but I am sharing the work I have personally done when going through cognitive behavioral therapy and Dialectical behavior therapy. These are the tools I’ve used that have helped me work on my own self-worth. Something I have struggled with quite a lot over the years and still sometimes do. Because, I am intimately aware, that many of us are broken people with broken parents from broken homes in a broken world. Trying to make something beautiful and move from a place of just surviving to thriving and being whole. We’re thrust into life without many of the tools for living, and it’s not that those tools don’t exist, but we just don’t have the time, energy, or means always to get access to them. Allow this 7 day challenge to help you bridge the gap and do just that.
What is self worth?
Self-worth is the belief that you are loveable and valuable regardless of how you evaluate your traits. Self-worth is often confused with self-esteem, which relies on external factors such as successes and achievements to define worth and can often be inconsistent leading to someone struggling with feeling worthy. When you think about it, your self-esteem could hit rock bottom, yet you still hold onto the notion that you have innate worth. Self-worth is at the core of our very selves—our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are intimately tied into how we view our worthiness and value as human beings. Self- worth really is a gauge of how much you value, love, and respect yourself.
People with healthy self-worth tend to have greater self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-love. People with high self-worth carry with them a sense of confidence that they will be all right and manage whatever comes their way. They have the ability to live with purpose, intention, and it is much easier to manage their logic and emotions to stay in wise mind. While they are aware of areas in which they can improve, they don’t let their shortcomings or weaknesses define their identity. They are not afraid to pursue opportunities and have reasonable faith in their ability to deliver while pursing their wildest dreams.
What is Self-Validation?
Self-validation involves acknowledging and accepting your strengths, achievements, positive attributes, and emotions. It also involves knowing that having imperfections and making mistakes does not take away from your worth or value. We cant rely on others to make us feel good. When we do, we allow others to dictate our worth. And we don’t trust our own thoughts, feelings, and judgments; we assume others know more than we do and their opinions matter more. Instead, we need to learn how to validate ourselves. Self-validation is a distinctive DBT skill that focuses on accepting the emotions you are experiencing. If you have trouble regulating your emotions, then you probably have a hard time accepting them in the first place as well. Learning to self-validate your emotions will help you cope with the overwhelming emotions we may have, while also allowing you to build up self worth.
Steps for validating yourself
Notice how you feel and what you need.
Accept your feelings and needs without judgment.
Don’t over-identify with your feelings. We want to accept our feelings and also remember that they don’t define us. Notice the subtle, but important, difference when you say I feel angry vs. I am angry or I feel jealous vs. I am jealous. Our feelings are temporary they come and go.
Remember, practice is an important part of learning self-validation!
Make sure your self validation looks like:
Encouraging yourself
Acknowledging your strengths, successes, progress, and effort
Noticing and accepting your feelings
Prioritizing your needs
Treating yourself with kindness
Saying nice things to yourself
Accepting your limitations, flaws, and mistakes
7 day challenge to redefine and boost your self worth
There are things you can do to boost your sense of self-worth and ensure that you value yourself like you ought to be valued; as a full, complete, and wonderful human being that is deserving of love and respect, no matter what. Take control of your feelings of worthiness, love and confidence back into your own hands by using this 7 day challenge to help assess, redefine, and boost your self worth.
1.Become aware The very best thing you can do for yourself is to learn how to become more aware of your thoughts and how they affect your feelings. Our thoughts are incredibly powerful and how we decide to see an event or situation becomes our reality. This is the first step in learning how to validate yourself. You want to start the process of recognizing your thoughts, so you can stop the negativity and reframe how you see a situation, person, or event. Reframing or looking at something differently is what you are doing when you validate yourself. You are asking yourself to stop mentally beating yourself up and start appreciating the things you do well. You are recognizing the ways you are growing as a person and giving yourself the kindness you deserve.
How you can do this today, is by taking a sheet of paper and at the very top writing ” Times I invalidated myself today”. Now, throughout the day keep this paper always by your side and make a tally for each time you invalidate yourself whether out loud or in your mind. If you notice a certain thought pattern, emotion, or phrase coming up repeatedly take note of what it is on the page. Than at the end of the day sit with this page and look at how many times you tore yourself down when you could have built yourself up instead. Give yourself the warmest and most compassionate hug apologizing for forcing your mind to be fixated in place of judgement, pain, and despair. Let yourself know you understand why they may have lashed out or reacted in pain during the day. Than make yourself a promise that you will be more aware of what you think, believe and say to yourself each and every day. Starting by showing up for day two of this challenge tomorrow.
2. Accept that you need acceptance The next step to building up our self worth through validation, is radically accepting that no matter how much we think we don’t care, we all need to feel accepted and loved. I don’t care who you are, where you are from, or how resilient you think you are. Being accepted and feeling like you belong is incredibly powerful and something we all long for. Essentially, it’s part of our DNA being something we are searching for from the moment of our births. We have to be accepted in order to survive. we need to be accepted and cared for by the people around us. At the same time, we must recognize we won’t always get that acceptance in the way we need it or the way we want it. Which means it’s on each of us to love and accept ourselves. To be the ones that can truly fulfill that need no matter where we end up or how alone we are. In order to start the process of validating yourself, you have to start the process of loving and accepting yourself wholly without judgement. That means all parts of yourself, including your thoughts, emotions, actions, opinions, and values.
How you can do this today, is by spending some time doing some brain dumping and journaling focusing on your strengths and weaknesses. This allows you to spend some time with really getting to look at each part of yourself. When you do this you are able to than validate each part of yourself by reframing your thinking and looking at it from another perspective. Seeing how those things you view as weaknesses have actually been hidden gems of resilience and pieces that make us who we are. So, those things that you have listed in the weaknesses column will be moved to the strength column with acceptance, validation, and love.
3. Do the inner work to assess how you currently view your worth
One of the most crucial steps to working on your self worth, is doing the hard and intentional work of assessing how you actually value yourself right now and what you view is your self worth. Depending on where you are at on your journey of healing, self discovery, and inner work this may be a really uncomfortable day for you. This is when you sit down alone, in a quiet, calm and sacred container where you can go deep within your heart. To really ask yourself how much do you value yourself, what is your worth, and why is it at the place it is at?
How you can do this today, is by doing some shadow work. Self discovery is the ultimate goal of shadow work and shadow work prompts are an ideal way to get to the root of your shadow. You can choose different parts of yourself and your shadow to work with each time you delve into the darkness of your soul with shadow work. So, take some time today to use the prompts below to really assess how you truly value yourself. Doing so will allow you to know how much reframing around your self worth may need to happen and provide you with a path to take to boost it to be as high as it can be.
If you would like guided 1:1 help with this you can book me for private shadow sessions in the shop!
4.Don’t Listen to all of your thoughts The next step to building up our self worth through validation, is understanding that you don’t need to listen to every single one of your thoughts. A common expression I heard throughout DBT that stuck with me was, “Just because you have a thought, it doesn’t make it true.” We have 30,000 to 50,000 thoughts a day and research has shown that about 80% of our thoughts are either regrets from the past or fears about the future. Making a huge chunk of our thoughts based not in facts but simply assumptions and emotions. Which means our thoughts aren’t always completely reliable or truthful.
When you validate yourself, you’re asking yourself, “What else can be true?” The act of validation is about looking at a situation and thinking, “OK, this didn’t go as planned. I made a mistake and now I have to decide how I’m going to think about this situation to radically accept and move on.” In that moment, you can beat yourself up and break yourself down or you can challenge your thoughts and decide to ask yourself, “What else can be true?” “What else can I see or learn?” ” What am I responding to emotions, assumptions, or facts?”
How you can do this today is, by taking the time to mindfully sit with a situation you’ve recently reacted to in a way of anger, pain, or hurt. Look back on the situation and think about it from a perspective you may have missed in those moments by checking the facts. Doing this allows you to identify what was emotion and what was fact you were reacting you to. Giving you the ability to validate your reactions while also looking for the places where you can change how you reacted.
5. Speak words of validation to yourself out loud
When was the last time you validated yourself? I am referring to positively recognizing your thoughts, emotions or actions. When was the last time you took a moment to stop the negative chatter in your mind? Stop waiting to hear the positive words, praise or encouragement you’re craving. Tell it to yourself because you’re the only person you have complete control over.
How you can do this today, is by literally revamping your self talk and speaking words of validation out loud to yourself. You can do this anywhere you would like and whenever you would like. I find it the most helpful for myself to speak words of validation out loud to myself in the morning when I wake, when I go to bed, and than anytime throughout the day when I catch myself speaking to myself in an unkind way. I’ll even do it before a big conversation, event, or social outing.
