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Hestia; Invite peace, generosity, and harmony into your hearth with the keeper of the eternal flame

Our ancestors needed fire to stay alive. They needed it for warmth, to cook their food and brew their medicinal remedies. They needed a fireplace or hearth to light and keep that fire burning for all these much needed things to survive. Even today living in Minnesota your hearth is an important place for our long , harsh, and cold winter months we experience here. We light them to heat up our homes, connect us to hope, and create a festive environment for the holidays with their dancing lights. Our hearth is a sacred and magical space for us to meet at as we light up our homes with it’s creative, protective, purifying, and generous energy. When we are at this sacred space within our home we have the ability to connect to one of the most compassionate, generous, forgiving, and peaceful Greek goddesses we can work with; Hestia. Hestia is the sole attendant to the celestial hearth of the gods. As the goddess of the hearth, she personified the fire burning in the hearths of every home in Greece. Plus she was at the heart of the each city burning bright in the communal hearth at the center of town. On a very tangible level, Hestia rules the domain of fire. This means that she is directly responsible, at least according to the Greeks, for the fire, the stove, and the heat in your home. Which means she has a great impact on our family matters as well. Come join me as the fire is dancing in your hearth filling your home with protection, peace, and gentleness as we learn about Hestia in this blog post.

Who is Hestia?

Hestia’s presence fills a room with her wise, grounded energy, and her emotional maternal warmth is open, eternal, and strong. Hestia knows who she is and what she wants. She knows what is most important in her life and that’s what she centers her life around. She is calm, wise, and mature. She represents our spiritual core, and our connection with something deeper. That feeds us from the inside out like the eternal divine flame that she keeps. Hestia exemplifies the calm at the core of one’s being. When you need some quiet time alone, you long for her embrace as you sit next to the eternal flame. She is one of the original 12 Olympians in the Greek pantheon. But, later on in myths, Hestia gave up her throne for Dionysus. This is why some today consider her the secret 13th god of mount Olympus. Not only that alongside Artemis and Athena she is considered one of only three virginal goddesses putting her in a place of modesty, purity, and innocence in many myths and stories. Her most important role she is referred to in a Homeric hymn as “chief among goddesses”. Hestia was a very important goddess in the everyday life of the Greeks. Hestia is the Goddess of the Hearth Fire, Goddess of the Home, First and Last, Goddess of Domestic Order, Goddess of the state, and Goddess of Service and Devotion.

Hestia the keeper of the eternal flame

Hestia is known as the keeper of the sacred flame. This comes from Socrates when he describes his view of the cosmos. He saw it as ten divine celestial bodies [planets] that rhythmically rotated” around a Divine Fire, which was the center of the cosmos. That Divine Fire was Hestia, she was the hearth of the universe. Her flame symbolizes the continuity of life, community, and the divine spark within each person. You will also often see her referenced as the goddess of the sacrificial flame as which meant she received a share of every sacrifice to the gods. In many homes and public temples, the first sacrifice was given to Hestia before all other deities. It was said if you wanted your hearth to be lit all winter long you needed to give her the first piece of the best meat of every meal and especially on sacred festivals and holidays. Some say this is due to her being the eternal flame. While others say it’s because of her commitment to being chaste. So, Zeus made this a decree as a reward for all to honor her dedication.

Hestia the goddess of the hearth

Hestia is goddess of the hearth and this is the primary place she prefers to reside. Actually, her name itself means “hearth” or “altar.” This was a very prominent place in the life of every Greek to hold. In both the “Iliad” and the “Odyssey,” the hearth is more than a source of warmth and nourishment; it is the heart of the household. A sacred space where gods are honored and familial bonds are reinforced. This reverence for the hearth reflects Hestia’s domain. Highlighting the significance of her role in fostering the bonds of kinship and hospitality from the hearth of each and every home. As the goddess of the hearth; Hestia also symbolizes the importance of creating sacred space within one’s home by honoring the fire that turns wood to ashes and re –kindles itself, resurrecting what was once dead.

Hestia the goddess of home

As the goddess of the family and hearth she watches over the home as a protective matriarch. She also presided over the cooking of bread and the preparation of the family meal. Her commitment to family and community is unbreakable. As the goddess of the home, she fosters connections and ensures that bonds remain strong. She has the unique gift of fostering unity. She symbolized the family and community bond. Her presence at the hearth ensured peace and harmony, causing families to come together and strangers to become friends around the warmth of the fireplace of every home.

Hestia the goddess of the state

Many Greek cities and states had their own patron god. For example, Athens had Athena. However, Hestia was the goddess of the state in general. Her domain tied back to the role of the hearth in public life and the idea of a city as an extended family. Each city had a sacred fire dedicated to Hestia for use during festivals. The fire of this public hearth was also used for all state sacrifices and offerings. The maintenance of the hearth was an important duty, as an extinguished fire was a bad omen for the city. I also feel she was given this role to honor her significance as the chieftain goddess among the gods and goddesses. Plus her ability to stay calm, and neutral l in all matters of conflict among the gods is a great quality for the state to have and want to embody as well.

Family and Origin

As with every other deity I have written about her origin and family history is shrouded in a bit of smoky history with different versions to be found. Most agree that Hestia was the eldest daughter of the Titans Rhea and Cronus. She was sister to Demeter, Hades, Hera, Poseidon, and Zeus. Because of her commitment to be chaste unlike other goddesses she has no consorts, no lovers, no husband and no children.

Myths and legends

During one of the most important myths of Greek culture; the Titanomachy; when Zeus over throws his father Cronus to become the king of the Olympian Greek pantheon. Hestia is directly mentioned as well. She is listed as the first of the siblings Cronus swallowed and the last to emerge again from the depths of his belly. So, technically she is not only the eldest and first born of the Olympians but, also the youngest and the last to be born as well. Placing her in a very dualistic place within the Olympic pantheon. While also tying her to the creative and destructive force that is the element of fire.

Her Vow of Virginity
She was pursued by both Poseidon and Apollo, who desired to marry her. Despite their advances, she chose to remain a virgin goddess. She made a solemn vow to Zeus, promising to remain chaste and dedicate herself to the service of mankind and the gods. Her vow symbolized her commitment to her role as the goddess of the hearth and her focus on community and family.

Giving Up Her Seat on Mount Olympus
In a selfless act that underscores the goddess’s gentle nature, she gave up her seat on Mount Olympus to Dionysus when he was accepted as one of the Twelve Olympians. This act wasn’t about relinquishing power but about ensuring harmony and balance among the gods. She continued to tend the sacred hearth in Olympus, maintaining her important role solo.

Her aid to Prometheus

Hestia secretly helped Prometheus steal fire from the Olympian hearth to give to humans. She did this by simply turning a blind eye to his actions. Allowing him to steal the eternal flame as she tended to it and gift it to all of us humans. Her aid wasn’t just about lighting hearths; it was a game-changer for humanity. With fire, people could cook, stay warm, and forge tools; essentially kickstarting civilization.

Her attempted rape
The Roman poet Ovid recounted one story in which the vegetation god Priapus tried to rape the virgin Hestia. Finding Hestia sleeping in the woods, Priapus approached her stealthily with the intention of having his way with her. But a donkey suddenly brayed nearby, waking the goddess. When the other gods learned of Priapus’ intentions, they banished him from their gatherings. He was sent to live in the forest with the woodland gods, far from Mount Olympus.

Worship of Hestia

Hestia’s worship was widespread and mainly upheld within the home. Within them families would honor her at their central hearth, at the very heart of each home. Unfortunately, we don’t have a lot of references showing entire temples in her dedication or priesthoods like we find with many of the Greek goddesses. Although there is a vague mention of a Hestia priestess in one ancient source. The most I can find really documented about her is connected to her roman counter part Vesta, the temple of vesta, the vestal virgins, and the festival Vestalia, which I talk about below. Plus mentioning’s of sacrifices being left for her at the hearth in the central of town. I bet she was worshipped in almost every single temple though. Typically, every main temple had its own hearth which meant Hestia presided and ruled there as well. Essentially she was worshipped all over the city where she received many of the cities’ sacrifices. Her job was crucial to the survival of the entire community. Her loving, peaceful embrace was present and was felt by every citizen in every home.

Vestalia

Her own festival for her counter part in Rome was known as the Vestalia. The Vestalia, was celebrated from June 7 to 15. During the festival, violets and bread were hung in garlands on donkeys. As the hearth is used to bake, the bread was representative of the goddess. The donkeys symbolized the story of the god Priapus, who attempted to rape the goddess but was frightened by the braying of a donkey and scared away . At the end of the festival, on the 15th of June, the Temple of Vesta was cleaned. On the 9th it is said, the matrons of the town walked barefooted in procession to her temple, to ask for the blessing of the goddess for their households, and to offer sacrifice to her in rude dishes, in remembrance of the time when the hearth served generally for the baking of bread.

Who is Vesta and the Vestal virgins?

Hestia’s Roman counterpart is known as Vesta and has very similar qualities as keeper of the flame. She was just as prominent in Roman culture as Hestia was in Greece. Maybe even more so with one of the most important temples in the city being dedicated to her; the temple of Vesta. With the largest temple comes some of the most important priestesses tending it; they were known as the vestal virgins. I honestly can’t talk about Hestia without talking about these badass women of Rome. I say badass because, I really respect their devotion to make a different path for themselves as women and create their own fate through service. These women were some of the most sought often women who had their very OWN fortunes of wealth. Which was almost unheard-of for women in ancient Rome.

So, who were the Vestal virgins?

They were the priestesses who lived in and served the temple of vesta. The women chosen for the great privilege and responsibility of tending the Temple of Vesta were typically selected from the daughters of Rome’s most noble families. There were 6 Vestals at any one time, and the group of girls eligible for the role was chosen by the Pontifex Maximus when they were between 6 and 10 years old. When they started their service they were contracted for 30 years in total commitment to not only the goddess and temple but, to all the people of Rome. During those 30 years they were required to remain chaste while performing their duties. If they were to have an infraction of any of their vows or duties the punishment was brutal. In his account of the Chief Vestal Cornelia being subjected to this punishment under the emperor Domitian, Pliny the Younger describes how the condemned Vestal was led into an underground chamber, given a small amount of bread and water, and then sealed up forever, condemned to a horrible death by suffocation or dehydration in the pitch dark. But, if they were being dutiful they got a lot of perks. one of the favorites being; having prominent seats at sporting events at the Coliseum. Most importantly, however, was the fact that the Vestals were not under the supervision of their fathers like other Roman women, and had the right to own property as well as disbursing their estates (their access to the wealthy allowed them to amass was another perk) as they saw fit in their wills. This was huge for a woman in ancient Rome! This is why I call them badasses! After their 30 years of service had expired, the Vestals retired from their role and were given a pension too. Allowing them to continue to build even more wealth. She was then even permitted to marry a suitable noblemen that the Pontifex Maximus found for her. This meant she was able to get out of the control of her family and father forever while also moving up in social status through marriage AND her own fortune she had amassed.

So what were their duties? Their primary and most important duty was to keep the communal flame in the hearth of the temple lit. This duty placed them in high regards among the people of the city making them some of the most prominent women in all of society. Rome even allowed them to give legal testimony and evidence in a court of law without ever having to swear a legal Oath either. Since their word has held in such high esteem. It was even said if you injured a Vestal virgin you were sentenced to death. This was because if the fire was extinguished for any reason at any time, it was a harbinger of trouble for the ENTIRE city. Not only did they keep the fire lit, they also performed other duties around the temple and they helped lead at least 9 major religious festivals throughout the year for the city. The Vestals also performed other important tasks within the space of the Temple itself. One of the most mysterious of these was their custodianship of the storeroom known as the penus vestae, a sacred symbolic space whose secret contents were said to be related to Rome’s origins. The Vestals were also tasked with the production of a ritual substance known as the mola salsa, used in various purification ceremonies, as well as safeguarding the wills of important Romans, including those of Julius Caesar, Mark Anthony and the Emperor Augustus.

What does Hestia look like?

Hestia is a personification of the hearth and the fire within, so many who work with her reference her manifesting in that way. However, there are some ancient pieces of pottery and sculptures that depict Hestia as a beautiful young woman, usually with long brunette tresses, dressed modestly with a veil. In some depictions I see her holding a kettle or cauldron to sit over the hearth. I myself have seen her presented as versions of both. Her beautiful young woman form usually is present when I am doing inner child work or blessing my home with kitchen magic for my family guiding my hands in recipes.

Summary facts about Hestia

  • She was a sibling to Demeter, Hades, Poseidon, Hera, and Zeus.
  • She was primarily known as the Goddess of the Hearth.
  • Of all the gods and goddesses, she was considered the gentlest, mildest and most modest.
  • Each city had a public hearth that was sacred to Hestia; the fire kindled there was never allowed to go out unless put out ritually
  • New colonies took fire from the hearth in the prytaneion (also known as the town hall) and kept the fires going in those new locations.
  • She never took part in conflicts
  • She was rarely depicted in art unlike other deities
  • Every meal began and ended with an offering to Hestia at the hearth including pouring wine out
  • Like Athena and Artemis, Hestia was referred to as one of the three virgin goddesses.
  • Unlike many other Greek gods, she had no major love affairs or romantic entanglements. Her vow of chastity set her apart and underscored her devotion to her divine duties. Both Poseidon and Apollo wanted to marry her, but she refused.
  • She was one of only twelve Olympian deities.
  • She was the first sibling to be swallowed by Cronus and the last to be released from his belly.
  • Her name literally means “hearth”
  • Vesta is her Roman counter part she had a major temple in Rome called the temple of Vesta where her Priestess called the Vestal virgins lived and served
  • Children were accepted into the family by being presented at Hestia’s hearth. This observed first step ensured the goddess’s blessing on the new addition to the family and the home.

Hestia and duality

Since I am a grey witch every single energy I work with I look at how it can help me maintain balance and how it can represent the cosmic energy of duality. When it comes to the duality of Hestia I personally had struggled to see what it was. Until I went on my journey with her. Until I read about her and worked with her in shadow work and within my home. Especially, once I had my little family to care for and protect within it’s walls. But, Hestia is burning with duality from the embers glowing within the crackling wood, to the tips of the flames reaching for the divine heavens. While most of her traits can be described as calm, gentle, and supportive and she was a constant presence in the daily lives of ancient Greeks. This means she also has a resilience, fortitude, and dedication to her service and commitment that is unwavering and full of so much strength. This means that while she can hold you in a peaceful, harmonious, and loving embrace, she can also lash out and protect with a fierceness of fire to burn those who would dare to disrupt your peaceful home. She is the keeper of the eternal flame and personification of fire itself so she shines insanely brightly. While also being comfortable to be in the darkness where she brings things into her warm light. Lastly, the duality of her connection to others while being perfectly fine standing alone. The hearth is where we gather for meals, celebrations, and even community rituals. Making it a place of deep human connections and celebrating community. But, remember Hestia is the SOLE attendant of the eternal flame. Even giving up her place on mount Olympus to stay by her fire alone. She is perfectly fine being on her own and understands the importance of loving ourselves in order to connect with and serve others with grace.

Correspondences To Connect To Hestia

First, what is a correspondence? A correspondence is an item or symbol that is meant to connect you to a specific energy thru it’s representation. It is seen also as an item to respect, honor, and venerate that energy as well whether it be an archetype energy , or the zodiac energy the moon is currently, or a deity, like I will list below for you to use with Hestia .Follow your intuition and use what speaks to you!

  • Planet- Jupiter
  • Animal- pig, cow, donkey
  • Element- fire
  • Zodiac-Taurus
  • Sex-feminine
  • Symbol-flame, hearth, cauldron, kettle, veil, chaste branch
  • colors-yellow, orange, red
  • Herbs- goldenrod, angelica, yarrow, poppy, angel’s trumpet, lavender, iris, myrrh, chamomile
  • Stones/ crystals- amber, carnelian, amethyst, garnet, ruby, quartz
  • Foods-grains, breads, sweet cakes, fresh fruit, the first meat pieces of burnt meat from each offering
  • Tarot card- temperance or strength

How To Know Hestia Is Calling To Work With You

I get asked this question every time I write or teach about a goddess. Remember, signs and messages appear in many different ways and are unique to the individual. It’s ultimately up to you to discern by opening up your clares, paying attention and listening to your intuition. Also, remember you can choose to work with her as well even if you don’t feel her calling to you. You can be the one to begin building that relationship by reaching out. Below is a list of some ways that you may know she is reaching out to you.

  • You’re a kitchen witch or are learning to be one
  • Baking bread is your forte
  • You keep seeing her symbols everywhere: hearth/fireplace or fire
  • you work in foster care or volunteer with children
  • Your home and family need protection and guidance
  • You are drawn to working with fire in your spell workings
  • You avoid conflict at all costs
  • The kitchen is your happy place
  • You live your life by the same values as her of kindness, forgiveness, and contentment
  • You may hear her name repeatedly in passing conversations or in your dreams
  • You see her name on TV, in books, online, etc.
  • You don’t like to leave your home much
  • You have taken a temporary or permanent vow of celibacy/ Chasity
  • You’ve always felt drawn to her
  • Your home is the home your family gathers at for holidays
  • You enjoy bonfires
  • You have a job working with the community and need help or guidance
  • You feel a strong urge to learn more about Hestia
  • Chasteberry is an herb you’re currently taking as regimen or working with in your practice
  • You brew and drink magical teas every day or often
  • You’re focused on going within to uncover your own sacred flame
  • You keep seeing pigs everywhere
  • You feel drawn to practice religious / spiritual veiling
  • You feel a deep desire to burn candles often in your home
  • You are drawn to her depiction in art
  • You might start feeling an inexplicable sense of warmth and comfort, especially when you’re at home

A fundamental pillar of Paganism is working with the deities that one believes in. While all practicing Pagans have varying beliefs about the gods and goddesses, most agree that honoring their deities is a great way to connect with them and further their spiritual goals. But, again remember not every pagan works with deities. Also remember there are literally thousands of different deities out there in the multiverse and which ones you choose to honor will often depend significantly upon what pantheon your spiritual path follows. This eBook will walk you thru the different ways to view deities, what a deity can be, and the basics to start building a deep meaningful relationship with one.

Buy now!

Ways To Work With and Connect To Hestia

Everyone’s relationship with deities is different and we all work with and believe in them differently. You might believe in multiple gods and goddesses and work with them each as though they are close, personal friends. Or maybe you believe the old gods are reflections of Universal energy and simply archetype energies that you can learn a lesson from. However you incorporate deities in your practice is up to you. If you need help to figure this out you can purchase my eBook here on the Introduction to working with pagan deities.

As the Goddess of the Hearth Fire, Hestia also rules over the Home (protection and love in the home), Food (nourishment and sustainment), and Service (caring for others and yourself). Hestia can be called upon for all matters involving the home, feeling safe, self care, food and nourishment, and learning to serve others with compassion. Remember however you feel called to work with her; it’s important to approach her with respect, reverence, gratitude and by building a relationship with her. Every time you work with a deity it is an even energetic exchange; which means what you put into your intention when working with them and building your relationship to them is what you get back.

Study, get to know her

As with every deity I have ever written about or taught about, The first way to get to know a deity, specifically a goddess like Hestia; is to study all you can about her. Look at the different versions of her origin, and how she is both the eldest and youngest of all the siblings in the Olympian Pantheon . Try to understand all the different versions of her you can connect to through the element of fire. You can even, study the culture, region, and worship of the people of Greece where she is from. Plus the influence she had over the entire city with the communal hearth. The more you study and learn the better! When working with a deity it is all about building a true relationship with them and you do this first by getting to know who they are.

Work with the element of fire

Hestia is the personification of fire itself both within and without. Which means any fire ritual or working with fire in spells will appease and connect you to the goddess Hestia. So keep a fire going in your fireplace this Winter in honor of Hestia. Get outside in the winter landscape and sit next to a sacred bonfire. You can even grab some candles, light them, and add them to any of your magical workings like during kitchen magic, sitting on your altar as you prayer or meditate, and as you create protection sigils. Call in the element of fire to connect to the very essence of Hestia during your spells for protection, purification, warmth, and more. Traditionally, Hestia’s fire should never be allowed to burn out or be blown out. Only during ritual may it be extinguished and then ritually relit. PS. if you need to learn more about how to work with the element of fire you can read my guide HERE!

Meditation and visualization

One of the best ways to channel divine energy and tap into goddesses like Hestia is through meditation and visualization. These practices allow you to open up and receive/ connect to divine energy in a very intuitive, clear, and transformative way. You will find a plethora of guided meditations on YouTube that will lead you to your spirit guide or god/goddess. Try those if you have a hard time meditating on your own. I have many classes on YouTube as well on previous deities you can watch where I even summon and guide you to them in sacred container.

Cooking and kitchen magic

Hestia is the goddess of the home and hearth which means one of her favorite places to hang out in modern homes is in the kitchen. So of course she presides over all cooking and will aid you in creating magical recipes like simmer pots. She will even be standing next to you guiding your hands while you work hearth-side. Every time you cook, you honor her and bring her essence into your home. This is probably the easiest way to work with Hestia. Don’t forget she’s associated with pigs so pork is great to work with. Plus bread; especially some with fresh herbs for protection like thyme, rosemary, and garlic! She loves it when you dedicate the first loaf/slice to Her. So, roll up your sleeves, grab some herbs, light your oven, knead your dough, and work with Hestia in your kitchen today.

Offerings

Everyone loves receiving gifts, and that includes deities like Hestia. You don’t have to give her offerings every day, but when you feel it is appropriate. I highly recommend gifting them to her during the long winter months and when you have big family feasts to leave her the best piece of the meat. You can place these offerings at your altar or at the mantle of the hearth in your home. You can also give her offerings when performing any work to connect to her like meditation, prayer, visualization, and spell work. Below I will list some of the best offerings you can give her, but keep in mind these are just some ideas from my own personal experience with her and her corresponding energies. Just follow your intuition.

  • When cooking or baking, give Hestia the first bite or sip of whatever you’re making
  • first bites of fresh fruits
  • olive oil
  • Wine
  • water
  • cakes shaped like a calf
  • freshly baked bread
  • Candles
  • herbs
  • incense
  • homemade crafts
  • Acts of hospitality, like welcoming guests warmly
  • A cup of tea or hot cider
  • Pottery
  • Knitted items
  • Woven tapestries
  • Flowers from your garden
  • A small piece of wood
  • music
  • Baked cookies
  • milk
  • barley

Dedicate Altar Space

Set aside some space in honor of Hestia. This can be an elaborate large altar or as simple as a small shelf or corner of a counter. Place a representation of Hestia there like a candle. Be sure to cleanse the space before you invite her in. Include all of her colors, her symbols, and representations of the element of fire, the essence of home, family, and hearth. Plus add any of her other correspondences you can use to connect to her. This will be a container that reminds you to connect with her and her energy. To allow you a container of maternal protective, peaceful, and purifying energy to connect to in your life.

Volunteer in your community

Hestia wasn’t only just the goddess of the hearth in your home but, she presided over the hearth of the entire city. Which means she is present within the community as a whole. Her fire dancing in the souls of each and every person who passed through the center of the town. To honor Hestia, consider volunteering at a local domestic violence shelter or at a Youth shelter home. Or better yet, fill the bellies of those in your community at a local soup kitchen!

Prayer

One very powerful way to connect to a deity is through prayer. Things to Pray for; protection, homes blessings, family, fertility, purification, creativity, peace, modesty, and purity. Below are a few prayers I like to use but, you can find many across texts and the internet plus you can always create your own.

Homeric Hymn 24 to Hestia
“Hestia, in the high dwellings of all, both deathless gods and men who walk on earth, you have gained an everlasting abode and highest honor: glorious is your portion and your right. For without you mortals hold no banquet,–where one does not duly pour sweet wine in offering to Hestia both first and last. And you, Argeiphontes [Hermes], son of Zeus and Maia, . . . be favorable and help us, you and Hestia, the worshipful and dear. Come and dwell in this glorious house in friendship together; for you two, well knowing the noble actions of men, aid on their wisdom and their strength. Hail, Daughter of Kronos (Cronus), and you also, Hermes.”

Homeric Hymn

“Hestia, you who tend the holy house of the lord Apollo, the Far-shooter at goodly Pytho, with soft oil dripping ever from your locks, come now into this house, come, having one mind with Zeus the all-wise — draw near, and withal bestow grace upon my song.”