6. Stop people pleasing and set boundaries
We are so conditioned to believe that our value is tied up in what we give instead of who we are. Many of us like myself are taught, self-worth is all about whether or not you are making someone else happy, by doing them a service or giving them things they want. This is what determines whether you’re good enough, you matter, and deserve to be loved. But, after living most of my life as a chronic people pleaser, turning that need into anxiety so extreme it became OCD. I have learned that finding your value in other people will always leave you feeling less than what your true worth is really meant to be.
How you can do this today, is by setting boundaries for yourself or saying no to something today. It’s okay to say no, to set boundaries, it doesn’t make you a selfish or bad person. You’re allowed to give what you receive. You’re allowed to form relationships where it’s give-give instead of give-take. You are allowed to say no. You are allowed to say “I can’t right now.” and most shocking of all; you are allowed to form the opinion that some people do not deserve your help
You do not have to give and give until there’s nothing left. Seek the people who fill you up, who reciprocate what you give, and who respect the boundaries that you make. Take all of that endless love and compassion and time and money that you are always giving other people, and turn a little bit toward yourself. See how good that feels. Don’t chase that feeling of worthiness from other people when you are so capable of filling yourself up and finding others who will appreciate you and respect your boundaries.
7.Determine your definition of self worth
Self-worth is a subjective concept that can fluctuate based on many variables, says Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University. Which means it’s important for us to determine how we ourselves define our own self worth. According to Dr. Romanoff, these are some of the factors that may influence self-worth:
Core beliefs and values Thoughts and feelings Emotions and mental well-being Experiences and interactions with others Relationships, both past and present Health and physical fitness Career and profession Activities and hobbies Community and social status Financial position Physical appearance Childhood experiences
How you can do this today, is by taking the time to sit and mindfully reflect and honestly answer what factors are you using to determine your self worth? Then take the next step to release and let go of things that you are misplacing your value in like what others think of you, the amount of money you have, or your physical appearance.
Wrap Up
It’s important to have self-worth because it impacts everything you do from your relationships, to how you work, how you feel about yourself, and how others view you. Remember, self-worth, is based on your strengths, flaws, and who you truly are at your core when accomplishments, possessions, and acquisitions are stripped away. While it’s fantastic to be proud of your accomplishments and good to be aware of how others perceive you, a sense of self-worth is a vital part of a healthy and thriving existence. Your inherent value as a person does not stem from your accomplishments or what others think of you Ultimately remember You are the only one who determines your self-worth. If you believe you are worthy and valuable, you are worthy and valuable. Even if you don’t believe you are worthy and valuable, guess what—you still are worthy and valuable!
As I felt the life shattering affect of the impact when you hit rock bottom recently; I was reminded of many things. These things I’d Like to write in this letter for myself to remember when I most likely will hit the bottom again and for you. To let you know, you are not alone, to help you shift perspective for survival, and to introduce you to what I believe is your soul.
As I write this, I am still sitting at the bottom of the mountain, after being violently shoved down it. As I tumbled down the slope hitting boulders, ledges, and shrubbery along the way adding more damage with each shocking impact. I sank deeper and deeper into the feelings of despair, hopelessness, and defeat.
When my body, heart, and spirit felt like it quite literally couldn’t take anymore I landed at the bottom of the mountain as a shattered mess, barely breathing, with what I thought was no will left to survive.
When my breathing was ragged, my body was bruised, bones were broken, and my spirit was shattered laying in the dirt with a river of tears streaming by I came face to face with the best part of myself.
The part of myself that is the foundation of who I am. The core of who I am. The tiny bit of myself that has nothing left but the will to fight and survive. The part of myself that can’t be broken down any further. No matter the amount of pressure applied. The part of myself that will drag myself back up no matter how much I am hurt. The part of myself that will adapt to any environment I’m thrown in.
And this tiny bit of myself that I get to be face to face with as I lay broken down, shattered, barely breathing at the bottom of the mountain; I believe may just really be my soul.
Sitting there face to face with my soul at the bottom of the mountain battered, bruised, and broken gave me the companion and the ability to go within and shift my perspective.
A shifting perspective when I landed and got over the shock of the impact was one of the only ways that allowed me to survive and attempt to climb that mountain again.
My soul guiding me to shift my perspective allowed me to truly see my circumstances clearly for what they were. While I couldn’t change my circumstances. I was hurt, barely breathing, short on hope at the bottom of a mountain, nothing was going to change that anytime soon. But….
I could change my view on them. I could change how I felt about them. I could change how I was going to let them affect me. I could change the lesson they would teach me. I could change my entire perspective on the path I was going to climb once I was healed and ready to try again I could take it in and remember that when life seems like its just completely falling apart.
When it feels like you won’t be able to take in one more painful, ragged breath. This mountain you fell down, that shove you were given, every bruise and broken bone you collected as you fell, is just life and the multiverse breaking you to rebuild you into what you were always meant to be.
It’s life showing you another path you should have taken up the mountain instead.
When I shifted my perspective it allowed me to see the potential for growth instead of only the damage I had taken on the fall down.
It gave me the ability to grab the hand of my soul, go deep within and allow the mirror of my shadow to replay the path I had previously attempted and where the fall down the mountain had begun.
Once, my perspective was able to shift the tiny ember of fight, fire, and passion that I didn’t realize had still survived the fall was lit by the warmth of my soul and used to start to rebuild the foundation of who I will be once I completely heal.
That tiny ember of fire being held and cared for by my soul would be the thing that allowed me to survive. And survival was all I could focus on as I looked up laying at the bottom of the mountain. The next breath, the next minute, the next hour, and the next day was what my body, heart, and soul could promise to live for.
I reminded myself that when you are broken, and struggling to breath through the pain it’s okay if survival is all you can focus on. It’s okay if the pain is all you can feel and see. Pain means you are still alive.
It’s okay if survival mode is where you need to be right now, to make sure you keep taking your next breath. Survival mode exists for these times and moments to push us to keep going after we take so much damage we aren’t sure how we will continue on.
Use this time laying at the bottom of the mountain bruised and broken with your soul to shift your perspective, look for a different path you can take on the next climb up, and to allow yourself to heal itself in a whole new way.
This month(June) kicks off LGBT PRIDE month! Pride month is a month dedicated to the celebration and commemoration of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender pride.
Those who identify as bisexual are among those to be included this pride month. But, bisexual people often exist in a grey area, simultaneously ostracized by the LGBTQ+ community as not “gay enough” and heterosexual people as not “straight enough.” Others tell them they are just confused, it was or is a phase, and the even more harsh to here from both communities; it’s not real and all for attention. That may explain why, according to one recent study, most bisexual people say their friends and family don’t know their sexuality.
Coming out as bisexual was a very difficult thing to do and I want to take the time to really talk about and shed light on the whys especially on the fact that we struggle to fit into either community, our identities are questioned often, and how if we are in a hetero or straight appearing relationship it diminishes our identities as bisexuals and/or ostracize us from communities.
I used to be one of those in the most category we talked about earlier in the survey. Until 3 years ago a combination between a new type of therapy and Pride month, allowed me to finally open up about my sexuality, my past, and how much being in the closet was really affecting me. I hadn’t expressed to anyone my sexualtiy not even to my husband who at the time I had been with for a decade. No one knew about my brief relationship with a girl in middle school and high school, my sexual hookups with girls, and the deep feelings of sexual attraction and desire for many of my deep friendships growing up.
People were surprised to say the least, and many didn’t believe me and said or asked quite a handful of hurtful things. I had always been in hetero or straight passing relationships in public and I ended up married in one even. It made it even harder for me since I met my husband so young, and have been together for 13 years now as I write this. Like I said, I hadn’t even discussed it with my husband until he was the first one I came out to right before my cousin and best friend. On top of that, I didn’t come out until I was almost 30 years old, at that point many asked me why it mattered now, including myself.
But, the longer I was in the closet and not public and vocal about my identity; the more I didn’t feel authentic. The more I didn’t feel honest. The more I didn’t feel whole. The more I had actually started to have some guilt in my marriage and resentment as well. And I had reached a point that I needed to figure out why I was so afraid to openly express my sexuality when I was usually so authentic about every other area of my life.