Home spells and blessings

Since Hestia is the goddess of not only the hearth but the home as well of course she would love to help you with any spells or blessings associated with your home. Ask her to help you ward and protect your home with the fierceness of a mother’s love. Or you can do my favorite home workings with her during the winter asking her to bring warmth to your home for the cold winter months. You can also do rituals and create charms with her sigil to protect the home and cleanse the home with purifying energy.

Other ways to work with her

  • ask for her assistance to help find a new home or apartment when you need to move
  • call on her to assist with domestic issues in the home and help with family strife
  • call on her when casting circles of warding and protection for your home and property
  • always offer her the first slice of any loaf of bread you make or buy to eat
  • Learn how to sew, knit, or crochet
  • consecrate your cooking tools and utensils with her sigil to bless all of your recipes
  • Call on her to be a soft, comforting, glowing light to guide you during shadow work to find your inner sacred flame and stoke it. If you would like to learn more about shadow work you can purchase my eBook here; you can book me for a 1:1 session as your guide here; and you can watch my free class previously taught on it through Divination here. Plus don’t forget to head to the shop and register for my new course that is beginning at the end of this month!
  • Work with herbs and learn some herbal magic
  • Brew a magical tea
  • bake Hestia’s sigils into bread as you are baking loaves with her
  • Light as many candles as you can around your entire home to welcome her and purify it with the element of fire
  • learn and perform candle magic
  • cast peace and harmony spells
  • Invite her to your table for a meal by setting a place for her and leaving it empty for her to sit there and join you
  • take a cooking or baking class
  • create an altar just for your kitchen magic
  • Call relatives you don’t see often
  • remove yourself from conflict
  • learn how to make fires on your own
  • create a powder to use as a protective magical barrier for your home especially around your threshold ( I have a recipe for one on my Pinterest page )
  • Divination like fire gazing
  • ask her to join in family traditions you already have or create new ones with her
  • decorate your home
  • Plant and grow a kitchen garden
  • Ask for her maternal protective energy to embrace you as you do inner child work and healing
  • Pray, sing, or chant to Hestia whenever you’re working on something related to the home
  • Creativity spells
  • Share stories, traditions, and family histories
  • dedicate your stove, fire pit, and hearth to her by placing a statue or image of her near by or draw her sigils on them
  • ask for her help and guidance to create a balance between your home/family life and your work/volunteer life
  • invite her into your home when you first purchase it to bring in harmony, peace, and meaningful connections within the four walls
  • use a gratitude challenge or practice to cultivate gratitude
  • take all your recipes and put them together into a cook book
  • Create a spell jar for self love, peace, harmony, friendship, inner flame
  • wear her sigil on your skin or as jewelry during the cold winter months to help you always be warm
  • take either a temporary or permanent vow of celibacy
  • Welcome guests into your home
  • Use her fire and flame to burn away and release things we no longer need
  • prioritize self-care and boost your the height and strength of your eternal flame with self worth
  • decide to do a set timeframe like 30 days of spiritual/ religious veiling
  • spend time with your family and host a meal or gathering in your home
  • practice generosity and donate clothing or food to those in need and others

Why work with Hestia?

Flame is heat and passion. Flame is purifying and renewing. Hestia chose not to claim a realm to rule over mortals and earth in some way, and instead chose to simply tend the fires for the good of mankind and the Gods. Making sure that our hearth fire remains lit always so we can find our way to food, warmth, protection, transformation, or healing whenever we may need it. This is why she chose a role of service rather than dominion to be here as a protective yet comforting and warm maternal embrace helping us survive. Her duty to maintain this eternal fire symbolizes purity, devotion, and a connection to the divine. It’s a task she undertakes with solemn grace. She is also Known for inducing calmness, her presence brings peace and serenity. Her calming influence extends to both the divine and mortal realms, making her a beacon of stability in a world often feels like it is nothing but chaotic Especially, in a pantheon filled with conflict, her gentle and steadfast nature stands as a comforting constant to shelter with. Working with her will show you a goddess who is a gentle and caring figure, one who welcomes all into her presence. Her warmth is not just physical but emotional, offering comfort to those in need.

Hestia forever kneels next to the eternal hearth as a figure in Greek mythology, one whose powers are not of conquest or ego like the rest but of harmony, warmth, and stability. She is the reason the flames never go out in the universal heart. She is the connections we make, the homes we build, and the love we share,. All the things that are central to our human experience. Her eternal flame invites us to gather around, to celebrate our common bonds, and to reflect on the simple yet profound joys of being together. Her story serves as a warm invitation to reflect on the connections that make us human. While also teaching us how to be okay with being alone by truly loving ourselves and tending to our own eternal flame. Hestia teaches us how to go within to find our own sacred spark. This is the essence of self that makes us confident in who we are and sure of our own beliefs. While many of the other deities I write and teach about, will show us how to change our outer world, Hestia shows us that real change comes from within. She helps us uncover that flame that has been oppressed within ourselves in order to see our true essence. Finally letting it shine for all to see and be a place of warmth and security for you to call on.

In this new special 6 month shadow work program I will help you realign your inner world, discover all the versions of you in the shadows, and show you how to integrate your shadows into your own authentic identity. When you purchase and register for this 6 month course you will get pre-recorded lessons, eBooks, journal prompt workbooks, weekly guided sessions, ( with one week off for integration) one womb healing session, and access to a discord chat for all those who are taking the course with you. We begin the last Monday of February for orientation week and then session for courses start the first Monday of March! There will be limited spots so hurry and register today.

Embrace your shadow self

Come join me for community, knowledge, and to restore the enchantment of magic in yourself and life today!

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About Me : I have been a solitary grey magic practitioner for 15 + years. First and foremost, I consider myself a mystic and seeker of all knowledge. I am dedicated to the restoration, and re-enchantment of Magic in society, across this realm, and in each and every soul I come across in life! I am here to create a container that promotes healing, duality, and raw authenticity. I do this by guiding you on your personal journey to understanding your unique magic and sacred contracts. I facilitate this for you through embracing your shadow, duality and learning to live in energetic balance while not wearing a mask. When you work and learn from me you do so from your “darkness” as much as your “light” and in a way to truly harness and accept it not to just go thru it on the way to your light. But, I teach you how to truly embrace it, work with it, and use it alongside your light as a partner. I hold up a mirror for you to be able to see your authentic reflection looking back. Then have the courage to take the next step and do the uncomfortable but vital inner work to completely remove your mask. By facing all of your past wounds, traumas, and hurts. Allowing you to see both the dark and light within your story and take each chapter and alchemize it into something that is so powerful. your unique internal flame will shine so bright you will always be able to go within and find it on a dark cold night. You will learn how to truly live in duality and energetic balance to allow growth, and alignment with your sacred contracts and purposes. to finally move on and truly let the things that hold you back in this life from healing and manifesting go. To see everything I offer; like personalized shadow work sessions, womb healing, eBooks for you to work through on your own, Tarot sessions for guidance and more! Go to my shop!

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Nurture your emotions, release past wounds, and heal under the Wolf full moon in Cancer

The first full moon of 2025 graces the skies with a watery and emotional current of energy in the sign of the Crab Cancer on January 13th. As the moon finishes her cycle in Cancer we are pushed to dive deep into the depths and waves of our emotions. Cancer is one of the most sensitive and intuitive signs of the zodiac. It’s ruled by the moon so when the moon is in the sign of Cancer at any time, you can be sure you’ll be feeling more emotional than normal especially during a full moon! Cancer rules emotions, and you can work on any emotional issues. You can work on facing those feelings you have let sink to the depths of your psyche, embrace them with compassion, and surrender to the waves and let them go. The Cancer full moon connects us with the feeling of home within ourselves, pushes us to develop a new awareness of our emotional nature, and establish a new relationship with our sensitivity and vulnerability. It represents our foundation in life, our home, our roots, and our family of origin or our motherland. So during this full moon our healing and release work can focus on things like our childhood, generational traumas, and toxic family dynamics as well. The Full Moon in Cancer is a profound opportunity to nurture your emotional landscape, connect with your inner world, and release what no longer serves you. Let’s surrender to the waves of our psyche and our deepest emotions riding on the back of the crab under the glow of the full moon light in this blogpost together.

First, What is the Full Moon

Over the centuries, the Moon has played a significant role in different cultures and traditions. The full moon simply put is when the moon is completely illuminated in the sky and it has reached it’s peak in this lunar cycle in the sky. When the moon is completely illuminated it’s time for all to reach full expression. The full moon is the most powerful and potent time of the entire lunar cycle.

A full moon occurs when the transit (moving) Sun and Moon are in the exact opposite positions in the Zodiac (called an opposition). The full moon greatly affects humans and it’s no wonder it does because, there’s a scientific reason for this – we are made up of 60% or more of water. Full Moons are the peak point of the lunar cycle: at this time of the month, the light of the Sun is fully illuminating the Moon, and the luminaries are exactly opposing one another from our perspective on Earth. This potent alignment offers us opportunities to gain more awareness about what is moving in our inner and emotional world, and information previously uncertain or hidden could be revealed at this time.

With the moon being fully illuminated it creates this portal to some of the most potent energy to connect to for us to manifest our desires and dream life. This portal creates a connection to our peak creative energy and the deep seated creative passions we all have within us. This creative energy and power is the energy we need to actually do and create the things and lifestyle we need to manifest what we desire. With the new moon phase being about planting the seeds of what you want to manifest, the full moon is about actually doing the work and moving the energy to make your manifesting happen. The full moon allows you to bridge the connection between these energies and themes and bring them into your life while reminding you how important it is to have them in your life not only when the moon is illuminated in the sky for you to see.

There are so many ways to work with the full moon, to learn more about the basics of working with the full moon energy check out my blog post here and you can watch my class all about lunar magic. But, remember each full moon will be slightly different and have different practices to add and different ways to do it based on which zodiac sign the full moon is currently in at the time.

The wolf moon

During January, as the long harshness of winter has settled in for awhile and food sources to hunt become scarce. The howl of hungry wolves coordinating to take down their prey is something we commonly hear. This is why the full moon of January is known as the wolf moon. This first full moon of the year is an opportunity to slow down and reconnect with what truly matters. The howling wolves have long been a signal of the deep winter season. The Wolf Moon symbolizes both introspection and the power of community. The Full Moon of January connects us to Winter’s strength, the resilience of the wolf pack in harsh condition, and quiet stillness. Wolves, are revered for their wisdom and instinctual nature, and serve as symbols for individuals seeking a deeper connection with their inner selves. Like the pack-oriented wolves, this full moon reminds us of the importance of fostering relationships, improving communication, and achieving harmony in all aspects of life.

As with most pagan names there will be different ones for each culture so below I listed any of the other names for the cold moon I could find across the Earth. The common themes for these moons are, stillness, introspection, community, resilience, wisdom, rest, and the coldness of winter.

  • Mörsugur (Norse) Fat (most likely animal fat) Sucking month
  • Great Spirit Moon or Spirit Moon Ojibwe Native American origins
  • Mantis Moon (Praying Mantis) South African origins
  • Ice Moon Catawba Native American origins
  • cold moon
  • frost exploding moon
  • When Snow Blows Like Spirits In The Wind Moon
  • Stay Home Moon or Quiet Moon Celtic
  • Bear Hunting Moon (táan kungáay) Haida Alaska Native American origins
  • Moon After Yule (Anglo-Saxon)
  • Sun Has Not Strength To Thaw

Who is Cancer?

Like, I said before each full moon will be amplified and influenced by the zodiac sign we find it in and this time the full moon is in the sign of Cancer. So who is Cancer? As the fourth sign Cancer is the very bottom of the Zodiac which makes it associated with our foundations and the core of who we are. As a water sign Cancer is not afraid dive into the depths of emotions and create a nurturing environment to heal the wounds of the past. Cancer represented by the crab is known to be very emotional, nurturing, sensitive, and deeply intuitive.

Cancer constellation

Cancer, the crab, is the dimmest of the 12 zodiac constellations, yet it contains one of the brightest star clusters, the Beehive Cluster. In Greek mythology, the constellation Cancer represents a giant crab named Carcinos that attacked Hercules during one of his 12 labors. The goddess Hera sent the crab to distract Hercules while he fought the Hydra of Lerna, a water serpent. Cancer was able to grab Hercules’s toes with its claws, but Hercules killed it with a kick before it could cause more damage. Hera felt sorry for the crab and rewarded it for its efforts by placing it among the stars as the constellation Cancer.

In Egyptian mythology, the Cancer constellation was associated with the sacred scarab beetle, an emblem of rebirth and immortality. The connection comes from the scarab’s behavior of rolling dung into a ball, which the ancient Egyptians saw as a symbol of the forces that move the sun across the sky, thus connecting the beetle and the constellation with cycles of renewal and eternal life. In Mesopotamian mythology, the Cancer constellation was often depicted as a turtle or tortoise, associated with the summer solstice and sometimes seen as a gateway to the underworld.

In Celtic mythology, the Cancer constellation is most closely associated with the goddess Cerridwen, who is often depicted as the keeper of a cauldron of knowledge, with the stars within Cancer representing the sparks of wisdom emanating from her magical brew; essentially, the constellation is seen as a symbol of the cauldron itself, signifying the potential for enlightenment and deep understanding.

Themes for the Cancer full moon

Every full Moon contains its own themes, which are related to the sign that it falls under. This time, we experience the full Moon in the emotional, sensitive, loving, caring, forgiving, compassionate, foundational, sign of the crab; Cancer. The crab is also the sign that represents our family, our childhood, our ancestral line, and our past. When diving into the depths of your soul, with not only the moon as your guide but the crab as well. You are most likely to see themes focused on these topics as you swim among your emotions. The Cancer full Moon is going to bring the spotlight on your personal life, your inner life, your emotional life, as well as on home and family dynamics that we need to address or take care of, confront, and finally release and let go. The full Moon in her home sign invites us to strengthen our ability to tap into our intuition and reminds us of the value of giving space to our emotions. Keep in mind that the full Moon relates to the continuation of your journey to manifest your desires and dreams. So, make sure your release work helps you make those happen. Let’s explore some of the themes and energies of Cancer deeper below.

  • Nurturing
  • Sentimental
  • Emotional
  • Tender
  • Nostalgic
  • Protective
  • Creative
  • Intuitive
  • Moody
  • Loyal
  • sensitive
  • security-seeking
  • compassionate
  • Kind
  • Sympathetic
  • supportive
  • healing
  • Maternal
  • Foundational
  • devoted
  • Imaginative
  • resilient
  • duality
  • Family-orientated
  • ancestral
  • domestic

Cancer The sign to nurture your emotions

Cancer is a water sign associated with nurturing, intuition, and empathy. The Moon is at home in Cancer and illuminates our innate desire to focus on our deepest emotional needs. The cancer moon reminds us of the importance of letting our emotions flow, of sitting with our emotions without judging them, without rationalizing them, and without attaching a story to them. The Cancer full moon infuses us with its energy. Making it a powerful time for emotional healing, enhancing psychic abilities, letting go of past wounds, breaking generational patterns, and nurturing relationships. Whether it’s spending time with loved ones, creating a comforting environment, or simply honoring your own feelings, the Full Moon in Cancer highlights the importance of caring for your inner world. Remember, tending to your inner world is just as important as taking care of others during this extra sensitive and emotional full moon.

Cancer The Ruler Of Home And Family

Cancer is the ruler of the home and family, so we can focus more on home and family matters. This can be a time to work on healing wounds from your childhood, releasing past toxic patterns, and redefining the dynamics in your home and relationships. When the full moon is in Cancer this is a time to go back to our roots, who we are, where we came from, and work on releasing anything holding us back emotionally that is connected to our generational lineage, our childhood, and our upbringing. Now is a great time to begin looking into childhood wounds and working to start to healing them. Cancer is also the sign of mothering energy, so during this Moon you’ll feel a stronger urge to nurture and care for not only your own family more deeply, but everyone as if everyone was one of your children.

Cancer the sign of heightened intuition

Cancer is one of the most intuitive signs of the zodiac and has a natural ability to understand other people. This sign has an uncanny ability to sense the moods of others . This sign really is ruled by their intuition and gut feelings, which often proves to be a trusty compass for them. Guiding them to react to others with compassion and empathy giving them the emotional support they need. To connect to the heightened emotional intuition of Cancer this full moon it’s an excellent time for enhancing empathy, and deepening your intuitive abilities by working with your clairs. This allows you to follow that gut instinct about peoples true emotional state, even when it’s not what you see on the surface.

Eris is active

I don’t normally talk about other energies too much but, I have a soft spot for Eris. I feel she gets such a bad rep and she is so overlooked. Especially for her ability to bring empowerment , fight for the under dog, and bring about much needed justice. So, whenever she is active I always try to bring it up and make a note of it. Eris is known to bring destruction and unsettling energy, but this is only to achieve a greater harmony. Eris can see what is old, broken, or is in need of a massive change. She fights against oppression and outdated beliefs, aiming to bring more freedom. though she is known to be a bit erratic when she feels offended. I mean she did play a big hand in the destruction of troy. When she is active she can ignite some inner rage to stand up for yourself, and even get into the fight for justice within our community. To learn more about her energy and myths check out my class on her in the dark goddess devotionals class with DiviNation here.

What to be cautious of this Cancer full moon

When it comes to the Cancer full moon emotions will be really heightened and it’s easy to become moody if you don’t express how you’re feeling. So make sure to express those hidden feelings that you have allowed to sink to the depths. Another thing to be cautious of with the full moon in Cancer is to not allow yourself to build up stronger defense walls. The crab likes to retreat behind the walls of it’s castle to remain safe and protected as the waves of emotions crash upon the shore of your soul. But, don’t let yourself do that by lashing out in passive aggressive ways to those you love and care about. Allow the walls of your castle to soften and come down this lunar cycle instead of allowing them to be reinforced. The last thing to keep in mind is to make sure you don’t allow the nurturing pull of the crab to overcome you. It’s great to care for others and nurture others but, not at your own expense.

Cancer and duality

Since, I am a grey witch every single energy I work with I look for the duality in that energy and how I can connect to it. First, let’s talk about the sign Cancer. The zodiac sign Cancer is known for its duality, which is represented by the crab’s hard shell and soft underbelly. Cancer energy is said to be tough and protective on the outside, but nurturing and emotional on the inside. Like the crab this energy allows us to retreat into our shell and home we carry on our back and be grounded safely in it. But, when we need to we can stand our ground and defend the home we carry on our backs and protect it until the end. Even though we will feel protective, this energy also allows us to feel, be sensitive, and to nurture not only others but, ourselves. We may feel resilient and hard on the outside right now, but on the inside the waves of emotions are crashing all around us and we internally don’t feel strong and protected.

Second, the full moon itself is all about duality as it is another time of transformation, transition, and rebirth. During this time we are pushed into a liminal space that forces us to look at the things, people, and places that have been obstacles or holding us back. This can be a thing of beauty and hope as well as a thing of pain and darkness which forces us into duality.

Correspondences for the Cancer full moon

First, what is a correspondence? A correspondence is an item or symbol that is meant to connect you to a specific energy thru it’s representation. It is seen also as an item to respect, honor, and venerate that energy as well whether it be a deity, an archetype energy , or the zodiac energy the moon is currently in like for Cancer, I will list below for you to use. Remember to follow your intuition with the correspondences you choose to work with and that you can always use any that correspond to the moon itself as well.

  • planet- The Moon
  • Animal- crab, lobster, crayfish
  • Element-Water
  • Sex-Feminine
  • Modality-cardinal
  • Symbol- Crab
  • colors- sea green, blue, silver
  • Motto- “I feel”
  • Chakra- Heart
  • Herbs- water lily, aloe, passionflower, lemon balm, lotus, sandalwood, lavender, rosemary, ginger, Geraniums, daisy, honeysuckle, chickweed, peppermint, jasmine, hyssop, morning glory, parsley, verbena
  • Stones/ crystals- pearl, moonstone, aquamarine, turquoise,Rhodochrosite, rose quartz, ruby, opal, Chrysoprase
  • Deities- luna, diana, artemis, lord krishna, deities of the moon, Freyja, Lupa, skadi, calliech, cerridwen, baba yaga
  • Themes-Emotional, Family-oriented, Protective, Devoted, Caring, Maternal/Paternal, Intuitive, Domestic, Sentimental
  • tarot- The chariot
  • House- 4th
  • Day- Monday

How to connect to the Cancer full moon

Now, that we have talked about the themes of this cancer full moon and how it is going to affect you let’s talk about how you can specifically connect to and work with this moon. In magical practices, under a cancer full moon we can focus our spells on things like self love, creativity, emotional healing, generational patterns, and increasing your intuition.

First, make sure to do all of your staples that your learned in the previous blog post on the full moon and the moon in general like, charging your crystals, making moon water, and resetting your altar. Make sure to make moon water this lunar cycle. The moon rules Cancer, so its energy is particularly strong and potent during this time. This makes Cancer moon water incredibly powerful for spells and rituals involving emotions, intuition, home, and family.

With this moon there are certain spells and rituals that will help connect you this moon in the most effective way. Like spells focused on emotional healing, release work, self care, and deepening your connection with your intuition. Remember these are just some of the many ideas. Follow your intuition and the energy of this moon. Below is a more extensive list of ideas on how to connect to and work with the Cancer full moon.

  • Redefine a relationship with a relative
  • Make your home cozy and a safe environment
  • Do inner child work– You can start by purchasing my eBook in the shop
  • Visit a body of water and do some elemental magic
  • Make sure your SMART goals and word of the year are set
  • Do something nostalgic or sentimental
  • self care rituals and things to build your self worth
  • Abundance spells-You can learn how to connect to abundance with my in depth guide here
  • Meditation and Visualization
  • release and heal wounds no longer serving you
  • Heart Chakra Energy Work
  • immerse yourself in water
  • Spend time with your mother and/or connect to maternal energy
  • Divination– Try divination associated with the element water; one of my favorite is by practicing water scrying.
  • Self reflection– You can do this through mirror magic. To learn more on how to do this you can read about it here
  • Cleansing
  • Ritual bath
  • spend time in silence and alone
  • Do things that bring you comfort
  • Get creative and express yourself with art in whatever modality sings to your soul
  • Practice lunar magic
  • Womb healing– To learn more about this practice you can watch my class all about here and book me for 1:1 guided sessions here
  • Protection magic and spells– To learn more about how to do protection magic you can watch part 1 and part 2 of my classes with Divination academy on YouTube
  • release emotions by making worry water
  • Do things that help you feel stable and safe
  • Burn Bay leaves with things you would like to release on them
  • Work with your intuition– sit with your intuition, listen to your intuition, work on developing your psychic clares. To learn more about how to do that you can purchase my eBook here
  • Hydrate
  • attend a community support group and/or therapy
  • Random acts for kindness
  • Spread compassion by volunteering in your community
  • add the wolf to your altar
  • Visit the winter woods where wolves play
  • snow magic for release work
  • Create a spell bag or talisman for a peaceful home
  • watch a feel good movie or read a romantic novel
  • Connect with and ride the waves of your emotions
  • Cook a big meal and host some family
  • Use the last full moon of the lunar year to work with the year of the dragon
  • Make a spell jar-to connect to the zodiac Cancer. To learn how to make spell jars you can purchase my ebook here
  • Work with the element water in your magical workings and spells- You can learn more about how to do that here
  • Connect to the energy of January. You can read my extensive guide here
  • Make a simmer pot-for peace, calmness, emotional healing or clarity
  • Journal– focus on your emotions, emotional healing, family life, family dynamics, childhood, ancestors

Reflection questions and topics for wolf full moon in Cancer

During the Full Moon in Cancer, your focus should be on emotional awareness, self-care, and nurturing your connections. This is an ideal time to tune into your inner feelings, acknowledge any emotions that have been bubbling beneath the surface, and create a safe space for self-compassion. Whether you do it thru meditation, shadow work, or divination like tarot; below is a list of prompts and topics to connect with the energy of the wolf full moon in Cancer . If you would like to learn more about shadow work you can purchase my eBook here;  you can book me for a 1:1 session as your guide here; and you can watch my free class previously taught on it through DiviNation here.