There were three huge reasons I had come up with while in reflection. The first was my hetero or straight appearing relationship really causes a lot of issues with my sexuality. Now, this doesn’t mean my husband isn’t kind and supportive or I was worried of judgement from him. The issue is the image my relationship makes others see and how they perceive me and feel about it me in different communities because of it. From my experience your made to feel, when you are in a hetero or straight relationship you for some reason have to almost just give up and hand over identity as a bisexual. You get questions from the LGBT community and the assumptions made that you are a straight when you are seen with your partner. You get doubted and not believed from the ally or straight community as well and even told, well your married now and to a man so how can you be bisexual anymore? Again, like the whole time it was just confusion and you waiting to make an ultimate choice on your identity and you chose straight.
However, my “gay side” and my “straight side” do not compete. They coexist, regardless of my partner’s gender. This is simply my identity and it doesn’t go away because, of the gender or sexual identity of my life partner. When I really realized this myself it helped me to understand that it shouldn’t matter to myself or anyone else that my relationship appears to others as a hetero or straight relationship. I am and always will be bisexual no matter the gender or identity of the person I am married too.
The second reason it was so hard for me to come out as bisexual was the grey area I talked about in the beginning that made me feel really ostracized in either community. Listening to the way others would talk about those who were bisexual both in the hetero or straight community and in the LGBT community didn’t make it seem like a welcoming and opening space for me to be out in. To be honest I still struggle with this today. In general because of being bisexual and the having to always feel like you are defending your identity, what it means in both communities and defending yourself to be included in the safe spaces. To be questioned about the validity of it, was it phase, were you just confused, and even at times being made to feel like it’s asking for attention. AND this is coming from all sides and both communities which makes it seem like being lonely in the closet may be better than having to defend yourself from all fronts at times.
The third reason was the guilt and resentment that I had started to build up in my marriage. Most of this was my fault. My husband had never given me any reason to believe that I couldn’t be open and honest with him. For me, I just wasn’t ready to come out to anyone at all about it and that had included him for a really long time. I would make comments about my preferences in women and how I found some attractive throughout the years but, I never told him directly about my identity. Eventually I started to feel guilty for not allowing him the chance to be a safe space and also for not being fully honest with him and all parts of who I was. When the guilt got really heavy I even at times felt like I had tricked him into marrying someone he didn’t fully know and that felt wrong and unfair. Which made me had to decide what felt worse the guilt about hiding it from him or the anxiety of coming out to him?
The fourth and final reason it was hard for me to come out as bisexual was I experience straight-passing privilege because of the image my relationship portrays to others. This means that most people assume I am a straight woman in a heterosexual relationship. Which does allow me to at times not have to deal with some challenges and obstacles of those assumptions if I don’t want to. Which led to me feeling guilty and like I almost hadn’t earned the right to be in the LGBT community and in queer spaces especially since I had been in the closet for such a long time.
I eventually realized that guilt is a feeling that you invoke on yourself not others so it was time for me to deal with that on my own while remembering that it was something I needed to be aware. Because, when you let that guilt and straight-passing privilege take over it can lead to the erasing of your bisexuality whether you do it to yourself like I did by not allowing myself out the closet for so long or by others making assumptions about your identity no longer existing. I do my best to also remember it’s normal to not always feel confident in my identity. It’s okay to sometimes feel discomfort, after all sexuality is a spectrum that changes as we evolve with it.
To this day I still experience being questioned, I still have to be vocal in public spaces and openly identify myself to feel like I am not allowing straight-passing privilege to erase my bisexuality, and at times I have to still struggle with feelings of guilt when in queer safe spaces and especially during pride month it gets a spotlight shown on it. I do my best to hold onto my bisexuality though and not allow it to be erased because of my hetero or straight passing relationship. Some of the ways I do that is by trying to be vocal and open about my identity, until recently I had a flag in the front window of my home ( it will be replaced), I talk about my identity often with others, and I bring awareness to my relationship and others on my social media when I can. I attend pride events and try to be in queer safe spaces and communities and find ways to bring my bisexuality into my life through shows I watch, conversations with my husband, and into my sex life without cheating.
What I ask of you if you took the time to read about my experience this pride month is if you are bisexual and in closest I hope this helped you feel safer, and seen. I hope it let you know you are not alone and there actually is a much bigger community of others out there for you to connect with. Especially if you are in a hetero or straight appearing relationship. Since, I came out of the closet I have had more than a handful of other women confide in me they identify the same way and I guard some of their doors still. Most importantly remember being bisexual doesn’t mean you shouldn’t find safety and belong in queer safe spaces.
If you are not bisexual I ask that you remember being bisexual isn’t a phase, or confusion for someone you love if that is how they identify. Even if they end up choosing a life partner that has them appear to be in a hetero or straight appearing relationship. It doesn’t suddenly make them no longer bisexual. Please don’t try and erase that part of their identity from who they are. This pride month if they are out of the closet and vocal about it don’t forget about them. Don’t allow them to be overlooked especially if they are in a hetero or straight appearing relationship. Their existence isn’t any less valid in the LGBT community this pride month. Remind them that their relationship doesn’t make them any less valid in the LGBT community and it shouldn’t make them feel that way either or like they have to hide in the closet if they still are.
May is mental health awareness month. For many this points a spotlight on mental health and mental illnesses when they may not always think about it and they seek to learn more. While for others it may be a month to focus on improving mental health, healing, and using skills to create a life worth living while living with mental illnesses. Even yet, this month could be the push someone needed to seek help, treatment, or to go and get a diagnosis for the first time.
For myself it becomes a month focused on reflecting on how balanced I currently am, to check in with how well I am using mental health skills and techniques to maintain a healthy mental state, and to really look at my own personal relationship with my mental health and mental illnesses. While reflecting and really looking at my mental health and my relationship currently with mental illnesses this month was a little different for me than in past years because, I wanted to write about it. I have written and rewritten this post so many times this month because during my reflection process my answer would change. I would write an open letter about the illnesses I live with ( OCD, PTSD, Bipolar, BPD, and a few more) and it just wouldn’t feel whole. I would pick my favorite DBT skills to talk about this month and it wouldn’t feel like enough for bringing awareness.
So, I kept waiting, reflecting and rewriting and after a interpersonal conflict which put me in a really unbalanced and depressed state of mind. Where some things were said that were hurtful had pushed me to think about myself, my reactions, and if my view on reality were causing imbalance and unhappiness in my life. Which lead me to really think about the topic I landed on for this blogpost. The fact that I am not my mental illnesses, they don’t define who I am AND because I live with them they do shape my reality and how I experience the world.
I often forget that my mental illnesses don’t define me. I work so hard to try to raise awareness of these illnesses and how they affect your brain chemistry and makeup. I focus so much on wanting people to understand that these illnesses are not just in your head, they are real and they affect your brain chemistry and makeup. That at times I feel I almost let them become my whole identity unintentionally.
I also forget this when I start to struggle. I start to sink into the unwanted parts of my mental illnesses and I begin to believe that’s who I am and all the negative stigmas that are attached to them. When I feel overwhelmed by my symptoms, I try to remind myself that my illnesses are not me. I have to remind myself that my mental illnesses don’t disqualify me from being a mother, and that they can’t stop me from doing anything. I than remind others of the same thing once I am back to believing it, because sadly not everyone in my life agrees with this. Some believe that just having a mental illness means I shouldn’t even be mother.
While all the above is true and I work really hard to do my best to remember that and to remind others. The other half of this is recognizing that although they do not define me and who I am, my mental illnesses do shape my reality, how I experience the world, and how I interact with others. Some of the mental illnesses I have can never be “cured” and some I can’t be medicated for either. Though I can develop a healthy lifestyle based on therapeutic skills to help live a much more happy, balanced and stable life with them. They will always be apart of my life and my reality.
So, what does that mean and why does it matter? For myself I live with bipolar disorder and BPD which can cause some ping ponging on my feelings, thoughts, reactions, and even at times my beliefs. On top of that you through the extreme anxiety that comes with OCD and triggers from PTSD. This undoubtedly means my perception of reality will be affected by these things in ways others may not have to experience. On top of that it will affect how I interact with others and even with myself. This means I can’t allow myself to believe so deeply that I am not defined by my mental illnesses that I completely forget how they affect my perception and my place in this world. That I unintentionally put myself into denial of their existence and allow myself to not maintain healthy mental health and let my mental illnesses affect myself and my life in unwanted ways. This also means that when I interact with others I have to remember they may not be experiencing reality from my perception. And I ask others to do the same with me.