  • What changes or shifts are occurring within you? How can you embrace transformation and growth during this period?
  • How do you contribute to your “pack” or community, and how do others contribute to yours? What can you learn from the dynamics of a wolf pack?
  • What wounds or past hurts from our childhood do you need to let go of?
  • What does your inner child need from you to feel safe? To feel loved? What did they not get when you were young you can give them now?
  • How can you express your own authentic voice? How can you find your own way to howl?
  • What helps me feel stable and secure? How can I create more of that in my life?
  • What emotions are bubbling just beneath the surface that I need to face?
  • Do I trust my gut instinct? How can I release doubt in my intuition?
  • What dynamics in my home need to be changed and shifted to bring more peace?
  • What generational patterns am I willing to release to step into my own destiny?
  • What in my day to day life feels heavy that I need t be willing to let go?
  • What emotion keeps coming up for me in a destructive way over and over again do I need to face and then let go this full moon?
  • How can I mother myself more?
  • Do I have a mother wound that needs to be healed an addressed?
  • How do I allow myself to flow freely with my emotions? What happens when I let myself ride the waves of my emotions?
  • What do I need to release in order to trust in the source?
  • How have I nurtured myself in the past 6 months? How can I nurture myself in the next 6 months?

Full moon Prayers and affirmations

  • I release all that does not serve my highest good.
  • I illuminate the things blocking my path to my desires.
  • I release all negative energy, feelings and thoughts that are not serving me.
  • I release the belief that I am not worthy or capable of manifesting anything that I want.
  • I call in the energy of the full moon to cleanse my field of anything that is not aligned with my higher purpose.

Affirmations specific to the Cancer full moon

  • I go with the flow of my emotions
  • I let my emotions guide me
  • I trust my intuition is a connection to the universe and is always protecting me
  • I am clear on my needs
  • I allow myself to feel vulnerable
  • My sensitivity and empathy are strengths not weaknesses
  • I trust my instincts, and they guide me wisely.
  • I am a valued member of my community, and I contribute positively to it
  • I protect the members of my community who are vulnerable and need it
  • The past no longer defines me I create my future
  • I let go of stress and emotional wounds and surrender to the flow of life
  • I protect my own energy by allowing myself time alone
  • I nurture myself through ups and downs. Breakdowns lead to break throughs
  • I let go of toxic dynamics to create a safe, nurturing, and peaceful home

Spell for emotional healing

Cancer is the sign of emotions and nurturing which makes it a very potent time to go within and do some emotional healing. Especially with family wounds, childhood wounds, and scars from the past. Use the spell below during the cancer full moon to bring emotional healing to your life as you surrender to healing waves where the crab resides.

What you will need:

  • a bowl of water
  • pink candle
  • oil
  • Lavender, pink rose petals, rosemary, cinnamon
  • rose quartz

How to perform spell:

Get into sacred container by taking some deep breaths and visualizing pink, loving, and nurturing energy surrounding you. Once you feel set in sacred container take the herbs and grind or mix them together. Once done take your oil and anoint your pink candle with it focusing on loving pink energy open you up to emotional healing. Next, take your candle and roll it in the herbal blend you mixed. Next set it next to your bowl of water asking to connect to the energy of the crab and the depths of your soul. Once your items are set light your candle. Take your rose quartz and hold it in your hands while reciting the spell below staring deep into your bowl of water.

” Water wash over my heart and soul to soothe what needs to mend, healing energy to me please send. Heal the inner scars and wounds you touch and I wish to no longer carry. Heal my heart, and soul so here on out I can be peacful and merry.”

Repeat the spell as many times as you feel you need to. Until you feel your emotional wounds mend, heal, and be released. Leave the candle to burn until it goes out on it’s own. Take your bowl of water and give it to the earth outside thanking it for absorbing your emotional wounds as you do so. Carry your rose quartz with you for as long as you need to bring you love and emotional healing throughout the day.

Howl your emotions out ritual with the wolf moon

This first full moon of the year is the wolf moon remember? So why not connect to the spirt and energy of the wild and wise wolf under the full moon rays of light by communicating like them tonight. One of the simplest ways to release pent-up emotions and energy is to actually howl at the moon just like wolves like to do. Though we now know that wolves howl for different reasons (including to find pack members or to coordinate a hunt), this full moon we can take a cue from these majestic creatures and do our own howling. The howl is the spirit of the wolf unleashed in its divine expression.

So this full moon Do what the wolf does: howl to the Moon. With all the stress and unwanted emotion in life let it go, howl what is in your heart. Let loose what is in the depths of your soul. The Moon is listening. Sitting with the Full Wolf Moon especially in cancer you will know that you are not alone.

How to do this:

When the moon is high out in the sky get some warm clothes on and head outside under the moonlight. Find a place where you can get a clear view of the full moon and be alone. Then stand with your feet apart and put your hands on your hips creating your strongest power pose. Focus on drawing the energy of the moonlight down into you and your pose. Feeling the untamed wild , wisdom, and intuition of the wolf. Allowing the rays of the full moon to hunt down the things that need to be released tonight. Once you feel they have been found. With a deep breath as loud as you can howl as the wolves do and let it all out. Feel the tension, the stress, the past wound, the pain, and the hurt, leave you now with the depth of your howl and be left to the winter wild.

Final thoughts

This full moon being the last one before we enter the year of shedding with the wood snake is your cue to slow down, tune into your intuition, and prepare for the release that naturally flows with the full moon. Whether it’s letting go of emotional baggage or simply acknowledging your inner world, this Full Moon invites you to nurture yourself and those closest to you. The Full Moon in Cancer is all about emotional release and healing especilay with the wolf howling by our side. This full moon encourages you to acknowledge what’s been submerged beneath the surface of the waves and let go of any emotional weight that no longer serves you. By focusing on self-compassion and nurturing your emotional well-being, you can create a solid foundation for personal healing and growth during this full moon in sign of the crab with Cancer.

Don’t forget to make preparations for your full moon hangover you may experience after this lumination. If you don’t know what a full moon hangover is or how to deal with one you can read all about it in my previous blog post here!

Have you been feeling stuck, emotionally unstable, missing joy in your life, or having a hard time connecting to yourself and your magic? Do you want to start the new year from a different headspace? I have the answer for you to start out this new year from a place feeling grounded, present, and ready to manifest your dream life. Come join me for this special one time only two day event teaching you how to integrate the practice of Mindfulness to your magic and life!

What is mindfulness? Mindfulness is the practice of purposely bringing one’s attention to the present moment without judgment. It allows you to move from just existing in life to thriving, get back to wise mind, create a place to heal and grow in, and most important of all, align you with joy while creating a life where you truly thrive! This skill is a core skill in DBT, the therapy that changed my life! To register for this special two day event visit the link below! https://www.paypal.com/ncp/payment/JY5UBMB2TA27L

Come join me for community, knowledge, and to restore the enchantment of magic in yourself and life today!

Don’t forget to head over to the shop today for eBooks, workshops, resources, and 1:1 services with me!

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About Me : I have been a solitary grey magic practitioner for 15 + years. First and foremost, I consider myself a mystic and seeker of all knowledge. I am dedicated to the restoration, and re-enchantment of Magic in society, across this realm, and in each and every soul I come across in life! I am here to create a container that promotes healing, duality, and raw authenticity. I do this by guiding you on your personal journey to understanding your unique magic and sacred contracts. I facilitate this for you through embracing your shadow, duality and learning to live in energetic balance while not wearing a mask. When you work and learn from me you do so from your “darkness” as much as your “light” and in a way to truly harness and accept it not to just go thru it on the way to your light. But, I teach you how to truly embrace it, work with it, and use it alongside your light as a partner. I hold up a mirror for you to be able to see your authentic reflection looking back. Then have the courage to take the next step and do the uncomfortable but vital inner work to completely remove your mask. By facing all of your past wounds, traumas, and hurts. Allowing you to see both the dark and light within your story and take each chapter and alchemize it into something that is so powerful. your unique internal flame will shine so bright you will always be able to go within and find it on a dark cold night. You will learn how to truly live in duality and energetic balance to allow growth, and alignment with your sacred contracts and purposes. to finally move on and truly let the things that hold you back in this life from healing and manifesting go. To see everything I offer; like personalized shadow work sessions, womb healing, eBooks for you to work through on your own, Tarot sessions for guidance and more! Go to my shop!

© 2025, Modgepodgemystic LLC

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Shake up societal norms and liberate yourself during Saturnalia

Yule may be the most well-known pagan celebration of the Winter season, but it is certainly not the only one nor in my opinion is the most fun of them all. That would be The Saturnalia Festival. The Saturnalia Festival l is an ancient Roman holiday that mainly celebrated the Winter sowing season, as well as honored the god Saturn. The actual dates vary but most scholars agree it was once celebrated between December 17th and the 23rd OR December 25th through the 31st, depending on the calendar that was used. Saturnalia was a jovial time for the entire city of Rome because, everyone in ancient Rome participated in the excitement. Saturnalia was a day when all work came to halt for everyone from the emperor to slaves. This meant even the courts of law were closed. Saturnalia was a time of revelry and social upheaval in Roman society, characterized by indulgence, merrymaking, and the suspension of norms.

When was Saturnalia?

The Saturnalia Festival is an ancient Roman holiday that mainly celebrated the Winter sowing season, as well as honored the god Saturn. The actual dates vary but most scholars agree it was once celebrated between December 17th and the 23rd OR December 25th through the 31st, depending on the calendar that was used. What we know for sure is it that it was observed around Midwinter a.k.a. the Winter Solstice and when the Norse celebrated Yule. Saturnalia is thought to have lasted for up to seven days, this was followed by the celebration of the winter solstice and birth of the the sun god, Sol Invictus, on December 25th , an occasion marked by the city wide chariot races.

History of Saturnalia

Saturnalia started out as a one-day farmers’ festival on 17th December each year. As you might have guessed by the name, the festival was to honor Saturn – the god of farming and the harvest. Over the centuries, the festival grew, eventually becoming a seven-day event culminating on December 23rd with Sigillaria – a day of gift-giving. During this period, Romans celebrated the completion of the planting season and honored Saturn, thanking him for the promise of bountiful harvests to come. The festival brought warmth and light to the darkest days of the year and most of all gratitude to the god of agriculture Saturn.

Saturnalia a time to shake up societal norms

My all time favorite Ancient Roman tradition comes from this festival. One of Saturnalia’s traditions consisted of allowing people to revel in a role reversal of sorts. The social norms on Saturnalia were lifted. Slaves were treated as equals, allowed to wear their masters’ clothing, and be waited on at meal time in remembrance of an earlier golden age thought to have been ushered in by the god. Not only that but, it was a time of participating in indulgences we normally wouldn’t get to partake in like orgies, and cross dressing.

Saturnalia a time of Liberation

Saturnalia was even called a “feast of liberation.” Enslaved people were temporarily liberated. Moral rules were loosened, so activities like gambling , swearing in public and cross dressing were allowed on Saturnalia. The strict city dress code enforced upon all was even lifted meaning no more togas during this festival. Instead bright clothes were worn by all. Allowing others to freely be themselves and express themselves in ways that normally are not allowed giving them liberation they don’t normal get to feel the rest of the year round.

Saturnalia a golden era of abundance

At the heart of Saturnalia was a celebration for Saturn, the god of a the best time for humanity, called the Golden Age. This was a time when everything was plenty and peaceful. It was like a magical time with lots of resources, where everyone got along well, and the earth gave abundance without anyone having to work too hard. This time was full of lots of good things and happiness, and life was easy and free. The time when Saturn was in charge was like the beginning of a world that was full of peace and freedom. This is the time we remember and try to receive from the god Saturn again during Saturnalia.

Saturnalia a time when the veil is thinned

Like their Northern European neighbors who celebrated Yule, the ancient Romans believed the spirits and ghosts from the underworld were active during the Winter season and holidays like Saturnalia. Saturnalia, was a time when the spirits of the dead were honored and the boundaries between social classes were temporarily overturned including those between the living and the dead.

Common Traditions

Saturnalia was generally considered a merry festival, with lots of feasting and exchanging of gifts. Many of the common traditions we see during the winter solstice were seen during this festival as well. In Rome, the holiday was kicked off with a religious ceremony in the Temple of Saturn, followed by a free public banquet open to all. Along with the other common traditions below.

Unbinding of Saturn’s feet

The statue of Saturn’s feet, typically bound the rest of the year, were freed from their bindings during the festival. This symbolized the freedom and liberation of the gods, people, and earth. This was done within the temple of Saturn and by most accounts I can read the priest’s was even allowed to uncover his face.