Whether you chose to read this because you live your life with mental illnesses or you have those in your life you love who do or simply to gain some insight and awareness. The main things I really want you to take from are the following. Living with a mental illness doesn’t define you. It doesn’t dictate who you are, who you can become or what you can accomplish. It may look a little different or you have to go a different path to get there but, they don’t dictate that at all. They don’t disqualify you from any part of a happy, thriving life you dream of. All you have to do is find the skills THAT HELP YOU achieve that. AND; still remember that you do live with them. They will affect your day to day life, how you view reality through perception and how you interact with and perceive others. Don’t allow yourself to forget that and neglect your mental health hygiene and skills and lead to unwanted effects resonating throughout the areas of your life.
Mental Health Awareness Resources Please note that all of these resources are available at any time of day or night and are all free of charge. If you are struggling or know someone who is, please do not hesitate to reach out. These hotlines are there for the very specific purpose of helping you.
If you are having thoughts of suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be connected to a trained crisis counselor who will treat you with respect and listen to you. They can help you identify options in your area. If texting seems more your speed, you can text NAMI to741-741. This will connect you to a trained crisis counselor. They are available 24/7. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is also available 24/7. You can reach them at 800-799-SAFE (7233). Victims of domestic violence often suffer from depression and anxiety. Victims of sexual assault often struggle with fear, depression, anger, and anxiety. You can reach the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673).
Favorite Sites For Mental Health Awareness There are many great websites that focus on mental health awareness. The following are highly recommended.
National Alliance on Mental Health (NAMI) Harvard Medical School – Has great pages focused on mental health issues Mental Health America National Institute of Mental Health Active Minds – specializes in teens and young adults Project Semicolon – dedicated to suicide prevention
If you or a loved one are struggling with any type of mental health concern, please reach out to a professional who can offer support, advice, and direction. You are not alone. Millions of other people are facing similar struggles. And millions have faced them and come through the other side wiser, stronger, and healthier. Take the time and effort this May to educated yourself and become more aware of the mental health issues in your range of influence and experience. You never know how or where you can make a difference.
The last thing I will leave you with are some mental health statistics to remind how relevant this is to each one of us!
The following statistics were found at the National Alliance on Mental Health website.
1 in five American adults will experience a mental illness
Nearly 1 in 25 Americans live with a serious mental illness
18% of American adults live with an anxiety disorder
Almost 7% of American adults live with major depression
Depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide.
Depression costs the U.S. $193 billion in lost earnings every year.
Suicide rates in the U.S. have risen 25% in the last 20 years
20% of American youth (ages 13-18) have a mental health condition
Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death in American youth ages 10-24. It is the 10th leading cause of death for Americans overall.
The average delay between onset of mental health symptoms and treatment is 10 years
Almost 60% of American adults with a mental illness did not receive treatment in the last year.
Minorities are much less likely to receive treatment for mental illness
“The day I gave birth to my child was the happiest day of my life, I’ll never forget it.” This is a common thing I hear and read from other parents when it comes to their child’s birthday. Everytime I read or hear it, a few things happen; I get overwhelmed with guilt, my PTSD gets triggered, I get sad and many other things happen. May seem odd right? Of course, I feel happiness, joy, pride and all things that come with my child getting older but, I also get hit with a lot of unwanted things as well. Even as I write this now, I’m triggered and writing this post as a way to cope, since my son’s birthday is less than 48 hours away. So, why would I be feeling anything but, happiness, joy, excitement etc when it comes to my son’s birthday? For me, my birthing experience clouds my son’s entrance into this world with pain, trauma, and almost death, and that energy carries forward to affect what’s supposed to be a joyous day.
Let’s talk about how that can be, and ways I cope with it to allow as much joy, happiness and excitement in so I can be as mindful and present as I can be for such a special day.
Not, everyone’s birthing experience is the same
If you had a fairly easy and/or average birthing experience I am overjoyed for you and I can understand how this would make very little sense to you. But, we do not all experience pregnancy the same nor do we have the same birthing experiences. For some of us our birthing experiences become a very dark cloud full of unwanted energy, memories, and triggers.
My birthing experience was beyond painful, traumatic, involved over 42 hours of labor, metal rods placed in my cervix, my epidural being given late, and I almost died. As you can imagine, having all of that happen doesn’t make giving birth a memory my brain likes to go to often. Being reminded of my birthing story makes me relive it, causes PTSD, and a spiral of unwanted emotions that follow. I don’t think of my birthing story often but, what is going to trigger the memories of my birthing story the most? The day it happened; which also happens to be the day I am celebrating my child entering the world.
The day becomes a tug of war
I end up in this tug of war between emotions, triggers, and flashbacks. I deeply want to be mindful and present to soak up the joy, laughter and excitement of my son growing and celebrating. And yet, I get tugged and pulled to the other side. Where I am reminded of what almost dying feels like, of losing my entire family, the pain I experienced, the mental health crisis it caused my husband to go through having to watch, and the guilt I feel for the joy not outshining all of the trauma, and pain. I have moments where I simply break down and cry, where looking at my son can cause me to shake, and the shame/guilt spiral can get out of control.
So, how do I cope, center, and enjoy the day
In other PTSD-related situations, it’s advised to avoid triggers, but your own child’s birthday isn’t really avoidable and you don’t really want it to be. I dig into my tool kit of coping skills and pull out and use any and/or all of them that I need to be mindful and present.
Distraction– Sometimes your best option is to simply distract yourself and try to redirect your energy, thought, and emotions. This isn’t always my favorite option though because, it’s more of a bandaid and it does not allow you to be completely present in the joy and excitement of the day.
Use distress tolerance skills– A few distress tolerance skills are really helpful to recenter and get yourself back to wisemind especially if flashbacks are an issue. So,use the STOP skill to literally stop and take a moment. Or chose the TIPS skill to redirect your body and rewire your current thought pattern.
Acknowledge- Take the time to name it. Name what it is you are exactly feeling and/or experiencing and why. Giving a name to it give it power, and you need to know what you are feeling or dealing with in order to cope effectively.
Let go of judgement– Stop judging yourself and your emotions for feeling anything other than joy. All emotions are valid and serve a purpose you just have to keep them at a justifiable level. So, let go of judgement if you get triggered, need to step away for a moment, or for simply feeling what you feel.
Set aside time for mindfulness practices– Take the time to set aside your own alone time to practice mindfulness. This allows you to set yourself up for success, experience the emotions you need to fully and safely, and may lessen the amount of triggers and/or unwanted emotions you may feel.
Practice Self- care for yourself– Even though this day is suppose to be all about your child it’s okay to take some time to love yourself through self care activities as well. To help you with any triggers or unwanted emotions coming up. Giving yourself some self love allows you to have enough to give to your child on as well.
Practice Radical Acceptance– When we are triggered by trauma and events some of the most freeing work you can do is to work on radically accepting the situation and event for what it is was, and how it affects you. Doing this allows the intensity of emotions to lessen, our understanding of the situation to change, and opens up a door for healing to begin.
Wrap Up
The reality of trauma is that the body and mind can hold memories of the traumatic experience, long after the situation itself has passed. These memories can be triggered by certain sights, sounds and places, as well as dates throughout the year that are significant to the trauma in some way like our child’s birthday. So, if you notice that each year, around the time of your child’s birthday you start to feel increasingly anxious, withdrawn or emotional, or unable to sleep. Or in the lead up; you start to experience flashbacks or bad dreams. You may be experiencing a memory of trauma. Remember, don’t judge yourself, practice mindfulness, use your skills, practice self care and radical acceptance. So, you can hopefully be present and mindful for what you want to be a joyous celebration.
Full moons are intense, emotional, and deeply connected to our subconscious and our psyche which can have a profound affect on us as humans. The moon’s soft light has the ability to shine some clarity on our more hidden caverns, those emotional realms we may not consciously choose to explore. This exploration can be overwhelming, draining, and exhausting. To add to that the moon also physically rules our hormones and having the moon illuminating it’s focus on our bodies may send our hormones out of balance which can affect our emotions and our reaction to others. This can leave us feeling tired, groggy, unfocused, and just emotionally exhausted and if it is does you may experiencing what is becoming more commonly known as a moon or full moon hangover!
What is a moon hangover?
We all know that the word lunatic originates from the Latin word for moon: luna. Though lunatic is an unsavory word now, it points to a long understanding that strange things—and strange feelings—tend to occur around the lunar phases so this isn’t a new concept and has been around for centuries. It just more recently has been coined with the terms Moon or full moon hangover. So What is a moon or full moon hangover?