Drinking, feasting, and revelry

Saturnalia was definitely a time of merriment full of Bacchus level style of partying. Drinks were flowing, bellies were full, and voices of laughter and singing were heard throughout every street. Sources say traditional foods included roast boar, cakes, walnuts, honey, grapes, fermented fish, figs, apples and of course, wine. In addition to the role reversals, large parties were had that involved orgies, fertility rites, gambling, and games of many kinds. cross-dressing was a common tradition and enlivened the atmosphere with joy as well.

Gift giving and gag gifts

Gift-giving, still common during the Winter holiday season today, was incredibly prominent in ancient Rome as a Saturnalia tradition. Gifts were given to children and gag gifts between friends. The gag gifts were called sigillaria and were typically wax dolls and figurines made to resemble gods, mythical heroes, and even grotesque monsters. These were typically sold during a Saturnalia market traditionally held during the holidays. Some believe the figurines are a nod to ancient times when human sacrifices might have been made. I wonder if this is where the roots to the famous gag gifting game, the white elephant game, gets it’s roots from.

The king of Saturnalia

The King of Saturnalia was a man chosen in each household to represent the leader of Saturnalia or Lord of Misrule. The King of Saturnalia would then cause mischief or misrule in the household and more specifically at parties and feasts. By playing pranks, telling jokes, chasing the women, etc. Even having the role creating chaos, by yelling commands that other partygoers had to obey. I consider this tradition as a way to create a character or “spirit” of the season. When I read about this common tradition it gives me a very Loki, causing Mischief kind of feel.

Saturnalia and the god Saturn

Saturn, and his consort Ops (Opis) were both worshiped on Saturnalia. To the Ancient Romans, Saturn wasn’t just the god of karma time and boundaries, but he was also an agricultural god and the ruler of a great Golden Age, a time of abundance and perfect peace. He taught the people about agriculture and how to save their money, so they might never experience hunger or poverty again. He taught them the payout of discipline and restraint. Offerings and sacrifices were made to both the god and his goddess in hopes of protecting the Winter-sown crops. Saturn, also called Father Time and Seed-Sower, is the Roman god of agriculture, prosperity, time and fertility. In one of the myths, Saturn is a haggard wanderer who eventually is given the job of door guardian. Tasked with guarding Rome’s immense wealth. Let’s be honest we all know how much Rome loves their money and gold. Which places him as one of the most important gods to Rome of all, outside of their founders whom we celebrate soon during Lupercalia.

Saturnalia and the goddess Ops

Saturn wasn’t the only deity honored during the days of the Saturnalia Festival but, so was his consort Ops. On, December 19th is Opalia, the feast day of Ops. Ops is the goddess of peace, plenty, and protection. She specifically is invoked to guard one’s home against fires and to extinguish fires that have gone out of control. Interestingly, her name influenced the word opulence, which means great wealth or luxuriousness.

Saturnalia Vs the Winter solstice and Yule

While both Saturnalia and the Winter Solstice happen to be festivals that take place around the same time as each other they are quite different with different core meanings. Saturnalia was a time of revelry and social upheaval in Roman society, characterized by indulgence, merrymaking, and the suspension of norms. In contrast, Yule carried a deep reverence for the natural cycles, focusing on the return of light and the cosmic order. While both Saturnalia and Yule involved feasting and joyful gatherings, their underlying philosophies and significance varied. Yule centered on the sun’s rebirth and spiritual renewal, whereas Saturnalia was more associated with social liberties and honoring Saturn as an agricultural deity.

Themes of Saturnalia

Every season and every pagan holiday has certain concepts and magical themes. Which means, depending on your tradition and needs, you can weave one or more of these themes into your personal celebrations. This festival perform spells to harness the energies of the harvest, abundance, expression, gratitude, liberation, accessing our deepest desires, and merriment. This is also a time to reflect on the past year, but in a way to be present. To truly let go and celebrate the hard work you did during the planting and harvest season. Saturnalia is a time to break down walls, let go of fear, and allow ourselves to express ourselves freely. To no longer let the expectations, and rules of societal norms hold us in shackles anymore. On Saturnalia, we see the following magical rituals and spells below as well. Remember these are just some of the themes and energies you can connect to and work with on Yule.

  • Merriment
  • Role reversal
  • Liberation
  • Equality
  • Celebration
  • Feasting
  • Drunkenness
  • Breakthroughs
  • Expression
  • Freedom
  • Abundance
  • The Harvest
  • Charity
  • Community
  • Agriculture
  • Wealth
  • Joy
  • Winter
  • Debauchery
  • Interconnectedness
  • Humor
  • Mischief

Saturnalia and Duality

Since, I am a grey witch I look for the duality in every single energy I work with including sacred times like the ancient Roman Festival of Saturnalia. This festival and holiday is time full of merriment, revelry, and honestly down right debauchery. Allowing us to express ourselves freely. For this one time during the year not be bound by societal norms giving us a taste of true authentic freedom. This may make some think this holiday is only about positive and wanted energies. But, that is not the case. To truly be free, to feel full liberation and be present in true debauchery you have to allow yourself to face your repressed feelings, inner shame, and let go of fear and control. You must be willing to let go of all fears and take a massive leap of faith in yourself, your partner, and the community you have made. You have to be willing to remove any masks you have in place so you can be truly present to feel all the pleasure liberation has for you to taste.

Correspondences of Saturnalia

First, what is a correspondence? A correspondence is an item or symbol that is meant to connect you to a specific energy thru it’s representation. It is seen also as an item to respect, honor, and venerate that energy as well whether it be a deity, an archetype energy, the zodiac energy the moon is currently or for A holiday or sacred time like Saturnalia. I will list below for you to use. Remember this is not an all encompassing list and there may be other correspondences to use. Just follow your intuition and use what calls to you.

  • Planet- Saturn
  • Animal- pig/ boar
  • Element- Earth
  • colors- red, green, gold, white
  • Herbs/flowers-spruce, fir, holly, bay laurel, cinnamon, pumpkin, mint, cumin, peppercorn, coriander, fennel, Rue
  • Stones/ crystals- Iolite, Sapphire, Moldavite, Black obsidian, Shungite, Smoky quartz, Spirit quartz, Onyx, pyrite, black tourmaline, Jet, blue kyanite, carnelian, ruby, garnet, malachite, clear quartz, Lapis Lazuli
  • Deities-Saturn and Opis. Also Janus, and Bacchus
  • Symbols-decorated trees, evergreen garland, wreaths, gilded ornaments, the sun face, candles, Sigillaria, coins
  • Food/drinks: boar, pork, honey cakes, figs, dates, grapes, mulled wine, mead, apples, olive oil

Ways to connect to Saturnalia

Whether you choose to weave Saturnalia traditions into your Winter holidays OR full-on embrace the ancient Roman festival, there are many festive ways to do so. First, In your everyday life, you can work with any affirmations, mantras, and visualization work for liberation, freedom, sexual desires, abundance, and wealth. Check out below more ways to work with and celebrate this Ancient roman holiday into your holiday season even now!

Switch up the roles in your home

One of the most popular traditions and my personal favorite was the role reversal. So, why not do the same in your life during this festival to honor that as well. Now, you may not be able to do this in your entire life because, it isn’t something that is widely celebrated like it was during ancient times in Rome. But, you can do it in your own home at least. So if you are normally the one managing the home while someone else gets a more laid back role. For these few days switch those roles. Allow each other to understand how the other feels to create more harmony in your home from this day on.

Gambling

During Saturnalia, a time of jovial merrymaking, many social norms were relaxed and inverted. Gambling, normally outlawed, was allowed in public. According to some accounts, you were only supposed to gamble for nuts, not money, to recreate the golden age of Saturn

Abundance and Sharing Celebrations

Host a feast that’s all about gratitude and generosity. Share your blessings with others, perhaps through a community meal where everyone contributes, or by donating to those in need. You can also cast abundance and wealth spells for not only you but, also for others. One of my favorites to do is to make abundance spell bags, or packets and gift them to friends, family members, and even strangers on the street.

Gift giving

Embrace the joy of giving with thoughtful, perhaps handmade, gifts. Acts of kindness, personalized letters, or DIY crafts can be more meaningful than store-bought presents.

Other ways to celebrate

  • Decorate with Evergreens
  • Carry On the Saturnalia Tree Tradition
  • Purification and cleansing Rituals
  • host a Saturnalia Feast
  • Dress in bright and lively clothing
  • add Saturnalia Decorations to your altar
  • Honor Saturn with prayer and offerings
  • Work with some chaos magic to cause a little mischief
  • Designate someone in your home as the king of Saturnalia
  • Throw a Big Party full of dancing, singing, drinking, and feasting
  • Pumpkin magic
  • Shadow work focused on freedom, liberation, and what you view as societal norms holding you back. If you would like to learn more about shadow work you can purchase my eBook here;  you can book me for a 1:1 session as your guide here; and you can watch my free class previously taught on it through Divination here.
  • Study and learn about the history and practices of Saturnalia
  • Good luck and fortune spells
  • Sex magic
  • Add sigils to increase joy and give thanks for your meal with some kitchen magic
  • Candle magic
  • Apple magic
  • Mirror magic to unmask repressed parts of who you are
  • Spells to increase peace, harmony, and understanding
  • Play pranks, be a kid, do things that make you laugh
  • Celebrate the past years success
  • Charity work, or donate your time focused on feeding those in need
  • Elemental magic with the element Earth

Final thoughts

While Saturnalia seems to be lost to the ancient past by many, its lessons feel timeless. It teaches us to pause, reflect, and connect—to honor the cycles around us and revel in life’s fleeting joys. The Romans embraced Saturnalia as a way of restoring balance, gaining perspective, and finding unity, whether its by serving another or sharing a warm laugh . Follow your intuition and honor Saturnalia however feels right. That could be through sharing gifts, hosting a festive feast, or simply taking a moment to connect with your loved ones beyond the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Saturnalia reminds us to honor both the light and the shadow, to plant seeds for future harvests, and to bask in the merriment of community. It reminds us of the true freedom and liberation we get to feel when we embrace our authenticity and live outside of societal norms no matter what others feel and think.

Come join me for community, knowledge, and to restore the enchantment of magic in yourself and life today!

Don’t forget to head over to the shop today for eBooks, workshops, resources, and 1:1 services with me

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About Me : I have been a solitary grey magic practitioner for 15 + years. First and foremost, I consider myself a mystic and seeker of all knowledge. I am dedicated to the restoration, and re-enchantment of Magic in society, across this realm, and in each and every soul I come across in life! I am here to create a container that promotes healing, duality, and raw authenticity. I do this by guiding you on your personal journey to understanding your unique magic and sacred contracts. I facilitate this for you through embracing your shadow, duality and learning to live in energetic balance while not wearing a mask. When you work and learn from me you do so from your “darkness” as much as your “light” and in a way to truly harness and accept it not to just go thru it on the way to your light. But, I teach you how to truly embrace it, work with it, and use it alongside your light as a partner. I hold up a mirror for you to be able to see your authentic reflection looking back. Then have the courage to take the next step and do the uncomfortable but vital inner work to completely remove your mask. By facing all of your past wounds, traumas, and hurts. Allowing you to see both the dark and light within your story and take each chapter and alchemize it into something that is so powerful. your unique internal flame will shine so bright you will always be able to go within and find it on a dark cold night. You will learn how to truly live in duality and energetic balance to allow growth, and alignment with your sacred contracts and purposes. to finally move on and truly let the things that hold you back in this life from healing and manifesting go. To see everything I offer; like personalized shadow work sessions, womb healing, eBooks for you to work through on your own, Tarot sessions for guidance and more! Go to my shop!

© 2024, Modgepodgemystic LLC

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Why Coming Out As A Bisexual Woman, In A Hetero Or Straight Appearing Relationship Was Hard

This month(June) kicks off LGBT PRIDE month! Pride month is a month dedicated to the celebration and commemoration of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender pride.

Those who identify as bisexual are among those to be included this pride month. But, bisexual people often exist in a grey area, simultaneously ostracized by the LGBTQ+ community as not “gay enough” and heterosexual people as not “straight enough.” Others tell them they are just confused, it was or is a phase, and the even more harsh to here from both communities; it’s not real and all for attention. That may explain why, according to one recent study, most bisexual people say their friends and family don’t know their sexuality.

Coming out as bisexual was a very difficult thing to do and I want to take the time to really talk about and shed light on the whys especially on the fact that we struggle to fit into either community, our identities are questioned often, and how if we are in a hetero or straight appearing relationship it diminishes our identities as bisexuals and/or ostracize us from communities.