The way that a moon hangover looks for each of us is different and affects us differently and it may look different based on the zodiac sign the moon is in as well. But, overall a moon hangover is when you are emotionally, mentally, and physically drained after experiencing the restructuring of your existence under the full moon. How it will affect us may look like, affecting our sleep patterns, which in turn alters hormone levels, leaving us feeling feel raw and drained. For others, they may lack mental clarity and be experiencing some brain fog.
Others may completely lack motivation to get anything done or even participate in life. One of the most common affects is getting stuck in our head and stuck in unwanted emotions. Because, the full moon is all about sending us into caverns of our emotions we don’t normal visit it can cause some of us to get stuck in trauma loops, to ruminate, and to get stuck in thought patterns we would rather not be in.
It may not all be unwanted affects though, if you are working through sadness or grief, the full moon can augment these feelings to the point of catharsis and/or resolve; or, if you are moving through a period of growth and expansion, the full moon may amplify this energy into a culmination which can lead to a burst of awakening energy during the full moon as well.
When do they occur?
They’re strongest right around when the full moon occurs (the day before, of, and after). However, the impact of Full Moons can last for about two weeks before and after (starting after the previous New Moon and lasting until the next New Moon). We’ll usually feel the Full Moon hangover starting a few days before and for a week after the Full Moon. Depending on what the Full Moon is doing for you personally and what other astrology you have going on, this may last longer, but in general, it’s about a week and a half long. The most intense period to feel this will be the day before and after, for up to 3 days after.
What is the Full moon?
Over the centuries, the Moon has played a significant role in different cultures and traditions. The full moon simply put is when the moon is completely illuminated in the sky and it has reached it’s peak in this lunar cycle in the sky. When the moon is completely illuminated it’s time for all to reach full expression. The full moon is the most powerful and potent time of the entire lunar cycle.
With the moon being fully illuminated it creates this portal to some of the most potent energy to connect to for us to manifest our desires and dream life. This portal creates a connection to our peak creative energy and the deep seated creative passions we all have within us. This creative energy and power is the energy we need to actually do and create the things and lifestyle we need to manifest what we desire. With the new moon phase being about planting the seeds of what you want to manifest, the full moon is about actually doing the work and moving the energy to make your manifesting happen. The full moon allows you to bridge the connection between these energies and themes and bring them into your life while reminding you how important it is to have them in your life not only when the moon is illuminated in the sky for you to see.
There is no “cure” for a moon hangover but, there are some things you can do to help ease the affects if they become to much for you or are unwanted.
Take note of how it is affecting you
First thing for you to do is take note of what is going on and become aware of how the full moon is affecting you. Are you more tired and groggy? Are your emotions bouncing all over the place? Have you lost motivation? Are you ruminating? You need to be aware of how it is affecting you in order to properly ease the affects. It also gives you the ability to prep and prepare for the next one even!
Rest, Rest, Rest
Get some rest! When our bodies, souls, and brains are being overwhelmed and bombarded with sensations and emotions it can be physically exhausting and draining. And remember the moon rules over our hormones and when they are out of balance and all over the place it can cause us to be physically tired as well. On top of that, when you are looking into the caverns of your emotions, traumas, and things you would rather not deal with, your mind gets tired as well. When you get some good rest your brain has the ability to shut down, process the information and emotions and reset your mental clarity. So, if brain fog is an issue right now for you rest will also help with this. So rest and lots of it is going to be crucial right now with so many things potentially draining our energy.
Comfort yourself, and stay in your comfort zone
Comfort and familiarity can go a long way, so you may want to stick to the people who support you best and the places that feel most comfortable. Stepping outside of your comfort zone might just add to your emotions right now. Take some time to do things that bring your comfort, make you feel safe, and fill you with self love.
Stay Hydrated
The moon is deeply connected to the element of water and the fact that we as humans are made up of so much is another reason we are so affected by it! So, one way to help us lessen the affects of the moon hangover right now is to make sure we are hydrated. So, drink water to nourish your body and create an integration between yourself and the element associated with the moon.
Do things tied to the Zodiac sign the moon is in
Each full moon we experience will have a slightly different affect on us based on the zodiac sign the moon is currently in. The energy the zodiac sign is in will affect different parts of our bodies, different areas of our lives, and we will venture into different caverns of who we are based on that signs energy. So, one of the best ways to help deal with a moon hangover is to make sure we are tapping into the specific energy and doing magic, and activities aligned with it. We feel less drained and overwhelmed when we are in alignment with the energies affecting us.
For, example as I write this we are experiencing a moon in the sign of Scorpio which is deeply rooted to our sexual passions and desires. So, to help ease the overwhelming energies of it that are making me exhausted from an insane sex drive right now, I have made sure to participate in sex magic for the last week straight. Doing this has kept me in alignment with the energy and allowed me to not let it overwhelm me to the point of getting stuck in unwanted feelings, and being emotionally drained and exhausted in this area of my life.
Do some grounding and/or earthing
One of the possible affects of a moon hangover we talked about was experiencing unwanted emotions, rumination, and trauma loops. How do we combat that? There are many ways to do this from breathwork, using DBT skills, meditation and more. But, one of the best ways to do this is through grounding and earthing. So, take the time to ground yourself to who you are, to the earth, and to the universal energies all around you. If you need to learn more about how to ground you can do so by watching my free class with Divination Academy here; https://youtu.be/eDkacr-CXoU?si=UgZnzrd5B05UhHZh
Explore those caverns with Shadow work
The full moon is really illuminating those dark caverns of who we are and trying to be a guide to allow us access to them. To help ease this overwhelm and the draining feelings it may be causing instead of running from those caverns lean in and follow those moonbeams of light into them. You can do this by doing some shadow work right now. Shadow work will help you enter those caverns, face what is being illuminated and work with it in a way to integrate it into your every day life. To learn more about how to do shadow work you can watch my free class all about it below and you can book me for a 1:1 guided session here; https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61555318986253
You are a creature of this earth, inseparable from the energetic and physical pulls of nature’s cycles. Allow the full moon to do her work on you. And if the affects seem like too much and you need to ease them make some notes of what you need to do during this full moon hangover period, to help you prepare for the next one!
Energy! Nothing is solid; Everything is made up of energy. Me. You. Your family. The chair you’re sitting on. Your bed. The ground you walk on. That’s why energy work is so important. The language of our higher self is spoken to us through our intuition and intuition communicates with us through the language of energy. It allows us to understand the world around us, both in practical everyday matters and in the mystical and sacred stuff!
Because we are always moving in a sea of energy, and that energy is feeding our energetic body, it informs us of what is happening around us. It is important that we pay attention to how this process works. Just as we can live better by knowing how the food we eat affects us, we can do the same with knowing how energy affects us, and how to nurture it and bring ourselves into mental and physical balance.
On top of this, we can use energy to pick up information around us and become more intuitive. Having great intuitive skills enhances our lives, giving us comfort knowing where to go and what to do through our inner guidance. By learning how to develop our intuition coupled with learning about energy, we become powerful in our connection to divine wisdom.
Why knowing about energy is so important
Part of being good at rituals, spells, magick is having a solid relationship with energy. If you think about it with any magickal work that you are doing you are working with energy. It’s incredibly important to understand that energy and to know how to work with it in order to find the most success in your work.
You have to develop a relationship with energy in order to be able to work with it in the best way. Everything in the world is made up of energy so the more types of relationships you have the more success you will find.
Energy Work
What is energy work, and what are some of the options out there? Energy work is simply put tapping into the body’s own frequencies to promote well-being.
Energy work is any work that involves changes to the human energy field or subtle body. It is commonly used as part of a holistic healing regimen or alternative medicine. The practitioner makes adjustments to the flow of life energy using various techniques including acupuncture, acupressure or may use crystals or their own energy through Reiki or Laying on of hands.
Energy work is the intentional effort to manipulate your or someone else’s energy for spiritual, emotional, or physical healing. There are countless modalities of energy work practices in cultures around the world. You can perform energy work on yourself or seek it out from a professional.
Energy work affects both the subtle body system (the energetic body) and the physical body in various ways. The subtle body system shows up differently across cultures. Here are some of the subtle body systems we see across the world: chakras and nadis (Hinduism), meridians (Chinese Medicine), the three cauldrons (Celtic), aura (cross-cultural), Ojos de luz (Incan energy system), and the list goes on. Most cultures around the world have some reference of an energy or subtle body system.