I used to be one of those in the most category we talked about earlier in the survey. Until 3 years ago a combination between a new type of therapy and Pride month, allowed me to finally open up about my sexuality, my past, and how much being in the closet was really affecting me. I hadn’t expressed to anyone my sexualtiy not even to my husband who at the time I had been with for a decade. No one knew about my brief relationship with a girl in middle school and high school, my sexual hookups with girls, and the deep feelings of sexual attraction and desire for many of my deep friendships growing up.

People were surprised to say the least, and many didn’t believe me and said or asked quite a handful of hurtful things. I had always been in hetero or straight passing relationships in public and I ended up married in one even. It made it even harder for me since I met my husband so young, and have been together for 13 years now as I write this. Like I said, I hadn’t even discussed it with my husband until he was the first one I came out to right before my cousin and best friend. On top of that, I didn’t come out until I was almost 30 years old, at that point many asked me why it mattered now, including myself.

But, the longer I was in the closet and not public and vocal about my identity; the more I didn’t feel authentic. The more I didn’t feel honest. The more I didn’t feel whole. The more I had actually started to have some guilt in my marriage and resentment as well. And I had reached a point that I needed to figure out why I was so afraid to openly express my sexuality when I was usually so authentic about every other area of my life.

There were three huge reasons I had come up with while in reflection. The first was my hetero or straight appearing relationship really causes a lot of issues with my sexuality. Now, this doesn’t mean my husband isn’t kind and supportive or I was worried of judgement from him. The issue is the image my relationship makes others see and how they perceive me and feel about it me in different communities because of it. From my experience your made to feel, when you are in a hetero or straight relationship you for some reason have to almost just give up and hand over identity as a bisexual. You get questions from the LGBT community and the assumptions made that you are a straight when you are seen with your partner. You get doubted and not believed from the ally or straight community as well and even told, well your married now and to a man so how can you be bisexual anymore? Again, like the whole time it was just confusion and you waiting to make an ultimate choice on your identity and you chose straight.

However, my “gay side” and my “straight side” do not compete. They coexist, regardless of my partner’s gender. This is simply my identity and it doesn’t go away because, of the gender or sexual identity of my life partner. When I really realized this myself it helped me to understand that it shouldn’t matter to myself or anyone else that my relationship appears to others as a hetero or straight relationship. I am and always will be bisexual no matter the gender or identity of the person I am married too.

The second reason it was so hard for me to come out as bisexual was the grey area I talked about in the beginning that made me feel really ostracized in either community. Listening to the way others would talk about those who were bisexual both in the hetero or straight community and in the LGBT community didn’t make it seem like a welcoming and opening space for me to be out in. To be honest I still struggle with this today. In general because of being bisexual and the having to always feel like you are defending your identity, what it means in both communities and defending yourself to be included in the safe spaces. To be questioned about the validity of it, was it phase, were you just confused, and even at times being made to feel like it’s asking for attention. AND this is coming from all sides and both communities which makes it seem like being lonely in the closet may be better than having to defend yourself from all fronts at times.

The third reason was the guilt and resentment that I had started to build up in my marriage. Most of this was my fault. My husband had never given me any reason to believe that I couldn’t be open and honest with him. For me, I just wasn’t ready to come out to anyone at all about it and that had included him for a really long time. I would make comments about my preferences in women and how I found some attractive throughout the years but, I never told him directly about my identity. Eventually I started to feel guilty for not allowing him the chance to be a safe space and also for not being fully honest with him and all parts of who I was. When the guilt got really heavy I even at times felt like I had tricked him into marrying someone he didn’t fully know and that felt wrong and unfair. Which made me had to decide what felt worse the guilt about hiding it from him or the anxiety of coming out to him?

The fourth and final reason it was hard for me to come out as bisexual was I experience straight-passing privilege because of the image my relationship portrays to others. This means that most people assume I am a straight woman in a heterosexual relationship. Which does allow me to at times not have to deal with some challenges and obstacles of those assumptions if I don’t want to. Which led to me feeling guilty and like I almost hadn’t earned the right to be in the LGBT community and in queer spaces especially since I had been in the closet for such a long time.

I eventually realized that guilt is a feeling that you invoke on yourself not others so it was time for me to deal with that on my own while remembering that it was something I needed to be aware. Because, when you let that guilt and straight-passing privilege take over it can lead to the erasing of your bisexuality whether you do it to yourself like I did by not allowing myself out the closet for so long or by others making assumptions about your identity no longer existing. I do my best to also remember it’s normal to not always feel confident in my identity. It’s okay to sometimes feel discomfort, after all sexuality is a spectrum that changes as we evolve with it.

To this day I still experience being questioned, I still have to be vocal in public spaces and openly identify myself to feel like I am not allowing straight-passing privilege to erase my bisexuality, and at times I have to still struggle with feelings of guilt when in queer safe spaces and especially during pride month it gets a spotlight shown on it. I do my best to hold onto my bisexuality though and not allow it to be erased because of my hetero or straight passing relationship. Some of the ways I do that is by trying to be vocal and open about my identity, until recently I had a flag in the front window of my home ( it will be replaced), I talk about my identity often with others, and I bring awareness to my relationship and others on my social media when I can. I attend pride events and try to be in queer safe spaces and communities and find ways to bring my bisexuality into my life through shows I watch, conversations with my husband, and into my sex life without cheating.

What I ask of you if you took the time to read about my experience this pride month is if you are bisexual and in closest I hope this helped you feel safer, and seen. I hope it let you know you are not alone and there actually is a much bigger community of others out there for you to connect with. Especially if you are in a hetero or straight appearing relationship. Since, I came out of the closet I have had more than a handful of other women confide in me they identify the same way and I guard some of their doors still. Most importantly remember being bisexual doesn’t mean you shouldn’t find safety and belong in queer safe spaces.

If you are not bisexual I ask that you remember being bisexual isn’t a phase, or confusion for someone you love if that is how they identify. Even if they end up choosing a life partner that has them appear to be in a hetero or straight appearing relationship. It doesn’t suddenly make them no longer bisexual. Please don’t try and erase that part of their identity from who they are. This pride month if they are out of the closet and vocal about it don’t forget about them. Don’t allow them to be overlooked especially if they are in a hetero or straight appearing relationship. Their existence isn’t any less valid in the LGBT community this pride month. Remind them that their relationship doesn’t make them any less valid in the LGBT community and it shouldn’t make them feel that way either or like they have to hide in the closet if they still are.

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Lupercalia and Valentine’s Day; how to celebrate both as a Pagan and/or Witch

It’s February the month all about love, romance, sex, and fertility and we have two major holidays that focus on that for us to celebrate. Most people know about one of them; Valentine’s Day but, do you know where that holiday originates from? Well, that would be Lupercalia, an Ancient Roman festival for fertility and purification. Some even call it the Pagan Valentine’s Day. So, if you don’t want to get sucked into all the commercialism and Christianized holiday plus have a lot more fun and pleasure, Lupercalia is definitely the holiday for you! In this post I will walk you thru both holidays and you can pick which one is more fun to celebrate this month for yourself.

So, What is Lupercalia?

Lupercalia is an ancient Roman festival of fertility and purification. It’s celebrated from February 14th to the 15th and predates Valentine’s Day by centuries! Every year, the ancient Romans would perform rituals and then throw parties all in the name of purification. To purify the city of Rome on this festival guaranteed a good crop, plenty of pregnant ladies, and overall good health and happy people for the whole city. As with most pagan holidays, No one is really sure how far back this Roman festival really goes, but some have traced it back to the 6th century BC. And others date it back to long before Rome was a power. But many agree that It is a Shepard’s festival that was brought to Rome by Romulus and Remus.

The legend of Romulus and Remus; the myth behind Lupercalia

The legend has it that the Roman king, King Amulius, orders his twin nephews to be killed because of their mother’s broken vow of celibacy. The king ordered for them to be thrown in the Tiber River. Instead of just being tossed in- they were placed safely in a basket by a servant. The river-god is said to have carried the basket down river where it got caught in the branches of a wild fig tree. The twins were rescued by a she-wolf who lived in a den at the base of Palatine Hill.

Later, the twins were adopted by a Shepard and his wife and they learned the shepherds’ trade. After killing their uncle- King Amulius, they found the den of the she-wolf that had raised them and whose name was Lupercal.   Lupercalia is the celebration to honor both the God and the she-wolf that raised them. In addition to being linked to the wolf, Lupercalia was a “breastfeeding” festival. Specifically representing the fertility tied to the founders of Rome – Romulus and Remus needed to survive when they were thrown into the river.

Who is the god Lupercus?

Lupercus, was an ancient Roman Italian divinity, who was worshipped by shepherds as the protector of their flocks against wolves, and at the same time as the promoter of the fertility among sheep. His sanctuary was the Lupercal, where she-wolf took care of Romulus and Remus. Lupercus is sometimes identified alongside the god Pan in Greek mythology.

So, how did they celebrate Lupercalia?

Ritual sacrifice was completed by the Roman’s to start off this festival. There was a sacrifice of a goat and a dog. The goat for fertility and the dog was most likely to honor the she-wolf. The Roman priests, called Luperci, would sacrifice the goat and the dog, smear the blood on the foreheads of 2 youths and as they wiped it away with a piece of milk-soaked wool, the youths were required to laugh. After the Ritual Sacrifice, came the feast. When the feasting was over, the skin of the goat would be cut into strips or thongs (called februa). The men would then run around naked, or nearly naked, whipping women with the thongs. A lot of women welcomed the lashes as they believed it to be a fertility consecration. Getting whipped was supposed to make you fertile, so the more whippings, the more fertile you were. It was even said by visitors from other cities that the women would “bare” their skin and welcome the whippings. This part of the ritual was also a symbolic gesture of purification of the men and a symbolic purification of the land. Later, during the Lupercalia festival, men would chose women’s names from a jar and would be coupled with them for the festival. Some sources reference this as the lottery of Lupercalia. This festival was all about fertility and sex so all sorts of debauchery happened. Sometimes, they would even stay together until the next year’s festival, or even get married. Over time, the sexuality of the festival was lost until it was fully clothed men whipping women’s hands. BORING!

How did Lupercalia become Valentine’s day?

Saint Valentine was said to be a priest named Valentine who was imprisoned and beheaded by Roman Emperor Claudius II for assisting persecuted Christians and secretly marrying Christian couples in love. He even tired converting Claudius to Christianity while he was imprisoned. He was beheaded on February 14, which later became known as Valentine’s Day.  I know you are thinking, okay so how does this become Valentine’s day, well we all know the Catholic church and it doesn’t matter how long it takes they find a reason to Christianize a holiday. Well, after the Catholic church declared Valentine a saint, a pope in 494 CE, Pope Gelasius I eliminated the pagan festival of Lupercalia. He decided that February 14 would be the day to celebrate Saint Valentine, who had become known as the patron of lovers because of the couples he had married. Plus the date they picked just so happened to fall in the middle of Lupercalia that they really needed to get rid of.

Magical themes of Lupercalia

Every season and every pagan holiday has certain concepts and magical themes. Which means, depending on your tradition and needs, you can weave one or more of these themes into your personal celebrations. This festival perform spells to harness the energies of fertility, purification, pleasure, lust, and prosperity. This is also a time to reflect on your relationships and future goals in regards to children. This festival is reminder to harness the fertility of spring awakening soon to bring you what you deeply desire. On Lupercalia, we see the following magical rituals and spells below as well. Remember these are just some of the themes and energies you can connect to and work with on Lupercalia.

  • fertility
  • purification
  • lust
  • prosperity
  • pleasure
  • good health
  • renewal
  • community
  • family
  • protection

Correspondences for Lupercalia

First, what is a correspondence? A correspondence is an item or symbol that is meant to connect you to a specific energy thru it’s representation. It is seen also as an item to respect, honor, and venerate that energy as well whether it be a deity, an archetype energy, the zodiac energy the moon is currently or for A holiday or sacred time like Lupercalia. I will list below for you to use. Remember this is not an all encompassing list and there may be other correspondences to use. Just follow your intuition and use what calls to you.