Energy work and magic
Magic is probably the purest, the most basic, and the oldest form of energy work there is. Plus if you think about it almost all magical workings can be classified as energy work. Because magic itself is the practice of manipulating and changing energy. You do not have to practice witchcraft to do Energy Magic. You are just you. you have a power within you that is divine. This power allows you to merge, draw upon, and contain for a few moments an ancient force and then propel it in the direction where someone asks for help.
History
Energy work has been around for 1000’s of years across many cultures.
The ancient eastern medicine masters learned 5,000 years ago that energy makes up everything in the Universe, including our bodies and our minds. While the Western world is beginning to scientifically prove that everything is energy, the Eastern philosophies have figured out how to manipulate it to create health, wellness and even abundance.
The spiritual tradition of energetic healing was commonly used throughout ancient India and China. In India, energetic work is based in the belief of Prana, or universal energy, breathing life into all things. In China, vital life-giving energy is referred to as Chi. Chi is made up of two opposing forces, Ying and Yang. When these forces are balanced, optimal health is displayed.
Energy Flow
All energy does is flow. It is us who have blockages that makes the flow of energy need to re-route itself. This stream of life-force energy is always flowing through you. The more you allow it the more it will flow.
Within the natural world there is a primal energy force. It is what people sense when they are out in nature, that uplifting energy that makes people feel better. But what we sense as humans only scratches the surface. This energy is as ancient as the Earth, and it stems from an energy that is as ancient as the Universe itself. Magic is created using this primal, natural force of nature. The caster of any spell is a conduit for this energy.
Energy System- Chakra system
Chakras are wheels of energy within our bodies and interwoven with our auras. If your chakras are blocked, negative vibrations, attachments and illness occurs. The seven chakras are the main energy centers of the body within Indian culture and practice within the buddhist and hindu religions. Chakra translates to “wheel” in Sanskrit, and you can imagine them like wheels of free-flowing positive energy. Chakras are used to describe the way energy “moves” throughout the body. Each of the seven chakras are said to correlate with different abilities, expressions, and types of health.
Each person has 7 major chakras aligned along the spine from the top of your head to the bottom of your spine. When energy flows freely through our chakras, it flows freely through our entire bodies including our physical, emotional, mental, and astral bodies. When the chakras are blocked or imbalanced, energy doesn’t flow and therefore causes issues throughout the person’s entire being.
Root Chakra
Your root chakra is a spinning wheel of energy located at the base of your spine. It’s color is dark red to black and links us to the energy of the earth beneath us. If you’re grounded and connected to the Earth’s energy, your root chakra will be unblocked and spinning freely. You attract financial prosperity and have a level head.
The Muladhara, or root chakra, represents our foundation. On the human body, it sits at the base of the spine and gives us the feeling of being grounded.
When the root chakra is open, we feel confident in our ability to withstand challenges and stand on our own two feet. When it’s blocked, we feel threatened, as if we’re standing on unstable ground.
When Your Root Chakra is Blocked…
When your root chakra is blocked, you may feel scattered and have financial problems or money blocks. You feel disconnected to the earth and anxious. You may even have back or hip pain or problems – reasons to unblock chakras ASAP. In addition, your spirituality may suffer when it comes specifically to ancestor work. Why? Because the ancestors dwell in the earth, in the roots of the World Tree below our feet. And as our root chakra connects us to the earth, it also connects us to our ancestors.
Sacral Chakra
Your sacral chakra is the wheel of energy located between your navel and coccyx. It spins in the area of your reproductive organs and is the color orange. The sacral chakra represents sexual health and creativity. When it’s unblocked, you express your sexuality in a healthy way AND creativity flows into all aspects of your life.
The Swadhisthana, or sacral chakra, helps inform how we relate to our emotions and the emotions of others. It also governs creativity and sexual energy. Those with a blocked sacral chakra could feel a lack of control in their lives.
When the sacral chakra is blocked…
Your sacral chakra governs sexuality, so when it’s blocked sexuality isn’t expressed or satiated. You may have blocked sexual energy, be confused about your sexuality, have low libido OR struggle with imagination and creative thought put into action. Illness, infertility and infection with sexual or urinary organs may also be present. For men – prostate issues may also arise. And, as the sacral chakra is located near the lower intestines and bowels, your digestive system may also suffer. Mentally, your creative ideas might not come to fruition if the sacral chakra is blocked.
Solar Plexus
Your solar plexus IMO is one of the most important chakras in your body. It’s located between the bottom of the sternum and above the belly button. The solar plexus is a yellow color and connects us to the divine energy of the sun and the light. It is your energy zone that supports self esteem, courage, and your personal power. If your solar plexus is healthy, you exude confidence and tackle goals with clarity and fervor. People may see you as vivacious and lively.
The third chakra, the solar plexus chakra, speaks to your ability to be confident and in control of your life. Think back to the last time you had butterflies or felt a pit in the stomach: That’s the Manipura chakra at work.
If your solar plexus chakra is blocked, you might feel overwhelming amounts of shame and self-doubt. Those with open sacral chakras are free to express their true selves.
When your solar plexus is blocked…
you may struggle with self esteem and confidence. You look in the mirror and don’t recognize your true power and beauty. Depression may result from a blocked solar plexus, as well as struggles with career paths, maintaining healthy relationships, making new friends, etc. Digestive illness and problems may surface. A blockage of masculine energy could also be present because of disconnection with the sun.
Heart Chakra
Your heart chakra is located over and through your heart. In the middle and middle-left of your chest. It’s green in color and manages all things related to love in your life – romantic love, friendships, family members, etc. It also governs self-love. If your heart chakra is freely aligned, you give and accept love freely, maintain healthy relationships, and love yourself wholly.
The Anahata, or heart chakra, is the bridge between the lower chakras (associated with materiality) and the upper chakras (associated with spirituality). As the name suggests, this chakra can influence our ability to give and receive love—from others and ourselves.
Someone with a blocked heart chakra will have difficulty fully opening up to the people in their life. If someone’s heart is open, they can experience deep compassion and empathy.
If your heart chakra is blocked…
you have trouble loving yourself and may engage in reckless behaviors to self-medicate the emptiness. Low self esteem and feeling isolated from others. You may be overly-defensive and don’t trust others. You may also have heart or lung problems. Arterial and vascular problems may also arise from a blocked heart chakra. If your heart chakra is imbalanced, you likely have problems loving yourself and others. And lose your fervor for love.
Throat Chakra
Your throat chakra is located over your throat in the middle of your neck. It’s blue in color and governs how you speak to others and how you speak of yourself. Communication is the key aspect of the throat chakra and relates to ALL forms of communication including writing and music. It’s how you express (or don’t) express your truth. If your throat chakra is functioning well, you communicate your feelings and needs with others in a healthy manner AND express your true self.
The Vishuddha, or throat chakra, gives voice to the heart chakra and controls our ability to communicate our personal power.
When it’s functioning at full capacity, it allows us to express ourselves truly and clearly. Someone with a blocked throat chakra will feel like they have trouble finding the words to say how they truly feel.
When your throat chakra is blocked…
you may have a problem with pathological lying or simply “stuffing down” your feelings. You are afraid to be yourself and express your truth. Communication is blocked in your relationships and with yourself. Throat, digestive and thyroid problems may occur.
Third eye
Your third eye is located between your brows, slightly above the bridge of your nose. It’s purple in color and allows you to see the truth in others, energy in the spiritual realms, and brings clarity of mind and soul. When your third eye is open, you see the beauty in the world and in others, as well as being able to see auras, invisible truths, etc. Your ability to tap into psychic awareness comes easily.
As we move up the body, we’re getting closer to communion with the divine. The Anja, or third-eye chakra, controls our ability to see the big picture and connect to intuition. Think of it as the eye of the soul: It registers information beyond the surface level.
Visions and intuitive hits are not uncommon for someone with an open third-eye chakra.
When your third eye is blocked…
You have a spiritual block and don’t see the beauty in others or the world around you. Signs from the universe go unnoticed. You feel disconnected from others and your own spirituality. Headaches, sinus infections, eye problems and other head illnesses may occur. This is a common chakra blocked with many people due to the way society functions. We are taught not to believe, not to see. To focus on what’s directly in front of us. And therefore, ignore our third eyes.
Crown Chakra
Your crown chakra is located at the very top of your head and is the color white. It is your direct link to the energy of the universe – to Source energy a.k.a. God,Goddess, or the Divine. Its your source of spiritual connection and gives you the ability to hear god’s voice, accept divine healing, and feel the presence of your guides and angels.
The Sahasrara, or crown chakra, the highest chakra, sits at the crown of the head and represents our ability to be fully connected spiritually. When you fully open your crown chakra—something very few people ever do!—you’re able to access a higher consciousness.
When your crown chakra is blocked…
you may not believe in god or any other power outside of physicality. Hearing divine guidance or feeling the presence of spirit guides is non-existent. You may feel “unlucky” or angry because of past traumas. You’ll feel disconnected spiritually and alone in the universe. Headaches, migraines, and other neurological illnesses may occur. Sensory processing issues could surface, as well as issues with dizziness and regulating temperature and sensory stimulus.
Chi-China
Chi is your life force, the energy that flows through you and through everything. It is that which gives you life.
The concept of chi (also spelt Qi) has its roots in Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) and Martial Arts. But the idea of a vital life force energy and its role in our health can be found in many cultures. For example, in yoga and Ayurveda we describe this life force as Prana.
Chi energy moves through the body like breath and blood and is nourished by a healthy diet, enough sleep and movement practices, however its qualities go beyond the physical or tangible.
Chi can be described as the purest energy that arises out of consciousness, awareness, stillness – through you into your body and all expressions of life. Chi in short can be described as the essence of your true self. Chi is the bridge between physical form and pure awareness
Chi energy is like a bridge between your form, which is your body, your thoughts, emotions, sensations, and the formless which is your essence, consciousness, awareness. In a way, when we trace chi back from form to formless, this is the journey of being on the spiritual path. Various practices including Qigong, Tai Chi, yoga, pranayama (breathing exercises), acupuncture and working with marma points all work to support the free flow of chi or prana. They work on strengthening chi and removing any blockages.
The Three Celtic Cauldrons
What is it? Well, the Cauldron of Poesy is a medieval Irish bardic poem extolling the virtues of a trio of metaphysical cauldrons located within the human body.
The three cauldrons the poem talks about are the Cauldron of Warming, the Cauldron of Motion, and the Cauldron of Wisdom. Each cauldron is positioned in a different part of the human body. The Cauldron of Warming is located within the pelvic region, in the depths of our bellies. The Cauldron of Motion is located in the center of the chest, where our heart and lungs reside. Lastly, the Cauldron of Wisdom can be found within our head or sitting on top of it like a crown.
The poem further explains that when we’re born, these spiritual cauldrons are situated differently. Upon birth, the Cauldron of Warming is found in the upright position—basically how we expect a cauldron to sit normally. It is said to contain the basic energy and wisdom we need to live, breathe, grow, and survive at the instinctual level. It can be upset by sickness or unhealthy choices, though.
The Cauldron of Motion is supposedly on its side when we are born, meaning that it is partially empty. Being situated close to the heart, we can connect the Cauldron of Motion to what inspires us—what makes us move. As we pursue what we love and immerse ourselves in culture, the cauldron shifts into the upright position. When we deny ourselves artistry and emotional exploration, we can feel drained and unbalanced. If we immerse ourselves too much, we can flood ourselves and unbalance ourselves physically and mentally.
Lastly, we come into the world with the Cauldron of Wisdom completely overturned and empty. This cauldron guides our spiritual development—exploring the divine, our own places in the universe, and each other. We can upright and fill this cauldron as we become aware of our purpose and seek to make wise choices on our paths.
Each cauldron can be in one of three positions: upright, tilted, or inverted. The position indicates the ability of a cauldron to function. An upright cauldron can hold and ‘cook’ its ingredients; a tilted cauldron allows ingredients to slip away; an inverted cauldron cannot hold on to anything.
Why to use this method?
It resonates with a threefold idea of how many have viewed human consciousness/divinity. Coincidentally, there are a multitude of practices and belief systems from all over the world that see the human soul as being made of three parts. In the Modern Tradition of Witchcraft, we identify the three parts as the animal/physical self (our most basic raw form), the conscious self (that which is aware on this plane—it has reason, emotion, and artistry), and the self-divine (our connection to the tapestry of the universe, the gods, and our own god-selves). So we could connect each of the parts to a different cauldron: animal/physical self to the Cauldron of Warming, conscious to the Cauldron of Motion, and self-divine to the Cauldron of Wisdom.
kabbalistic tree of life in Jewish mysticism
a 2,000 year old poem is a description of Ten Sefirot-Ten Energies is the basis for the Tree of Life –a Kabbalistic map developed in the south of France in the 12th century in the mystic school of Rabbi Isaac the Blind. The Tree depicts the flow of energy from the infinite source (above)to the finite expression/manifestation (“below”).
In Transformational Kabbalah the Tree of Life becomes a pragmatic tool for seeing how and why things, people, and events manifest in our lives -and how and why we go about creatively manifesting things, people, and events.
Prana
Life force (Prana) simply means energy. All matters in the universe are made up of energy. It is not just about our physical body we are talking about here. Even, our thoughts and feelings are also energy waves which actually can be measured through proper instruments. Pranic healing requires no physical touch. Pranic healing is a three-step process in which it accelerates the body’s inner healing ability to heal at all levels like physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.
Medicine Wheel
The medicine wheel (also called the Sun Dance Circle or Sacred Hoop) is an ancient and sacred symbol used by many Tribes. It signifies Earth’s boundary and all the knowledge of the universe. The Indigenous medicine wheel represents the alignment and continuous interaction of the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual realities.
The Medicine Wheel, sometimes known as the Sacred Hoop, has been used by generations of various Native American tribes for health and healing. It embodies the Four Directions, as well as Father Sky, Mother Earth, and Spirit Tree—all of which symbolize dimensions of health and the cycles of life.
Quantum Healing
Quantum healing is a pseudoscientific mixture of ideas which purportedly draws from quantum mechanics, psychology, philosophy, and neurophysiology. Advocates of quantum healing assert that quantum phenomena govern health and wellbeing.
Quantum healing is a term coined by Deepak Chopra to describe how our thoughts, beliefs and attitudes affect the way we experience illness and health in our lives. According to this principle, our consciousness does not just control the function of our brain and nervous system.
Working with your Energy- Raising the Vibe
You have probably heard others talking about raising their vibe or going to a higher vibration. When they are saying this they are talking about energy work.
When you raise your vibration you become consciously aware of your mental and emotional state. As this awareness increases so does the perception of your blocks. But keep in mind that this is all good information.
A lot of people think that raising your vibration means that you’re going to feel better, lighter, and even imagine stepping into fantasy picture of riding in on a unicorn. Additionally, while “raising your vibration” sounds like a lovely result, (and of course it is), its the entire process that will show you where you are out of balance with that higher vibe.
Let’s say for instance, you want to be more loving. So your light body will begin to hold more love. But as you hold more love, you will be shown all the frequencies that are out of alignment with love. This is not the fun part. So now you are seeing things like hatred, trauma, disgust, rejection all come to the surface because you are holding more light, and these shadows can no longer be hidden.
But hang in there! Don’t throw away all your amazing work just because it is getting hard. It’s all part of the experience.You actually have the chance here to do the spiritual healing work to release these stale emotions, memories and experiences that will change your entire life!
With a higher vibration, you’re able to hold higher states of consciousness and this consciousness lift will help you move through your inner blocks more and more quickly.
Raising Your Vibration means that a lot of your old trauma, past memories, and old energy is revealed so that you can heal it and bring in a new higher vibration to hold in your mind, body and soul.
Reiki
Reiki is a Japanese style of bodywork founded by Mikao Usai. The name translates to “spiritually guided life force energy”. It is a spiritual and vibrational healing intervention without the involvement of physical manipulation. Reiki is spiritual in nature but is not a religious practice, the intent is to maintain physiological balance through a subtle vibrational field.
Reiki has been used to treat ailments alone or as a supplemental treatment to promote recovery and enhance the quality of life.
To learn more about reiki you can watch the Divination class series on it below.
Polarity Therapy
This method was founded by osteopathic physician Randolph Stone in 1947. Polarity Therapy is a holistic wellness practice used in alternative medicine. Inspired both by Ayurvedic and Traditional Chinese Medicines, the intent is to rebalance the distribution of energy throughout the body using a mix of bodywork, exercise, nutrition, and counseling to alleviate or prevent health issues.
Ayurveda
Ayurveda is derived from the Sanskrit words ‘ayur’ – life and ‘veda’ – knowledge, translating to knowledge of life. This natural medicine practice originated in India over 3,000 years ago and is based on the idea that diseases are a result of an imbalance within one’s consciousness. In India, Ayurvedic medicine is regarded as equal to conventional Western medicine.