  • Planet-Jupiter
  • Animal-goat, wolf
  • symbol-phallic symbols, wolf, Romulus, Remus, roman empire
  • colors-White:, red
  • Herbs/flowers-rosemary and lavender
  • Stones/ crystals-carnelian and amethyst
  • Deities-Lupercus
  • Food/drinks- milk, goat meat

Correspondences for Valentine’s Day

Remember, what is a correspondence? A correspondence is an item or symbol that is meant to connect you to a specific energy thru it’s representation. It is seen also as an item to respect, honor, and venerate that energy as well whether it be a deity, an archetype energy, the zodiac energy the moon is currently or for A holiday or sacred time like Valentine’s day. I will list below for you to use. Remember this is not an all encompassing list and there may be other correspondences to use. Just follow your intuition and use what calls to you.

  • Symbols- Hearts, doves, birds, cupid
  • deities- Venus, Aphrodite, Eros, Dionysus, bachas, any deity of love, fertility and sex
  • herb/flowers- roses, lavender, basil, cinnamon
  • colors- pink, red, white
  • crystals/stones- rose quartz, garnet, ruby, green aventurine, red jasper, rhodochrosite
  • tools- candles
  • foods- strawberries, avocado, cherry, chocolate

How to celebrate Lupercalia

However you choose to work with the Lupercalia magic and energies make sure to follow your intuition where it leads you. Make sure you tap into the energies of fertility, renewal, purification, pleasure, and prosperity. In your everyday life, you can work with any affirmations, mantras, and visualization work for abundance, fertility, the coming spring, and community. Let’s take a look at some of the many different ways you can magically work with the energy of Lupercalia.

Cleansing & Purging
Lupercalia is in the month of February, and it was also called dies Februatus by the ancient Romans. Februatus translates to “purge”. Therefore, if you don’t want to celebrate the pagan Valentine’s Day with love-making and feasting, make it a day of cleansing and purging. Get rid of what no longer serves you in the physical realm. Including clutter in your space (think junky closets, pantries, fridge, etc.) and then cleanse the negative vibrations via smoke-cleansing. In addition, purging yourself of unwanted thoughts and harmful habits and cleansing your aura via a ritual bath or shower.

Feast on the Pagan Valentine’s Day!
Whether you have a love interest or not, Lupercalia is about celebrating what we have on this earthly plane. It’s the perfect day to throw a feast! Choose foods that are traditional Roman or Italian, red sauces, wine, and other red foods. Aphrodisiacs are appropriate if you are getting romantic with the meal including strawberries, oysters, chocolate, and dairy.

Drink Wine
The Romans were all about their wine. If you want to do Lupercalia right, you got to drink the wine. Red is best to represent love and passion. Be sure to make a toast to the ancient Romans and a fertile life before drinking the wine. Clink your glasses together to scare off the bad spirits lurking in the wine. Setting up an altar for the god of wine Dionysus or Bacchus is also appropriate whenever you have a feast with Roman influences behind it.

Fertility Rituals
Trying to conceive? Or maybe you have no desire for a baby at all. Either way, fertility isn’t just about conceiving children. It also relates to prosperity and growth of nearly any other goal in life: career success, your passions like art, etc. Lupercalia is a powerful day to do fertility spells and rituals of any kind! Some of my favorite fertility spells involve using eggs. Check out my guide here to read all about it and use some of them listed there.

Wear Red and White as a rebellion to Valentine’s day

Instead of wearing red and white to connect to valentines day you can wear it to connect to Lupercalia. You were red to represent the blood of sacrifice and the white of milk of the she wolf and goddess Rumina.

Creative Endeavors on Lupercalia
Since Lupercalia is a fertile time, creativity is given a boost in different aspects. Have you been waiting for the right time to start a new project? To learn a new skill? Engage in some sort of arts and crafts to celebrate Lupercalia and the inspiration will not flow short.

Have sex!
When in Rome, do as the Romans do. OR when it’s Lupercalia, do as the Romans do. And have sex! You can even add some sex and lust magic to spice it up a bit! I have quite a few sex magic spells on my Pinterest. Plus don’t forget to sign up and register for my Valentine’s day sex magic event to learn more about it all!

Other ways to work with Lupercalia

  • Create an altar for Lupercus
  • perform prosperity and abundance spells
  • work with the she wolf in meditations or shamanic journeys
  • work with awakening your kundalini energy
  • leave an offering of milk on your altar
  • add some whipping to your sex life in honor of the old rituals
  • create fertility amulets and charms
  • set intentions and plan SMART goals for the coming spring and planting season
  • share some time one on one with your loved one
  • plan for having a children in the future
  • mindfully spend time outdoors to connect to nature
  • dance
  • serve your community in a way that works best for you
  • Craft Lupercalia Cards
  • plant and start sowing seeds for the coming spring
  • bless your seeds
  • Donate to an animal shelter or spend time volunteering at your local humane society with the dogs there
  • Participate in a Community Cleanup
  • get creative and express yourself artistically

Magical themes of Valentines day

Every holiday has certain concepts and magical themes. Which means, depending on your tradition and needs, you can weave one or more of these themes into your personal celebrations. This holiday perform spells to harness the energies of love, romance, fertility, sex, and abundance. This is also a time to reflect on your relationships and future goals in regards to commitment and romance. This festival is a reminder to harness the potent energy our love and romance with others in our life can create. On Valentine’s Day, we see the following magical rituals and spells below as well. Remember these are just some of the themes and energies you can connect to and work with on Valentine’s day.

  • Romance
  • Fertility
  • Commitment
  • love
  • pleasure
  • sex
  • abundance
  • relationships
  • friendship
  • admiration
  • affection

How to celebrate Valentines day

However you choose to work with the Valentines day magic and energies make sure to follow your intuition where it leads you. Make sure you tap into the energies of fertility, love, sex, pleasure, and abundance. In your everyday life, you can work with any affirmations, mantras, and visualization work for abundance, fertility, the coming spring, love, and commitment. Let’s take a look at some of the many different ways you can magically work with the energy of Valentines Day.

Share a meal with your loved ones.

Valentine’s day is about connection to others whether it be romantic love, or your family. So, take this time to connect with them through a delicious meal and you can make sure to have fruits like strawberries, passion fruit, cherries and more to connect to the energy of love.

Create a self love altar or do a self love ritual.

Valentine’s day is all about the energy of love and connection and that doesn’t have to be to anyone else that can be all about yourself and increasing your love of self. You can use this as a reminder that you are worthy of love, worth celebrating, and create a sacred space to connect to yourself. To learn more about self love and how to maintain it through self care you can check out my guide here.

Do a beauty or glamor ritual.

This type of magic can help you feel more desirable, have a higher level of self confidence, and turn up your sexual passion with heightened self esteem and valentines day is a perfect time to cast this with the heightened connection to Aphrodite who is great to use during these type of workings

Love spells to attract or enhance your love life.

Since, Valentine’s is all about love, romance, and connection why not use this time to cast a love spell or do any type of love spell work like a spell jar or honey jar? This time will enhance any of these type of spells whether you are looking to attract to new love to your life or rekindle it in your current relationship.

Work with Deities Aphrodite or Venus.

With Valentine’s day being all about love and romance what better deities to work with on all fronts whether its self love or with a partner than Aphrodite and Venus? These two are known for beauty, love, fertility and more. You can connect to them through any attracting love spells, beauty spells, work with your partner, and adding offerings to them to your altar during this time.

Use sex magic to enhance your life or manifestation work.

Valentines is a great time to do sex magic with yourself or your partner. What are sex magic spells and lust spells? Sex spells are magical rituals ready to help you boost your sex life, creating a unique luxurious burning desire between you and your partner. These spells and rituals are a great tool if you feel any lack of confidence, any distance between you and your loved one but, most of all, to have the best sex of your life! They are also a great tool for manifestation but, I feel for this holiday focus on the fun this magic can add to your life! To learn more about sex magic you can check out my class on YouTube with DiviNation Academy here.

Other ways to work with Valentine’s day

To get 9 spells to make this Valentine’s Day enchanting and magical click here!

  • Cast friendship spells
  • make offerings to deities of love to strengthen your relationship
  • volunteering your time to your community
  • add some sigils for love, romance, and passion to your meals with kitchen magic
  • make a spell jar to sweeten up your love life or attract your ideal partner
  • Use flowers in your spells or leave them at your altar
  • write love letters
  • watch romantic movies
  • Wake up your kundalini energy with some dance
  • Tanta
  • Take a ritual bath together to promote love
  • create a simmer pot spell to promote a deepened commitment in your relationship
  • cast spells to attract your ideal partner
  • perform a commitment ceremony
  • do some knot magic
  • cast fertility spells

Lupercalia/ Valentines day Spell

Celebrate the season of love with a simple and effective Lupercalia or Valentine’s Day love spell! This spell is designed to help you attract, give thanks for, and honor your current and potential loves. Whether you’re looking for a spark in an existing relationship, or wanting to draw new love into your life, this ancient ritual will infuse all forms of attraction with passion and romance. Whether you are single or in a committed relationship, this is the perfect opportunity to manifest more love into your life. A little bit of magic can take us far – so why not cast this pleasant celebratory spell? You might just see some amazing results!

What you will need:

  • Cinnamon
  • Ginger
  • Damiana
  • Rose petals
  • Honey
  • Empty jar
  • Rose quartz
  • Amethyst
  • Fire safe bowl
  • Red candle
  • Mirror
  • Piece of paper
  • Red ink pen

How to perform spell:

  • Light the red candle and place it near the fire safe bowl.
  • Take the cinnamon, ginger, damiana, and rose petals and mix them in the bowl.
  • Hold the ingredients in your hands and feel the energy flowing through you. Visualize yourself surrounded by love and positivity.
  • Light the ingredients with the candle flame, and while they’re burning, write down your love intentions on the piece of paper with the red ink pen.
  • Take the jar and add the burning ingredients and honey to it.
  • Place the rose quartz and amethyst into the jar and seal it with the lid.
  • Hold the jar in front of the mirror and say the following incantation with conviction: “By the power of love and the energies of Lupercalia, I call upon the universe to bring love and positivity into my life.”
  • Put the jar in a safe place and let the spell work its magic.

Final thoughts

Whether you choose to celebrate Valentine’s day or Lupercalia or even both just remember these holidays are all about fertility, purification, sex, and love. To celebrate Lupercalia and Valentine’s day is to immerse oneself in the embrace of nature’s beauty and the magic of community. So, take the time to connect to those however fits into your path and don’t forget to have fun with it and enjoy it!

Don’t forget to head over to my shop and register for my Valentines day sex magic event as well; Essence of the sacred dance. When you register for this event you will learn; Sex magic techniques to increase pleasure, create more presence in the moment, manifest your desires through organisms, and strengthen your connection through timeless intimacy! Let me show you how something as simple as the right energy, intention, and breathing technique with your blowjobs can heal years of trauma for your partner even! Plus you will leave with an eBook full of sex magic spells you can do on your own and journal prompts to help unlock more of your sexual prowess, desires, and release blockages holding you back in bed.

If you have ever wanted to learn how to make sex apart of your magic and spiritual life this event is for you! We begin at 6:30pm CST- 8:30pm CST on Wednesday February 11th in google meet. To register for this event purchase today!

Register Here
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About Me : I have been a solitary grey magic practitioner for 15 + years. First and foremost, I consider myself a mystic and seeker of all knowledge. I am dedicated to the restoration, and re-enchantment of Magic in society, across this realm, and in each and every soul I come across in life! I am here to create a container that promotes healing, duality, and raw authenticity. I do this by guiding you on your personal journey to understanding your unique magic and sacred contracts. I facilitate this for you through embracing your shadow, duality and learning to live in energetic balance while not wearing a mask. When you work and learn from me you do so from your “darkness” as much as your “light” and in a way to truly harness and accept it not to just go thru it on the way to your light. But, I teach you how to truly embrace it, work with it, and use it alongside your light as a partner. I hold up a mirror for you to be able to see your authentic reflection looking back. Then have the courage to take the next step and do the uncomfortable but vital inner work to completely remove your mask. By facing all of your past wounds, traumas, and hurts. Allowing you to see both the dark and light within your story and take each chapter and alchemize it into something that is so powerful. your unique internal flame will shine so bright you will always be able to go within and find it on a dark cold night. You will learn how to truly live in duality and energetic balance to allow growth, and alignment with your sacred contracts and purposes. to finally move on and truly let the things that hold you back in this life from healing and manifesting go. To see everything I offer; like personalized shadow work sessions, womb healing, eBooks for you to work through on your own, Tarot sessions for guidance and more! Go to my shop!

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