Ayurveda treatment starts with an internal purification process, followed by a special diet, herbal remedies, massage therapy, yoga, and meditation. The primary concepts of the practice are universal interconnectedness, the body’s natural constitution (prakriti), and life forces (doshas). Herbs, plants, oils and spices are all commonly used in Ayurvedic treatment.
Currently there is no national standard in the US for Ayurvedic medicine, so be sure to research your practitioner’s background and experience and consult your medical professional before using herbal medicine.
Centering
Centering gives you perspective on your own energy by allowing you to differentiate between what is yours and what is in the environment around you.
Think of centering like cleaning up your house after several weeks of not putting things away where they live. There are half-finished projects, maybe a couple dishes, you haven’t unpacked a shopping bag. All of those material possessions belong somewhere.
It’s the same with your energy. Whenever you experience extreme emotions, little bits of your energy can become detached. This can make you feel sort of, spread too thin. Centering helps you to call back and reattach all your bits of energy and helps you feel whole again.
If you don’t have any energy fragments scattered around, centering can simply gather and focus your energy so that it’s ready to work toward your next intention. To learn more about centering send me a message on facebook and ask me how to get access to my witchcraft basics bootcamp for a week of detailed work on centering!
Method:
Lay down or sit comfortably. Enter a meditative state by focusing on your breathing.
Find your center. This is the place where all of your energy radiates from. For me, this is the center of my pelvic region in my root chakra. Some people find their energy center is the middle of their forehead at the third eye chakra. Yours may be somewhere else entirely. Wherever it is, feel the energy circulating from it.
Now visualize that you—and your energy center—are the nexus of a galaxy. Orbiting all around you are stars and planets and comets and meteors. These are your energy fragments.
Notice that some of the orbits are large while others are nice and close to the center. Feel the gravity of your center grow and pull the furthest fragments of energy closer to you.
As the gravity of your center continues to grow stronger, the bits of your energy galaxy circulate right near your center. Everything is back in it’s home, and your energetic universe is harmonious.
At this point, you are centered and can ease yourself out of the meditation. Sometimes it’s nice to hang out in your energy galaxy, though. It’s a good opportunity to close up any energy leaks and to get to know your energy a little better.
Take note of how you feel in contrast to how you felt before you centered.
Grounding
Grounding is a term used to help center and calm a person’s energy and emotions. It is a process that helps us to energetically and physically connect deeper to the healing frequencies of the Earth and puts us more in a present state of awareness.
Grounding is a way to connect you to the earth and to your purpose. It gives you the opportunity to take a strong stand in your intention.
To learn more about grounding you can learn about it here in the study guide from my previous class I taught on it. Grounding &earthing
Breathwork
What is breathwork? It’s breathing, but not like you know it. Think of breathwork like an active meditation, where you change your breathing pattern to boost mental, physical and spiritual health.
Breathing also helps move energy and you can use the breath to facilitate its movement in and around your body. As you breathe in, imagine drawing in pure divine energy. This can be very powerful. As you breathe out you can imagine you are sending energy out in a particular direction. Send out the negative energy you may have accumulated, sort of like dirt or pollution, into the ground where it will be neutralized.
Sound Healing
Sound Healing is a powerful therapy that combines different healing sounds, music, and sound healing instruments to improve our multidimensional well-being by creating a beautiful experience where all layers of our luminous energy field (body, mind, soul, spirit) are awakened gently and lovingly.
Integral Sound Healing is highly effective at triggering our relaxation response, which counters the many symptoms caused by chronic stress, while helping to balance our whole being.
Sound Healing Instruments that are easy to play can be applied both on the body and off-the-body, whilst also incorporating vocal sounds and tones.
Sound Therapy techniques are delivered using instruments such as Tibetan and crystal singing bowls, gongs, drums, tuning forks, and more, both during a one-on-one sound healing session or sound bath
Work with crystals
Crystals are such amazing tools to help us harness energy and use it in a much more effective way in our lives, and magical practices. Using crystals help us be in alignment with the energies surrounding us and can also help us call on certain energies when we want to use them.
Crystals come directly from the earth and therefore vibrate with healing earthly energy. All of our medicines come from the earth and so why can’t natural resources also provide some sort of healing? They can! This includes crystals and stones of various types and colors.
Thought alignment
An important key to working with energy, is using your thoughts. Energy follows thought. Using your thoughts and your imagination are the tools for directing, manipulating and controlling energy.
With every thought we think, energy reacts to that thought by moving. So learn how to manipulate your energy and the energy around you with your imagination. When you do so, you’ll tap into your intuitive guidance system because energy is the language of your intuition. By moving energy with your intention and your imagination, you can control and move energy to pick up intuitive information about things. For example, you can expand your energy field to connect with a place or area you would like to pick up intuitive information about.
Protection And Energy
There are ways you can shield yourself from negative energy or energy that you don’t want to experience. The amplitude of your energy, which is the LOUDNESS of your energy, will overwhelm the energy of other things. Have you ever noticed that when you’re near someone who is extremely happy and excited, the energy rubs off on you? By the same token if you are near someone who is very, very depressed, sad and down, that you feel it as well? Sometimes their energy is so “loud” that you can’t help but absorb it and feel the way they do. If you are a sensitive person you’ll pick up and absorb all the nuances of that energy until it becomes yours. The solution is to turn up your own energy so it shields you from energy of those around you. If your energy is ‘louder’ than the “Negative”nergy around you, you will drown it out and not be affected by it. You can stay light and happy yourself. Remind yourself to observe those people and not absorb their feelings, thoughts and energy. Remember energy follows thought. If you can’t do that, then your intention can create an energetic shield against the negative energy.
Here’s how to do that.
Step 1: Pull your energy back in to yourself – close to your physical body with your intention.
Step 2: Imagine a shield, like a force field, or a wall made of steel, titanium, or diamond, whatever is strong to you.
Step 3: You can physically move away from the ‘source’.
You can imagine being in an energetic egg of protection with energy that allows the good to come in but the bad bounces off. You can also use a physical shield, by putting something between you and the negative energy source, or simple step back, or walk away.
The last energy work type I’ll discuss here is called shielding. In my opinion, this is the most important energy work practice that you can learn as an energy manipulator. If you can commit to starting a daily shielding practice and keeping it up, you are committing to keeping your energy safe and secure.
Shielding is a way of keeping your energy safe. You set up a barrier to separate the feelings, emotions, and thoughts of others from your own space. It can prevent energetic vampires from draining your energy, and it protects your energy from spirit attacks and other unfriendly things. It’s a great way to help protect empaths from absorbing all of the negative emotions of other people as well.
Shielding can be especially useful before going to areas with lots of people like a concert, convention or fair. These types of events have a lot of free-floating energy that can be overwhelming.
You can build a shield around anything you want to protect: your loved ones, children, and pets, your home, your car.
Method:
Ideally, you would ground and center before you build a shield.
Sit down or lie down. You could stand up to do this, but it helps to close your eyes, which—while standing—could potentially make you get wobbly.
Visualize your body surrounded by a sphere of glowing light. Make sure it completely surrounds you with no cracks or weak areas.
Imagine the light forming to your body like a second skin. Let it lock into place around you.
Now visualize that the outside of this shield is shining and reflective like a mirror. Imagine negative energy coming toward you and bouncing off the mirror back to its sender.
This is a basic, yet effective method of shielding yourself from negativity. Do you feel safe and protected after shielding?
Alternatives:
If this shield doesn’t feel strong enough to you, or it just doesn’t feel right, try something else. Here are some other ideas for shields you can test that may feel more comfortable or satisfying. Construct them in the same way, by visualizing them surrounding you.
A whirlpool or hurricane of water swirling around a calm eye of the storm where you are
Big gusts of wind or a tornado blowing around you and sending away negative energy
A sphere of burning flames to incinerate any negative energy that tries to get close
Mountains of solid, impenetrable rock
A tangle of thorns sticking out away from you, with beautiful flowers on the inside
Clouds of smoke and mist that obscure you from enemies
Anything else you can imagine! Whatever feels right to you.
If you would like to expand your knowledge on energy and energy work you can purchase my Ebook on the topic in the shop, and reach out me for a booking on many different types of energy services I offer for 1:1 guidance, and clearing. Or if you’d rather listen than read; you can watch my free class with Divination Academy on YouTube below!
